View Single Post
Old 07-09-2017, 02:44 AM   #26
TwoSwords
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 334
TwoSwords never has a post go unnoticedTwoSwords never has a post go unnoticedTwoSwords never has a post go unnoticedTwoSwords never has a post go unnoticedTwoSwords never has a post go unnoticedTwoSwords never has a post go unnoticedTwoSwords never has a post go unnoticed
Default

The first signs of this came, I'm told, when I was 4 or so, and I demonstrated signs of being drawn to softer people, or even just people in softer outfits. Even from that age, it was the softness that drew me in, and to this day, it's still that softness that I love most, so I don't think of gaining as being all that important, when a person is already large and soft enough.

That said, there are many situations where I've seen a person on the street, or while shopping, and thought to myself, "she'd be so much cuter if she were fatter."

I remember taking an interest in heavier girls during early elementary school, but never trying to pursue it much. In third grade, I began to identify these feelings more strongly, when I had a teacher who could fill the whole classroom door on her way through, from side to side. In high school, there was one student who was at least twice my weight, if not more, and who I was so nervous to talk to or get close to, because I wasn't sure whether it was appropriate. We were very different from each other, as people, and never really hit it off, but I learned a boldness from my experiences with her, which lead into my more recent experiences.

At one of my early temp jobs, there was a girl who was almost as big as my high school crush. She actually did get very close to me once, and it was probably the most intense, emotional experience of my life, but it clearly meant a lot less to her than to me, and she didn't seem to share my feelings, or sympathize with them, and she started losing weight, so it never could have worked.

Finally, that brings me to the place I work now, which has so many BBWs working there... all of whom are married. Still, it's an opportunity to practice normal interactions, which I don't otherwise find to produce rewarding emotions. However, I was about to go nuts for a while there, when one of them had to sit next to me for a while, to teach me the ropes. I eventually had to gain weight myself, just to give myself a soft upper arm to squeeze, and keep my emotions under control. I've never regretted that choice, though. Being fat is just so much more enjoyable.
TwoSwords is offline   Reply With Quote