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Old 05-28-2017, 01:22 AM   #18
plushkitty
 
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Ventura County, CA
Posts: 145
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I remember being fascinated with big bellies from an early age, stuffing pillows under my nightgown at night to try and make one for myself. But as I grew older and internalized more and more fat hate, I suppressed my attraction. Why was I so attracted to "ugly" bodies? Clearly there was something wrong with me!

It's taken a long time to acknowledge that part of myself, even longer to accept the fact that my own weight gain excites me as much as other people's gain. That I really do want a huge belly that fills up my lap. I probably won't get one for a while, replacing clothes and buying lots of food costs money, but at least now I can dream without feeling horrible.
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