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Old 01-29-2017, 05:49 AM   #55
happily_married
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Virginia
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TwoSwords View Post
In my view, when a girl or woman expresses a sincere desire to be thin, that's a warning sign. This is because only two things can result from it. Either she'll be thin one day, or else she'll fail and be unhappy. In either case, I can't be happy about the results.

That said, at least with the former outcome, one of us can be happy, so I tend to just wish her the best. If the person was my wife, I would be inconsolable, because my only way out would be through fiction, but I would at least want her to know what my problem was, so that we could deal with it together. You never know. There might be other solutions if you both put your heads together.
I think you'd be surprised what you're capable of when you love someone. A few years ago my wife thinned down, shedding roughly 1/3 of her highest weight total. At points along the way she had expressed concern that I'd lose interest in her but I was legitimately happy because I saw how happy she was. She grew confident and assertive, something I find very appealing in her. I was rooting for her to keep going until she reached whatever goals she had set for herself. Unfortunately for her she got really sick at one point and all progress stopped. Then she held steady for a few months at a level a little higher than the weight she'd reached before she got sick. Now it's all back plus some extra. Over the holidays she informed me she was heavier than ever before. As much as I love what I have, beam with pride when we're in public together, enjoy what we have in our marriage, etc, I know she is unhappy and will again try to thin out. And when she's ready to get serious and do it, I'll be in her corner once again.

PS: The assertiveness she gained when she lost weight didn't go away with her subsequent regaining of weight, and with that a great degree of confidence, not so much in her body but in her position in our marriage. She doesn't order me around or keep me on a short leash; in fact she is incredibly pleasant and fun to be with. But she's definitely in charge and knows it. I love strong women so this is good news for me!
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