View Single Post
Old 03-04-2017, 08:45 AM   #14
happily_married
Happy to be part of Dims!
 
happily_married's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Virginia
Posts: 843
happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by TwoSwords View Post
Society expects a lot of things that aren't reasonable. Self control isn't one of them, but emotional control, outside of repression, would be, and yes, I phrased my reply that way because I still don't fully believe that you really have the ability to mold your emotions as you claim. I think there's some other explanation, but I don't know you well enough to determine what that is.
Are you using a general "you" or do you think I personally don't have the ability to mold my emotions the way I claim?

Quote:
Originally Posted by TwoSwords View Post
It's not my goal to alienate anyone. My goal is to find a venue to express this thing that's about to burst out of my chest like a chest-buster alien. I'm sick of being told I can't. If someone is alienated because they're not especially interested in what I have to say, then fine. I deal with that all the time. It's no big deal. If they're repulsed, or hurt because they feel alienated, then maybe they put too much stock in everyone being just like them, or maybe we should have some method of warning people about what hurts us as individuals, so that we can divide up into groups of people who can tolerate each other.
What you admire is something they may not like about themselves. Women want men who are attracted to them as a person. One thing I experienced in my years dating bigger women is many of them have had an encounter or two with guys who have a fat fetish and no woman wants to be the object of a guy's fetish. It's not about them "putting too much stock" into everyone being like them. It's about wanting to be wanted for who they are and treated like a normal woman. Drawing attention to her fatness, no matter how well meaning you may be, often has the opposite effect.


Quote:
Originally Posted by TwoSwords View Post
Character flaws are related to ethics, not aesthetics. Is it somehow unethical to crave fairness?
The response you gave in the context you gave it could be easily interpreted that you want to express your emotions even if it makes the person to whom you express them uneasy. That's a lack of tact and if you do it knowing it makes the other person uneasy or outright hurts them, I'd say it's definitely a character flaw.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TwoSwords View Post
Straight there? Certainly not. These are all "third date" topics, at the earliest. Still, it's important to get them settled early, or nothing further can be accomplished.
Third date? That's amusing. Try 7th or 8th year of being married. That's the kind of credibility you need to really be able to have these kinds of conversations without risking an embarrassing situation.
happily_married is offline