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Old 03-08-2017, 03:33 AM   #55
TwoSwords
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 334
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FreeThinker View Post
Of course, there were some relationships in which neither the word nor the sentiment were expressed. Did I feel stifled by this? No.

For me, having is more important than reiterating what I have. For me, mind you. This does not presuppose a higher level of maturity or moral fortitude (believe me), but just a difference.
Yes. This is a big difference between us.

Quote:
Originally Posted by FreeThinker View Post
Trust her not to hurt you.
In a certain sense, that boat has kind of sailed.

I mean, I want to trust someone again, which is why I'm still on the lookout for someone I can be open with, but this attitude of trust is not reconcilable with the view that rejection is normative, which I responded to just a bit ago.

Quote:
Originally Posted by FreeThinker View Post
Don't put her physicality first, conversationally.
Do you mean first in priority, or first in a timeline sense?

Quote:
Originally Posted by FreeThinker View Post
If you want her comfortable with you, be comfortable with her.
That's just the thing! I can't be comfortable! I can never be comfortable! Not until I can get this off my chest, and that's looking more and more unlikely with each passing day! I have literally no means of doing what you suggest!

Quote:
Originally Posted by FreeThinker View Post
Stop thinking of it as a finish line or a goal.
Umm... No. There's an opportunity I want. I don't have that opportunity. It is therefore a goal.

Quote:
Originally Posted by FreeThinker View Post
In early stages, though, you don't want to come across like that 'radical truth' guy on Lie To Me, so hang back. Truth is truth. It's not gone in a moment. There will be time to express it as the relationship develops.
Truth is everlasting and indelible. The risk is that I'll burst before my feelings become fully accepted.
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