Thread: I can't commit!
View Single Post
Old 08-02-2017, 02:56 PM   #5
LJ Rock
 
LJ Rock's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Boston
Posts: 3,172
LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

First of all, I am sorry to hear of the bad luck and heartache you've been through in your past four relationships. We've all been there at sometime or another and I know it's hard.

Based on what you've said I would say that you have a trust issue more than a commitment issue. Your trust has been violated numerous times, making hard for you to trust someone fully and completely enough to have a true sense of emotional intimacy, thereby making it seem impossible to commit to them fully.

Have you ever asked yourself why you ended up in these bad relationships? There comes a point where we can see a pattern develop in the choices we make, and it's up to us to start making different choices. The people we choose to spend time with and give our trust to is entirely up to us and is almost never accidental. There are reasons why we are attracted to the people to whom we are, good bad or otherwise. When we see red flags, things that make you question someone's integrity or trustworthiness, then it's best we sidestep that person altogether. It may seem to go against our primary instincts at first, but it gets easier.

My advice would be that the next time you meet someone that you like, take it very slow. Really get to know them well before you rush into any kind of commitment. By all means, talk to other men - as many as you'd like. If the man you truly desire desires you equally as much he will understand and he will give you the time and space you need to build trust. The moment you feel that you are giving more than you are getting, that's the moment to break out before you get hurt. But when you feel that you are with someone with whom you can truly be yourself and trust implicitly, then I suspect your interest in chatting with other men will quickly subside.

Taking your time and communication are the key. Good luck!
__________________
Peace and love,
LJ Rock
LJ Rock is online now   Reply With Quote