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Old 03-09-2017, 08:57 PM   #89
Imp
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
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Quote:
Originally Posted by happily_married View Post
That would be nice, wouldn't it? Rumsfeld once said, "You go to war with the army you have, not the army you wish you had." Likewise I give my advice based on the reality I've experienced, not the reality I wish I've experienced. It seems reasonable to expect some degree of grace in accepting a compliment but for many reasons this is very difficult for a lot of women. Sometimes it's just uncertainty on their end and in some cases it's their own experiences telling them to be defensive. Whatever their rationale, it's real to them, and therefore it's important to recognize this and know a well meaning compliment may not always be taken at face value.

It would be nice if it was, but I've lived my whole life in a reality where that is just not the case.
I don't think any of that replaces the importance of upholding a culture that holds people to a standard of graciousness and that expects people to eventually mature. If you want to cross the bridge, you have to pay the toll. That doesn't make the destination worth it.
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