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Old 05-05-2008, 11:30 AM   #18
Tad
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 12,526
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Dimensions, as a whole, means a lot to me in all sorts of ways. The BHM/FFA board also has some special meaning to me, but for me it is a much more limited thing.

It gets complex for me, because Iím simultaneously someone who: is attracted to fat people, has general warm fuzzy feelings about fat people, is somewhere on the scale of chubby to fat, has always felt like he was a fat person, has always felt like he was meant to be a fat person, is turned on by weight gain in myself and others, loves food, and is married to a smallish-BBW but not an admirer of fat.

Overall, Dimensions has been an oasis in my life, the place I come to relax and to revel in my fat preferences, where I can talk with others who like fat or like being fat or who are fat and would like to like or at least accept being fat. It has helped me understand my preferences, and what other people will grasp and what they wonít, and helped me grapple with some of my moral issues with being an FA. It also gives me a place where I can safely be an FA and express my appreciation for fat women, something that can be a bit fraught for me in regular life due to my wifeís feelings.

Out of all of the fat facets I have, only being chubby-to-fat really pushes me to this board. Having always felt like a fat person and always having felt like I was meant to be a fat person sort of push me this way too, but at the same time those issues are not so gender specific, they are feelings towards fat and about identity that are not really all that BHM related. Having warm and fuzzy feelings towards fat doesnít hurt my coming here, even if I were thin I might have dropped in occasionally just to lend moral support. Being married to a non-FA, in some ways says I should stay away from this board: maybe it would be easier to see myself through her eyes if I wasnít seeing BHM through FFA eyes at times. In other words, my motivation for coming to this specific board is more limited than my reasons for coming to Dimensions as a whole.

As to what this board means to me, as much as anything I find it to be a calm oasis. There does not seem to be as many emotional tempests, trollings, and emotional high-wire acts on this board. It feels a bit like going to a cinema on a hot and sticky summer day, where what is showing might be secondary to simply having somewhere cool and calm to relax for a couple of hours. What is showing may be secondary, but I still pay attention, and care, and hope that it is good.

I totally recognize that a lot of other people will have much stronger attachments to this board, and that for a lot of BHM and FFA this will be the primary place where they can explore or express their sexuality. I expect this board to mean quite a lot to many of the posters. Iím just being honest that to me it is nice, but kind of secondary to the general fat acceptance oasis that is Dimensions.
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