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Old 03-03-2017, 08:38 PM   #8
happily_married
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Virginia
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TwoSwords View Post
I was just looking online for other FA-centric venues, and came across a piece about dating fat girls, which specifically says; step 1; don't mention her weight.
I think this is pretty good advice. At least at the start. If you are getting to know someone you really don't need to fixate on weight. For many women (and this is not limited to overweight women) weight is such a personal subject that if you go and blurt it out in the early stages of a relationship be prepared for her to cocoon. I learned this the hard way a few times in my early clumsy days as an FA. Thing is, you can express your appreciation for a woman's appearance easily enough without breeching this area and she'll figure out soon enough you like what you like. There are so many ways to do it without putting her on the defensive or making her suspicious.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristal View Post
I believe that you should love the person, not their fat.
I made a very similar statement to OP a couple weeks ago in response to how I was able to adjust my preferences when my wife loses weight.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TwoSwords View Post
No. I don't get it. In that case, I could either learn to like more things about myself, or just have an honest talk with her, and if I can't live with the wart thing, I could just tell her that. It seems like the whole problem could be handled quite effectively and quickly, so long as both people were willing to work at it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TwoSwords View Post
Then it's not possible for there to be a "should" with regard to that kind of love. "Should" implies "can," and human beings have no control whatsoever over what their feelings are. They only get to express them, or repress them.
You've contradicted yourself here. Either you can learn to like something and we DO have control over feelings or we have no control. Personally I believe we do have control, and those who exercise that control generally are far more able to adjust to society and the realities around them. People may have less ability to control their initial reaction to something, but we do possess the ability to think critically and change the way we see something. In answer to your initial question you have a certain feeling, a preference or attraction for "fat" but when you really get into it and think about SOMEONE ELSE you may conclude going straight there may alienate her and therefore change not the way you feel about your preference but the way you feel about expressing it.
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