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katystc · 01-21-2008, 09:25 PM

Hi everybody... its been awhile since i have been to the dimensions site! Nice to be back. I have enjoyed reading, and learned a lot from, these posts about my story. I certainly regret making the impression that all men who are attracted to big women are kooks. No way. I did say in my story that I met a lot of guys when i weighed 360, and had more sex than I had at 160... but I suppose the implication that not all of those guys were nutso didn't translate. I included the stories I did because A. they were funny, in retrospect; and B. they did really chip away at my self esteem. I have seen a few women post on here in repsponse to the story who understand what I am talking about. You spend so much time, as a big woman, trying to fit in, trying to let the world see the you that you see, trying to feel sexy, and then all it takes is one weirdo FA to make you feel, deep down, that yes, you are a freak. I am just being honest. It makes me mad that this is the experience of some of us.

For those of you who are FAs and do not fit that category, I want to say thank you. Thank you for finding me beautiful, listening to me, and even at times falling in love. I remember one guy, who i really loved, said to me, "Katy, I would love you even if you were thin." This was so amazing to hear. So, yes, you are not all gnomes, not by far.

I'm not sure how many of you who posted actually read the whole story. It's certainly open to criticism! There are a lot of things I would do differently if I had had more space. They wanted me to compact an entire life in 5000 words... anyway... It sounds trite, but I was trying to convey my sisterhood with big women; i do still feel like a sell-out of sorts. I think that big women (and men...I have always been attracted to big men) are beautiful. I did something that was right for me, after a lifetime of anorexia, bulimia, and extreme obesity. I now live a life where food is not the center of my world. I have been liberated from food, not from my fatness. It was the liberation from the addictions, etc that i wanted, and damnit, no one can tell me that i made the wrong decision for myself. It was my decision.

Anyway, thank you for giving me this space, and I look forward to your responses, if you have any!

Yours,
Katy St. Clair

01-21-2008, 09:25 PM	#493
katystc Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 1	Hello From the Author of this story...My Body MySelf Hi everybody... its been awhile since i have been to the dimensions site! Nice to be back. I have enjoyed reading, and learned a lot from, these posts about my story. I certainly regret making the impression that all men who are attracted to big women are kooks. No way. I did say in my story that I met a lot of guys when i weighed 360, and had more sex than I had at 160... but I suppose the implication that not all of those guys were nutso didn't translate. I included the stories I did because A. they were funny, in retrospect; and B. they did really chip away at my self esteem. I have seen a few women post on here in repsponse to the story who understand what I am talking about. You spend so much time, as a big woman, trying to fit in, trying to let the world see the you that you see, trying to feel sexy, and then all it takes is one weirdo FA to make you feel, deep down, that yes, you are a freak. I am just being honest. It makes me mad that this is the experience of some of us. For those of you who are FAs and do not fit that category, I want to say thank you. Thank you for finding me beautiful, listening to me, and even at times falling in love. I remember one guy, who i really loved, said to me, "Katy, I would love you even if you were thin." This was so amazing to hear. So, yes, you are not all gnomes, not by far. I'm not sure how many of you who posted actually read the whole story. It's certainly open to criticism! There are a lot of things I would do differently if I had had more space. They wanted me to compact an entire life in 5000 words... anyway... It sounds trite, but I was trying to convey my sisterhood with big women; i do still feel like a sell-out of sorts. I think that big women (and men...I have always been attracted to big men) are beautiful. I did something that was right for me, after a lifetime of anorexia, bulimia, and extreme obesity. I now live a life where food is not the center of my world. I have been liberated from food, not from my fatness. It was the liberation from the addictions, etc that i wanted, and damnit, no one can tell me that i made the wrong decision for myself. It was my decision. Anyway, thank you for giving me this space, and I look forward to your responses, if you have any! Yours, Katy St. Clair