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Old 03-03-2017, 05:37 PM   #1
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 297
TwoSwords knows EXACTLY what's going onTwoSwords knows EXACTLY what's going onTwoSwords knows EXACTLY what's going onTwoSwords knows EXACTLY what's going onTwoSwords knows EXACTLY what's going onTwoSwords knows EXACTLY what's going onTwoSwords knows EXACTLY what's going on
Default How/Why am I Expected to Hold it in?

I was just looking online for other FA-centric venues, and came across a piece about dating fat girls, which specifically says; step 1; don't mention her weight.

This is not news. I've seen many other people online talking about how they feel uncomfortable when people talk about their weight, or it kills the mood, or it's not romantic, or whatnot, and I'm sorry, but... How can anyone live like that? How can you legitimately spend time talking to a person you find attractive, and *intend* to be romantic, without expressing any of the romantic feelings that you have? Isn't that a bit like going to the beach, then just kind of hanging out by the snack bar and leaving? It's it like going to the Grand Canyon, just to study the geological formation of one rock that you found there? Isn't it like going to a nature trail, just to read the sign at the entrance?

We go to these places because they're beautiful, and we get to immerse ourselves in that beauty and be inspired by it. We don't go there to ignore their beauty and sit in a corner.

I don't want to sit down and shut up! I want to laugh, cry, write poems, sonnets, tales of greatness and wonder, whenever blessed beauty strikes my eye! I want to express each incredible sensation of childlike wonder, volatile passion and painful loss that floods my immortal soul! Why, there are days when I almost feel like I could live my life without beauty, if only I could share what I do experience with one other person; wholly and completely!

I know the methods I've been using to repress my emotions in the past. It's how I can do my job without exploding. However, I don't know how other people manage it. What cork could possibly be strong enough to keep this genie imprisoned? In order to be acceptable, am I expected to change the one thing I can't change? Am I expected to express feelings other than my own, in order to be liked? How could I? Why would such a thing be expected? Why would anyone expect that? I've never asked anyone to lie to me about how they feel.

Some days, the feelings are so strong, that I simply have to let them out, and I don't see how I could live my life like Henry Bemis, with only the companionship of wholly unsympathetic and critical ears whenever my real emotions surfaced.

Am I just getting the wrong impression? Is the internet just cherry-picking opinion pieces for me to dislike, or is there some secret method of control and repression that I haven't discovered?
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