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Old 05-04-2016, 07:43 PM   #15
squeezablysoft
 
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Originally Posted by Tad View Post
This is mostly hypothetical, but I think that the combination of my feelings of ‘more softness is always good’ and ‘a body in motion is sexy’ (and associated with that, ‘exertion is hot’), suggests that to me my ‘upper limit’ could be heavily attitude dependent. That is, I think that I may have a sweet spot where ‘big enough to make getting around and fitting in noticeably more difficult’ intersects ‘desire to go out and do things’ and ‘enjoyment of overcoming challenges.’ That is to say, the point where size and weight play a role in decisions on a near daily basis, and may impact the what and how of activities, but doesn’t stop things outright. (this applies in my thoughts to both partner and myself, individually or collectively)

For example, where moderate amounts of walking or standing, or even modest numbers of stairs, are feasible – but it is worth doing some planning in advance if more than one activity is going to demand such things to keep the total from being too much. Where going to the beach for the day may be reasonable, but where certainly we wouldn’t park a mile from the beach entrance and then walk a long way down the beach on top of wanting to enjoy the water. Where walking from one gate to another of an airport is probably OK if there is enough time to sit down for a rest in the middle, but definitely a tight flight change wouldn’t make sense and where we would at least look at whether driving there was feasible, to avoid the whole spare seat issue. Where it is possible to go out to see a movie, if we choose a theatre with the right seating. Where getting up from the ground without help is possible, but enough work to make one think twice before dropping down to the ground in the first place (but choosing to do so sometimes anyway). Basically on the cusp of ‘too fat to do many normal activities’ but taking pains to keep doing them so that they do stay possible, if a bit challenging.

But this conclusion is only something I came to way later in life than my dating years, long after being married, having had years of discussions in places like this, having experienced more of things being easy or hard, etc.

Think I know what you mean about "exertion is hot", I mentioned something similar in this post, even came up with a lil acronym (EWF=Exertion While Fat): http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/fo...&postcount=169

I'm not yet obese but my disability puts me in an activity category similar to what you discussed here, where things are difficult but not impossible. My weight may be somewhat of a contributing factor though, as there are things that are harder for me now than they used to be even though CP is not a progressive condition. But then again it could just be age, since ppl with CP are prone to premature wear-and-tear on joints and such. I move slower than I used to (I'd need to anyway since my balance isn't what it used to be), my knees and back hurt sometimes, I have difficulty getting up from sitting and I never lay down on the floor anymore cause I can't get back up without something to pull up on and afterwards don't talk to me for about 10 minutes cause I'll be too busy trying to not die and keep my heart from running out of my chest. This is compared to 10 years and 60 pounds ago.

I've been told since I was a kid that it's only a matter of time before I lose the ability to get around on my knees and become totally chair-bound. I've fought it this long but wonder what will happen as I continue to age and gain. I'm afraid I may have to face the "stop gaining or become immobile" point at a much lower weight than most. But in my case immobility could be just a matter of time anyway, and gaining weight may simply hasten the inevitable.
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Addicted to Big Boys and Reese's PB Cups. Mostly FFA, but enjoy my own padding and if people want to worship me for that, I'll let them.

Last edited by squeezablysoft; 05-04-2016 at 08:03 PM. Reason: added stuff
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