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Old 05-16-2017, 03:44 PM   #3
djudex
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 1,356
djudex has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!djudex has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!djudex has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!djudex has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!djudex has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!djudex has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!djudex has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!djudex has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!djudex has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!djudex has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!djudex has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by squarebrickjaw View Post
Are any of you able to share what journey you had, if any, to get to a point where you're comfortable with sharing pictures of your body here?

I found this place by going down a rabbit hole that started with "Hey maybe losing weight isn't gonna fix shit unless I'm happy with myself to begin with." That led me to start reading up on fat acceptance, which led to the discovery that BHMs/FFAs are a thing, which ultimately led me to this forum.

Accepting myself and my size has been a lifelong fight, and I always believed that the women in my life were attracted to me in-spite-of my weight/size/body, and were just so happy/relieved with my personality that they could ignore my body in favor of that.

I'm currently in an ethically-non-monogamous relationship with my partner ('cause we both agree that there's just so much damn pretty in the world to limit yourself to just one person), and she has always been intense and loud about how she really truly finds my body to be sexy, and isn't with me in-spite-of anything, and that she's positive that the women who show interest in me feel the same. She constantly tells me that I'm the full package in every way, and I 100% believe her but I also 100% do not understand it. I just kinda count myself lucky as hell on that one, but I'm learning to get over it slowly.

A big part of this was depression, which I've gotten under some control over the past year with a good doctor and good meds. A lot of this past year has been full of surprising ups, like recognizing that maybe my negative self-image is just so intensely strong that I've lost all proper perspective on how I actually appear to the opposite sex (or to the same sex and anyone on the gender spectrum; I swing straight but I'm not a Kinsey 0 by any stretch of the imagination).

I'm on an upswing but I'm not quite there yet, or at least not quite when it comes to showing a bunch of skin. My partner has offered to take photos of me in the poses/places that she finds me to be the sexiest, but I'm still a little uncomfortable with it. I'd be really interested to hear what got any of you to that comfort zone, 'cause I think it's really brave and amazing that you're able to do this sort of thing, and I'd like to be one of those guys sooner rather than later.
Honestly a big part of it is coming to accept that most people don't find you sexually attractive, including yourself, and that that is okay. Part of the problem, for me at least, is that what I find sexy isn't what I am. I myself enjoy a wide spectrum of the female form but as a general rule I go for the pixie/waif body type and as a 6'7, 476 lbs. man that's about as polar opposite as it gets. For a long time I couldn't understand why anyone would find me attractive because I don't find fat attractive.

Then I realized something.

I have a dick. I don't find those attractive either....why am I beating myself up over being fat because most people don't find it attractive? I knew there were FFAs out there, I just had to find the right one and be the best me I could be when I did find her (hi rabbit!).

Focus on making yourself the best person you can be from the inside and keep your eye out for opportunity and you'll be ready to grab that brass ring when your horse swings by.
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