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Old 06-04-2016, 04:22 AM   #5
agouderia
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,097
agouderia keeps pushing the rep limit!agouderia keeps pushing the rep limit!agouderia keeps pushing the rep limit!agouderia keeps pushing the rep limit!agouderia keeps pushing the rep limit!agouderia keeps pushing the rep limit!agouderia keeps pushing the rep limit!agouderia keeps pushing the rep limit!agouderia keeps pushing the rep limit!agouderia keeps pushing the rep limit!agouderia keeps pushing the rep limit!
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Originally Posted by happily_married View Post
So why is it she can see the physical appeal and beauty of so many other BBWs and not her own? Do any of our resident BBWs go through this too? And if so, why is this?
I can totally relate to where your wife is coming from.

It's actually rather simple. One element is what lucca pointed out that girls are raised to be rather self-critical. The other is the social context.

With others she can objectively assess their looks, strengths and weaknesses - because she has an unbiased perspective on them.

Looking at herself - she sees her own looks through the filter of all the assessments she has ever received in her life. And if you don't meet the petite, skinny ideal as a woman, from early on, you will have received many, if not most or in the worst case almost only negative assessments and reactions.

The problem of today's lookism is that being thin is the only thing that really counts for a woman. If a woman wears a size 4, everybody will be gushing about what a slim = beautiful figure she has. Even if her features are unattractive, she's pre-maturely aged, half-starved, or whatever - and objectively unattractive. On the other hand, even an objectively stunningly beautiful woman like Ashley Graham gets a lot of fat-bashing and libeling she is ugly just because she wears a size 16.

Your love and admiration for your wife and her looks simply can't make up and counteract an entire universe of a criticisim which her body-type faces in the real world. On a cognitive level she probably is able to view her looks, her strong points, what suits her more rationally - but it is extremely difficult to almost impossible to internalize that on an emotional, affective level in the face of societal opposition.
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