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Old 09-18-2017, 07:47 AM   #19
Lastminute.Tom
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Location: 'Ampshire
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the more people keep secrets from the people they are around all the time the more the relationship becomes built of barriers, then when something shakes you up when you get scared or angry and if it happens to both of you the truth comes out.
I'm guessing the reason you haven't told her is because you're afraid of loosing her/ hurting her which I can fully understand its the only reason I've kept secrets but then when you can finally share them the liberation you will feel is amazing, I'm not saying you should drop a truth bomb on her, I say romance her, write down what you're going to say first so if you panic you can just ask her to read your letter, get good at giving foot rubs and massages because this helps you stay in "rest and digest" mode instead of "fight or flight"

she may react poorly at first but that isn't her, that's the conditioning of the media, her parents everything that's told her that self worth comes from not being fat.

you posted this thread so I'm fairly certain you know that it's the right thing to do and I don't want to be too brutal but if you're relationship can't survive the truth being told then is it really a relationship worth staying in? surely she'd want you to respect her enough to tell her how you feel.

I know its hard because everything's told you to feel shame at being attracted to fat people, maybe you were attracted to fat people all along but you buried you're young lust so deep it only came out when it was ok, i.e. when the woman you love embodied your buried lust, this is purely conjecture but as someone who spent a year with a fat partner before I was able to tell her I was attracted to her fat I know the truth will set you free Tim x

I also advise you to find an open mic night and pour some of your feelings out into poetry maximum catharsis brother
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