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Old 03-09-2017, 06:30 AM   #80
fuelingfire
 
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: wisconsin
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fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!fuelingfire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Imp View Post
It really is something.

Here a guy goes on a FA board, a place where his admiration is supposed to be accepted and encouraged, and he meets a wall of criticism and condemnation.

Oh, there's plenty of other advice on what to do and how to do it, which he also asked for. It's all offered in the vein of, "You don't know what the hell you're doing"--which admittedly he copped to some as well. That advice generally conforms to the almost completely unuseful truisms that he should be tactful and that if he isn't the other person might feel uncomfortable. Well, duh.

But the guy can't get any positive support for wanting to do nothing but extol someone for being beautiful and sexually appealing. No one even tells him the message that conceptually he should be able to, that there's nothing wrong with his preference, to embrace fat admiration.

And that *gasp* a woman should have the grace to accept admiration and not keep a man under the constant tyranny of her insecurities--and in the end stamp him and his admiration as deviant and oppressive.

Which is something he's suffered from most of his life.

Shame.

TwoSwords, the answer is, within the bounds of tact and reasonable consideration of another person, you should be able to. The people here should be encouraging you to, and should be holding women to a standard of reasonable grace, flexibility, openness and support for others, and acceptance, which are ideals that you'll find in the basic code of conduct for these boards.

Rather than chaining you to the whims of the FA-shaming ninnies.
He is not being FA-shamed. He is being given advice on how to give complements in a socially acceptable manner. You are assuming he knows the "the bounds of tact and reasonable consideration of another person." Twoswords, that is in no way meant as an insult. That is a large component of this entire discussion.

I think a lot of the responses have been from seasoned FAs. He doesn't have to listen to us. This advice is being given in the hopes of making, what he wants to do, easier on himself.
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