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Old 05-20-2017, 06:20 AM   #34
Tad
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada
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FF, I think you are vigorously assaulting a windmill here, no matter how many people point out that it is not actually an evil giant.

Are there abusive relationships? Certainly. Might some of those mask themselves as sub/dom situations? Almost certainly. Perhaps you have been privy to one, and seen the damage that can be done?

This isn't at all my thing, and I worry that some people who advertise themselves as dominants may in fact be abusers in waiting -- much as I worry about some who advertise themselves as feeders for the same reason.

But pain is not always bad, power transfers are a part of life and relationships in various forms and degrees, pushing limits can be growth, and doing things under formal agreement with clear consent and checks and discussion is almost always better than letting things informally bleed into your life.

Such things may not be for you, but there are people who have safe, loving, caring, strong relationships who very much enjoy having this as part of that relationship. Telling them that somehow you know more about their life and relationship than they do is condescending, patronizing, and rude.

If you wish to continue the discussion, perhaps explain where your beliefs on this are coming from, rather than just repeating the same dogma over and over. After all, this isn't The Soap Box, so the expectation of actual discussion is a lot higher.
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