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Old 09-26-2017, 03:03 PM   #128
TwoSwords
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 334
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Quote:
Originally Posted by loopytheone View Post
As for the example you've given of a woman wanting to touch your belly, bear in mind that your reaction applies to you as an individual and not all fat men in general. You must have noticed by now that, even on a site like this, you are happier being fat and see fatness as a stronger positive than most people. I can assure you as an FFA that most fat men would not react to that situation anything like you would. There's a very large amount of fat men that are ashamed of their size and get angry/upset/uncomfortable if it is mentioned or touched, even in a positive way. Perhaps men tend to be less open about how they feel about themselves in public, and that's why it isn't noticed as much. But I'm positive that every FFA on this site has had the experience of being with a fat man that is ashamed to some degree of their weight.
I know. That wasn't really my point. I was only using that as an example of what I meant. However, as a thought experiment, it's not very precise, so let's use a different example. Kissing while hanging upside-down like Spider-man. Say two people were in the relationship for a while, and the girl says she thinks it's totally the only romantic way to kiss. The guy might totally humor her, even if he thinks she's a little strange. The same is not true the other way around.

My point was just that there is a difference between the experiences of FAs and FFAs, favoring FFAs as a result of the greater willingness of men to accept "weird stuff" from their partner, which, by accepting the order that fatgrllvr put forth, you seem to acknowledge.

Quote:
Originally Posted by loopytheone View Post
In the example of a stranger asking to touch me, I'd be seriously freaked out. Firstly because I don't like to be touched by strangers (its an invasion of my personal space) and secondly because women are conditioned to be naturally afraid/wary of strangers. This especially applies to a situation where the stranger could over power us, and we are also taught that if we let strange men touch us, we are asking to get raped or followed or stalked.
Of course. You need to know you can trust the person first. I get that. The only thing here I'm a little foggy on is what it would be like to desire personal space. To me, personal space has always been a purely mental thing, when there are times that I don't want to be distracted from my thoughts, but I don't really know what it's like to want other people to back away from me, unless I have very good reasons to think they're carrying a weapon of some kind.

Quote:
Originally Posted by loopytheone View Post
I think you're underestimating the amount of wariness that most women have towards men. You might trust an acquaintance to touch you, but for women, we are more likely to be raped by a person we know than by a complete stranger. You have to be far, far higher on the tier of friendship/trust before most women would be comfortable being touched by you. And then, it also depends on the person. From the sounds of it you are a fairly tactile person that doesn't mind being touched. I'm the opposite; I wouldn't let a member of my family or my best friend touch my torso or thighs simply because I don't like being touched by anyone.
You use the words "fairly tactile" to describe me. That's halfway right. I'm almost totally tactile. Apart from physical proximity and the occasional compliment on something I've done or achieved, physical contact is just about the only form of affection I can really appreciate, and no, I don't mean it in that kind of way. I mean pats on the shoulders, the arms, the head... You know. Contact. I react to such contact a good deal more and better than any house cat I've ever seen, so when women complain "we're not pets. Don't touch us," I just can't even conceptualize what that kind of feeling would be like. What's worse is that it seems like a lot more people are developing in your way, rather than mine, meaning that I need to search harder and harder to find the affection and affirmation that I need.

Harry Frederick Harlow's experiments showed the essential importance of appreciable, social contact, over and above the animal desire to survive in rhesus monkeys, and although I'm not a monkey, and have the ability to suppress my emotions, nonetheless, my life of almost total tactile isolation has been tortuous in the extreme, and I often wonder if it's even worth going to work for another day, just so I can prolong it. Don't get me wrong. I have no intention of endangering my own survival. It's just my feelings on this point are very powerful, and cause me almost nothing but pain, because of how the social situation is right now.

Quote:
Originally Posted by loopytheone View Post
As for the FFA thing, I would have though that you'd be looking for a fat FFA?
Yes, in an ideal situation, but my point is that I think a thin FFA would at least understand my feelings on all this, and wouldn't try to condemn me just for feeling the way I feel (without being a hypocrite, anyway.)

Quote:
Originally Posted by loopytheone View Post
It reminds me of something Tad said once, about there being different aspects to being an FA. I can't remember exactly what he said, but what I remember is that there are at least two aspects to being an FA; liking your own fat and liking fat on others.
To me, he listed three types of Fat Admiration. Liking fat on potential mates, on non-potential mates and on yourself. I fall into all three categories, because I think anything (men, women, dogs, snowmen, potato-heads, etc,) look better fat than thin. I would only draw the line somewhere in "roads" territory.

Quote:
Originally Posted by loopytheone View Post
As a fat FFA who's only ever been in serious relationships with other fat FAs, I can assure you it does happen and is definitely what I would advise looking for.
I think we're on the same page here.
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