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Old 03-08-2017, 06:39 PM   #70
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 414
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Originally Posted by Tracii View Post
I have to ask when you do get a girl to respond and talk to you do you all of a sudden go all in telling her everything about you?
I had a guy ask me out and I thought OK he is cute and chubby so maybe we will have a good time.
The first part of the date was OK then he got real persistent asking questions about sex and what I preferred.
I said look that is not something you ask on a first date.
He said well it was something he wanted to know I said look thats not appropriate at this time I barely know you.
He explained to me he thought being persistent is what women wanted and that they thought it was "cute" .
I've heard this rumor too, but I think it's a TV fiction.

Originally Posted by Tracii View Post
I said no its not cute and you act like you taking me out was a favor to me because I was fat and I probably couldn't get a date.
I suppose that's possible. It's also possible that (like me,) he either has a weak idea what's "appropriate," or just finds that the usual standards of "appropriateness" are virtually unworkable, and (unlike me,) isn't willing to investigate the concept any further (or get creative in finding other solutions) because of that.

Originally Posted by Tracii View Post
Moral of that story is he was overbearing and rude so please don't be that kind of guy.
I don't know for sure. I don't have a full transcript of what happened, but if all that happened was what you described, it sounds like he might have just been socially-incompetent. So was I. The only difference was that I'd had the seriousness of sex drilled into me from childhood, so I never considered it something with which to experiment socially.

Now that you've given me one of your stories, let me give you one of mine. It's shorter than the last one I gave, but in a way, it's had even more of an effect on me.

My first ever compliment to a girl outside of high school. She was pretty, and I said so. She argued against this, and I explained with the following words...

"Look, beauty isn't like a certain hair color, which you either have or don't have. Everyone is beautiful. It's just that no one can appreciate beauty of all types. You don't have to worry, because no matter what, there are always people who can appreciate your beauty."

Her response, in full...

"I hate people who like people like me."

The moral of the story; some people are mentally disturbed, so watch out for that.

In answer to your original question, though, if I ever found anyone, I think I'd probably start off by trying to learn as much as possible about her hobbies/interests, then see if she expressed a similar interest in my own interests, and if not, offer some information about hobbies of mine, or thereabouts. That's how I determine if a person is actually interested. From there, on to stage 2; sharing experiences of each others' interests. Again, willingness to reciprocate clears the road for stage 3; compliments. I've never gotten past that third stage, because no one ever wants to accept compliments, but I suppose minor physical contact (hand-holding and the like) would follow.
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