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Old 05-21-2017, 09:56 AM   #80
biggirlluvher
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Montreal, Quebec
Posts: 126
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Outside of being a member of bbw/ssbbw/feeder/feedee groups and sites like this, I've never outright told anyone really close to me that I wanted to gain.

When I was a teen, I was told by a family friend close-enough-to-be-family that I needed to "bulk up". I had a big appetite with an even faster metabolism. I was very self-conscious then and for most of my 20s. I kinda figured that others felt the same way about me that he did. I saw myself as weak compared to the other guys around me because I was so thin. I always had the model of weightlifters/bodybuilders and the strongest/most muscular WWE wrestlers in my mind and pursued that image for myself...minus the steroids. I ended up discovering that I can bulk up very easily, to the surprise of many, and that I was physically stronger than I thought. As I got bigger, my capacity to eat more increased too which was also a revelation. I always had 250lbs as my goal weight and managed to reach it over time through the eating and weight lifting. Our family eye doctor, who was himself heavier, cautioned me years ago to lose weight.

Fast forward to now that I'm at my heaviest, a family member after not having seen me in years called me "fat like my father" and another keeps trying to offer "subtle" diet/food tips whenever they see me.

After reaching 250lbs, which I thought was impossible until I discovered this site and that I did have it in me to get as heavy as I wanted, I've been on the fence as to whether or not I want to gain to 300lbs. I kinda had it in my mind that I might only do that only if I'm in a relationship with a fellow gainer/feedee/ssbbw.

A longtime friend, who was the biggest eater among my friends, I was 2nd, was bigger than me until I had started going to the gym in my 20s. Earlier this year, I saw him for the first time in about a year and he was 50-60lbs lighter. He claimed he entered a weight loss challenge at his work for a contest prize. Last night, he showed me a picture of himself at around 230lbs and asked if I remember him looking like that. I did. He said he had been yoyo-ing all his life and never had a comfortable weight. He said as you get older you have to take care of yourself but he was considering gaining back weight to return to over 200lbs. I told him that I had steadily gained over the years unlike him. He asked me my waist size and I told him 40".

Neither he, my friends nor my family know that I'm inclined to get as heavy as 300lbs and have a waistline larger than 40". They also don't know that I seek a relationship with a woman that is very heavy or may even want to be heavier. I haven't been so forthcoming with people. Maybe I should do so to shut them up once and for all. However, it could open a line of debate that I'd almost rather not have. I think only if my back was against the wall so to speak would I state that I was gaining. I'd sooner express those gainer thoughts with one who I'm in a relationship with. I've been more forthcoming here than irl because it's one of the few places where the many aspects of weight gain is discussed and by people who understand/share the thoughts I do.
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