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Old 04-26-2008, 10:42 AM   #28
activistfatgirl
donuts at the finish line
 
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: Boston
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This thread hits a bit home at the moment after an altercation with a long-time FA friend of mine last night. He drives a Jeep Cherokee that doesn't have long enough seat belts for me to buckle up. So, I just drive with him unbuckled and it makes me very uncomfortable. I'll suffer this in exchange for his commitment to driving slower (makes sense in my head). Last night after I asked him to slow down he did some of those fake out quick turns on the freeway going 70 miles an hour and I was upset. He didn't get it - it's all goes back to feeling like someone who ought to care about you, and certainly enjoys the fat, not understanding that you simply don't fit into their life and it's more than an inconvenience, it can feel more like a slap in the face.

It's a dance sometimes. I'd never demand this person get extenders because we're not together officially. However...if we were...you bet. I'd be willing to split costs or buy them myself, but I think if he was uncomfortable or unwilling that I use them, it's a dealbreaker.

I've never dated anyone, honestly, that's actually been aware of space needs like seating or as Ruby said, wouldn't hesitate to walk through a crowded restaurant w/ tiny spaces between seats. I'm okay with being my own needs-checker, but it would be the difference between a real Keeper and just someone I date. Someone that cared about those things and helped me navigate the world would be partner material. You know what I mean?
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