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Old 04-26-2008, 10:30 AM   #24
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I think that this thread can totally turn into something that can be very informative if it remains openminded and allows for the fact that sometimes things need to actually be put into action for some people to figure out how they work.

I personally don't think that just because a guy hasn't figured out all of the details of dating an SSBBW, that he isn't willing to learn.

Some things my husband had already thought about when dating a large woman and some things were learn as you go. We have been together for almost 18 years and he still "forgets" certain things. So, as an openminded friendly gesture to any person who may want some tips, here are just a few.


- Seating is VERY important. It should be armless and/or roomy. Sturdy and comfortable. If you are going to an event or place that you are not sure about, call ahead. She will appreciate it.

- Aisles - sometimes they are just too small. And these include the spaces between tables at a restaurant. Again, visit ahead or call. And going somewhere tried and true is usually best.

- Walking long distances, for some, it is just not going to happen (like me). Bring her to the door and then park the car or accomodate in some other fashion. Keep in mind, she will not want to be left at the door for long, so quick foot it back or make sure there is an available bench outside.

- Consider taking a scenic drive as an alternative. Some of the best times that I have had with my husband are when we choose a location, not too far away, and drive there. We look around, find a nice spot to get out or just stay in the car and possibly catch the sunset.

- Keep a folding, sturdy chair in your trunk for moments that require a seat and one is not available. Maybe at a park or somewhere else along the way.

- Communicate with your gal. Tell her that you are interested in making her feel comfortable and safe at all times. Ask her if there is anything specific that she would like. Maybe you cannot do it at that moment, but you can plan it for the future. Believe me, listening to what your girl wants and then providing it in the future works for ALL men.

- Food. This is a tricky subject. You want to be able to express to her that she should feel comfortable having whatever and how much she wants. Unless you have started this relationship with food as your main objective, I think this may be one of the most difficult situations. This is sort of an individual thing, but also a great way to get closer to someone. Anytime you are in a relationship and try to please someone and make them feel comfortable, it usually works to bring the two people closer. My suggestion would be that you don't bring TOO much attention to the situation but make a general statement that appetites are good, or the food here is great, let US enjoy it. And for me personally, hubby always got major points for bringing me treats since I LOVE food and have a sweet tooth.

- Home furniture - keep in mind that your lady may need assistance getting off that sofa that has sucked her in. Be ready to offer a helping hand.

- Temperature - I am usually hotter than others I am with. So, if she seems hot, she is. Turn on the a/c, the fan, whatever. She will not want to perspire in front of you, but onto the next thing -

- Sweat - women do it. Most large women do it. It is natural and it is going to happen. Also, she will probably be trying to impress you with her hair and clothes and be anxious. Keep the temp. cool.

- Time - I personally take longer to do the average things required. Be patient and accomodate for the add'l time required.

- Stairs - I LOVE Florida because there are not many stairs. However, in most places there are. If at all possible, limit the amount of stairs she will need to walk, or better yet, see if there is an elevator she (and you) can use instead. Or, be considerate if she needs to take them slow or is hesitant about being in a crowd while using them.

- Elevators, if you are going on an elevator together, she may choose to take the next one if it already seems a bit crowded, don't push her, physically or verbally to use THAT one. The next one will come along soon enough. While you are waiting may be a good time to give a great smile, squeeze her hand or catch a smooch.

- What I call, I will wait in the car. If you need to "run in" somewhere, like to pick up liquor, a movie, the takeout food, she may be more inclined to WAIT IN THE CAR. Some will, some won't, again, communicate. If she is not going to enjoy getting in and out of the car and/or enjoy going in the place, for me it's like, why bother. That is just one of the benefits of having a willing and knowledgeable FA by my side.

These suggestions are just that. And they are things that pertain to me and may not all pertain to the woman in your life. I do believe that any person who is starting a relationship or continuing in one will benefit from the two most important things - communication and consideration.

If I haven't bored you all and I think of anything else, I will post more later. To the ladies, I hope that nothing I have posted seems insulting or derogatory. To me, these are only facts of life and if someone has the right intentions then I am willing to share.

September 21st is United Nations International Peace One Day, please join me in celebrating, creating and making peace in the world.
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