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Old 01-11-2018, 05:37 AM   #1
Fumblenrumbles
 
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Knoxville
Posts: 1
Fumblenrumbles has said some nice things
Default Feeds is ruining my relationship..

Am I wrong? What do I do?
Met gf online. She is a ssbbw, I am a thin man which is typically not her type. Whatever, that's fine as our sexually is more than compatible.

Fast forward after dating for some time, I relocate in the country so we can be together. Things are going great, however she begins to experience some health issues related to the heart. She suggests and I agree it's best if we stop her gaining.

After some time, she makes lots of comments about my size and how much I eat, not terribly mean but gets really pissy if I don't eat enough. Naturally, I am not interested in being a feedee but in an attempt to keep our sex life going I give gaining a serious consideration.

I decide to try to gain, hopefully no more than 50 lbs to satisfy her. I have stomach issues, so we decide shakes are the best way to go about it. I gained rather quickly and to this day its about 80 lbs. Around the 50 lb mark, I start feeling the effects and am not enjoying the sluggish feeling after being pretty thin naturally.

I talk to her about these feelings but she just gets angry and tells me we have to break up if I don't want to drink them anymore. She is obsessed with them. She calculates all my "caloric needs" to maintain and makes me drink a shake every day, if I don't she refuses to leave me alone and starts a huge blow out fight. Controls most of the food I eat and it's killing me.

I tell her perhaps we would be better seeing other people, as we are not on the same page about this and I do not want to be forced into a lifestyle that makes me miserable and causes resentment. She tells me if I lose weight, I will be so ugly and unattractive with excess skin and nobody will want me. I've stayed in this relationship because I feel so depressed and self conscious and according to her, "made a promise" and I need to follow through. I feel sorry for suggesting this in the first place and getting her hopes up, but this lack of freedom as an adult is seriously making my depression much worse and my anxiety is through the roof.

Am I wrong for wanting out? I recognize in hindsight I should've never agreed to something I didn't have my heart into. But I loved her, and wanted to make her happy, especially considering I have relocated my life, changed jobs, and moved away from family.

I feel like this is a consent issue and a form of mental abuse within my relationship. Everyone has preferences, but if she loved me before when I was thin, shouldn't she stay by me when I'm smaller too after losing? If not, why berate me and make my self esteem worse?

In regards to her health issues, I have taken a lot of time to consider my feelings, being a bbw lover, and I know I would stay with her if she lost weight and do my damnest to not let it ruin us.

Help!!!
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