Thread: FFA question
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Old 02-23-2017, 10:22 PM   #25
ashblonde
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Join Date: May 2006
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Rabbit you said such nice things about my writing in the porn thread, so I'll dish.

I've experienced varying degrees of acceptance among friends, but I don't know if gender has made a difference. Reactions seem to vary more on what kind of person they are. I prefer non-judgey people in my life so mostly positive; except health concern trolling, but that quickly gets shut down. Little demon horns grow on my head when I hear the words 'his health' from someone who should worry more about how they conduct their own lives.

But sometimes I catch myself in a mindset that fat attraction is mainstream, and I'll make a pro-fat comment to a non-FFA friend that I would logically reserve for an FFA friend, because why not fat? It makes so much sense! Being in the arms of a big, soft, round guy? What is not to like about that?

As far as experiences with the BHM themselves... Skipping past the younger/college/grad years, I've have had two major relationships (co-habitation level of serious). The first/ex was a gorgeous big guy who had been told his whole life how perfect he'd be if he lost weight. He had significant body issues that in my naive, idealistic mind, hoped with my special FFA TLC magic he would relax over time. I had idealized a fulfilling physical relationship with a very big, very sweet BHM for so long, that I fell quickly/madly for him, but he wasn't ready for what I wanted. I had to be super careful about how I touched him, which frustrated both of us. I'm a pretty avid runner and I even began to lie about when or how much because I knew it made him depressed that he wasn't able to do things like that with me (which I'd NEVER expect, but he still felt that way). Enter lots of self-imposed 'thin privilege' guilt; who was I to put my selfish sexual needs ahead of his lifetime of baggage? He resented me for liking what he hated; we broke up, got back together, broke up, lather, rinse, repeat.

That finally ended when I moved away for work reasons. Then related to my new job, I met a big man who threw me for a wonderful loop. The first time I saw him walking past my office was very WOW. And right after WOW, my next thoughts were total fear that if I ever got him to go out with me, the same tragic cycle would repeat. Then I finally met him, and when he shook my hand I could already sense it in his grip, his smile, the confidence... this was a completely different man. Pretty quickly into dating he was like, 'wait, you're really into this bod? you sure? okay, well that's pretty awesome, lets enjoy it together,' which made our relationship easy to fall into, and ultimately it became a more permanent arrangement.

p.s. He did grow up fat too and isn't completely immune to societal pressure/baggage, but I think it helped that he comes from an wonderful, funny and supportive family that nurtured his gifts. At family gatherings I'm the one who ends up getting teased for my smaller size, but I'm lucky they just accept me as I am
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