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Old 02-23-2016, 06:13 PM   #44
happily_married
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Virginia
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happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigmac View Post
In the eyes of many people outside of the BBW/FA community you would indeed be considered a fetishist (as would I).
Certainly, but that's a matter of opinion on their part. And counter to that opinion are many who also recognize that preference, regardless of how mainstream or non-mainstream it may be perceived, is simply preference and that having a preference that may not be as wide spread as others does not in and over itself make a fetish.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bigmac View Post
A term women seem to use more than men applies here -- "I like what I like". Lots of guys like women with big breasts, lots of guys like women with large butts and thighs, somewhat fewer men like really big bellies. If a guy tells his girl OMG I love your huge breasts its unlikely that without more he'd be considered a fetishist. If he says to his girl that he really likes her huge bottom he may or may not be considered a fetishist. But if he says OMG your huge fat belly is so sexy in all likelihood he'll be considered a fetishist.
This is actually similar to a point I've already made. A fetishist may be attracted to the fat itself. A fetishist may be aroused by the act of feeding or by the idea of his partner gaining. A fetishist may be attracted to a certain part a number on the scale more so than the actual person. But someone who simply appreciates the way the whole package (forgive the expression) appears is just a guy who has a preference. It certainly does not make him a fetishist.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bigmac View Post
In my books a fetish is just a like that is less broadly appreciated. Therefore, the determination of what is and what isn't a fetish is situational. Thus the terms FA and Fat Fetishist merely create a distinction without difference.
To you, yes. But to a lot of guys whose preferences are for normal girls who weigh more than other normal girls there is a huge distinction between our preferences and fetishists. I recognize you are working off a subjective definition. I just think it's an over simplification. I've encountered it before. In some cases it's intellectual laziness: a lack of effort to understand why someone's preferences would be different. In other cases it's a lack of ability to understand. I'm sure you've given it a lot of though over time and am not accusing you of falling into one of these two categories. But that is definitely true of the staggering majority of people who lump 'em all together.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bigmac View Post
I once called a 500 lb casual partner "my sexy fat girl" she broke into tears and wouldn't talk to me for a week. Going forward I kept my comments about a partner's body to size to myself. Whenever guys articulate their carnal thoughts they are at risk of being labeled a fetishist or objectifier of women. Best to keep your mouth shut an enjoy your partners abundance in silence.
Communication is wildly important. When I first started to venture out of the FA closet I mistakenly believed my preference for fat women would itself be endearing enough to these women. Dead wrong. I had to learn quickly that when a woman asked why I was attracted to her (translation: Why would I want to date a fat woman) I had to find a way to honestly communicate the preferences I had, or my "type" and that she fit that basic type. From there it was a matter of getting to know each other and hoping we had something we could build around. I got good at it over time, but it was sometimes a very steep and painful learning curve.
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