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Old 03-04-2017, 05:39 AM   #12
happily_married
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TwoSwords View Post
We discussed this already. Just because you feel that you're able to do this, doesn't mean the same is true of everyone.
I think it's important to review what I said here. The bolded part is what prompted your reply:

Quote:
Originally Posted by happily_married View Post

Either you can learn to like something and we DO have control over feelings or we have no control. Personally I believe we do have control, and those who exercise that control generally are far more able to adjust to society and the realities around them.
Basically what I am saying here is we have the ability to exercise self control. I believe we all have this ability to some extent. You reply is going to miss the mark because it comments on my belief in self control (i.e. "...you feel you are able to..." and the idea that not it does not apply to everyone. But whether or not someone "feels they are able to" exercise self control, in this case over their emotions, society expects it of them. And it's really not an unreasonable expectation when you consider respect for others is the driving engine behind this expectation.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TwoSwords View Post
Oh, no question! However, this has absolutely no effect on how we feel, emotionally.
But it can and does. Emotional reaction may be a knee-jerk instinct but self control and rational thought step in and hopefully take control before decision time. Never make a decision (i.e. a decision to discuss a woman's weight) based on an emotional high or low. And I do think people have the ability to control emotional reaction, too. As a child did you ever spill a glass of water and react by breaking down and crying? My kids did. Now they don't. They've learned to control that emotional reaction and instead of crying about it they get a towel and clean it up. I wouldn't want to be anywhere near an adult who believes emotional reactions cannot be controlled because I'd expect a childish reaction to every little thing that didn't go his way. That's ridiculously unbecoming, but it's a logical endpoint to what you're suggesting.




Quote:
Originally Posted by TwoSwords View Post
When I say "I" or "me" in the opening post, I should have written "I and those like me." This isn't just about me. No problem is unique.
I get that, but everything we say to you applies across the board. Respecting others, self control, emotional maturity, the ability to control emotions in the interest of not hurting someone else...these are things that are good for others, not just you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TwoSwords View Post
Why would that concern me? No one's even gone to the trouble of trying to avoid alienating me, and I put up with it every day, from every angle, in every discussion and every piece of media I observe.
Speaking of emotional maturity, or a lack thereof...

I thought you wanted to express an appreciation for something, not alienate someone. If you are not worried about alienating someone as you express your appreciation for it then I'd suggest that's indicative of a deeper character flaw. I don't think you're a bad person though, so I hope you'll rethink this part of your response as you move through life.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TwoSwords View Post
This point, I have not conceded. If Shakespeare, Byron and Cummings are permitted to make and share beautiful works in praise of the kinds of beauty that they can appreciate, I see no reason why I can't do the same.
Then take up writing or art. That's actually a better venue for your expression anyway because it's not directed at any one person. Write about how much you like something about a certain type of woman and post it somewhere people will read it. If you can paint or sketch, do that. Plenty of people post that kind of stuff right here on Dims and I'm sure you'd find an eager audience for it.

That's a little different from going straight there with someone you're trying to meet, and I believe that was the context of your original question when you started the thread.
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