View Single Post
Old 03-07-2017, 06:08 PM   #39
TwoSwords
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 297
TwoSwords knows EXACTLY what's going onTwoSwords knows EXACTLY what's going onTwoSwords knows EXACTLY what's going onTwoSwords knows EXACTLY what's going onTwoSwords knows EXACTLY what's going onTwoSwords knows EXACTLY what's going onTwoSwords knows EXACTLY what's going on
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by fuelingfire View Post
There seems to be two topics here. 1. You want to be in a relationship. 2. You want to say how you feel about fat women.
The second as much as, if not more than the first.

Quote:
Originally Posted by fuelingfire View Post
I think this thread has talked about the second topic a great deal. The best complement you can give a woman (including fat women) is “You look beautiful!” There is no complement you can say that will top that, regardless of how you feel.
I've found "lovely" to have a sort of magic as well, but the problem with both words is that they're pseudonyms for what's really trying to get out. Also, I can't explain either one any further without revealing how I really feel, and we're back to square 1.

I'm not sure a pseudonym would work, in terms of expression. I've tried them a few times in the past, and I don't remember feeling any less stressed as a result.

Quote:
Originally Posted by fuelingfire View Post
Unfortunately, I don’t know what is happening that you have received strange looks from women. If you notice it again, take note of what events happened right before then. It is very important that you figure out what is causing this reaction.
You mean, try to find some common factor between the various instances, which might be causing them?

Quote:
Originally Posted by fuelingfire View Post
I don’t know your age. But I would ignore most FA experiences before that age of 18.
I was awkward before, during, and after that age, so I'm not too concerned by what happened back then. Still, if what you say is true, it's a shame I haven't kept in touch with anyone from those days.

Quote:
Originally Posted by fuelingfire View Post
Peers can be cruel, especially in high school. In high school I just wanted to fit in. I didn’t come out of the FA closet until about a year after high school.
I never really wanted to fit in, and I wanted to come out of the closet, but was too scared I'd be given detention or something (at first, I had no idea what was considered appropriate and what wasn't in a high school environment, so I kept to myself a lot.)

Quote:
Originally Posted by fuelingfire View Post
You might be building up women you know to much in your mind, creating stress.
Oh. No, I don't think that's the issue. I remember those women pretty well, and I remember their positive traits, and I remember their faults (they all had some of both, as I think nearly everyone does.) I remember a few being uncommonly pretty in my eyes, and I might be looking at that memory through rose-colored glasses, but those early sightings had a profound effect on my emotional development.

Quote:
Originally Posted by fuelingfire View Post
I would say, you should view rejection as fairly normal. No one is universally liked. If being rejected by someone is bothering you, this is the likely scenario.
I don't think you can blame me for doing whatever I can to try to minimize my chances of failure and disappointment. Like my feelings about beauty, my feelings about failure can be very strong and overpowering, but as I've said before, I have some practice at ignoring them. I can handle it. Rejection is only a problem insofar as it serves as a barrier that keeps me from the finish line, and I want to learn whatever I can to get around those barriers.

Quote:
Originally Posted by fuelingfire View Post
If you need to work on your flirting skills, I would advise you to try flirting with women you are not really interested in.
I've thought about this in the past. Genuine opportunities are rare, and it'd be nice to have a method ready, in case I happen to run into one all of a sudden.

Quote:
Originally Posted by fuelingfire View Post
There will be less stress, because you are not really loosing anything if the girl is not interested.
That might make things easier, though most of my stress comes from feelings I'm not expressing, rather than the pressure of the situation. In a real way, my feelings are a worse enemy to me than the entire world is.

Quote:
Originally Posted by fuelingfire View Post
Though I haven’t looked, I am sure youtube has a bunch of videos on how to flirt with women. That could give to tips to improve. I would say the most important are remember to smile, seem confident (practicing flirting a lot can help you actually be confident), and a proper amount of eye contact. It gets easier.
I've actually got a lot of that down already; especially with regards to the smile, the eye contact and the confidence. In fact, my impulse is to look into the eyes of most people automatically. Thanks for all the advice... man? Man, I guess. It's really cool, and I totally appreciate it. I don't know if it'll work, but I'll try to free up some time to look into all of this.
TwoSwords is offline