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Old 03-09-2017, 03:33 PM   #85
TwoSwords
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 294
TwoSwords knows EXACTLY what's going onTwoSwords knows EXACTLY what's going onTwoSwords knows EXACTLY what's going onTwoSwords knows EXACTLY what's going onTwoSwords knows EXACTLY what's going onTwoSwords knows EXACTLY what's going onTwoSwords knows EXACTLY what's going on
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Originally Posted by happily_married View Post
That would be nice, wouldn't it? Rumsfeld once said, "You go to war with the army you have, not the army you wish you had." Likewise I give my advice based on the reality I've experienced, not the reality I wish I've experienced. It seems reasonable to expect some degree of grace in accepting a compliment but for many reasons this is very difficult for a lot of women. Sometimes it's just uncertainty on their end and in some cases it's their own experiences telling them to be defensive. Whatever their rationale, it's real to them, and therefore it's important to recognize this and know a well meaning compliment may not always be taken at face value.

It would be nice if it was, but I've lived my whole life in a reality where that is just not the case.
It is important to understand your options. That way, you can (to use the army example,) send rations, fuel and ammunition where they're likely to be needed, and plan troop deployments without being distracted.

In my case, though, changing the nature of my feelings has always been a non-option, and expressing them at a small intensity (for long periods,) or not at all have always been non-options. I have other options, if I don't find any in this discussion (I'm creative and have a good imagination,) but that's a topic for another discussion. I'm not going to assume things are that bad until I'm sure it's true.

I will say this; I and those like me are faced with a situation now, where willing ears are at an extremely high premium. There's not a lot of competition, and that's a situation that's begging to be taken advantage of by anyone who's up to the task. Anything that I do, which can serve as an alternate solution to my problem would also have the effect of drastically reducing that premium, and removing the opportunity for profit. That's why I'd rather find a real solution. (Sorry for being vague on this point, but I'm only in the planning stages of a project related to this, so I don't have many specifics to offer, and depending on what I discover here, I may or may not even finish it at all.)
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