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Old 10-09-2008, 05:53 PM   #64
ashmamma84
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Originally Posted by mergirl View Post
hmm..its amazing how gender identity and sexuality mingle so and that there are so many constraints placed on these terms by society or by the individual.
I dont identify as "butch" or "femme". When i was younger i played around with these roles though, i guess to find something i was comfortable in; i used to wear a suit to school, i had a skinhead, mohawk, big boots etc.. I remember being called "son" a lot when i was younger. I wouldnt really ever "Butch up" except for in a roleplay situation as its not my normal attire. My girlfriend would REALLY be classed as a "femme" Because of what she wears, the way she acts, her obsession with hair products etc..lol.. Though do these terms "butch" and "femme" really have much relivence in todays queer comunity? or are they just the last crumbling reminants of a type of "identification" and labling system from the past? Maby Butch and Femme are sexualities within themselves. I think its strange that your friend said "who would fuck who?" Because i have always thought in a certain way that power lies in the feminine whether that is in a hetro couple or in a gay relationship. I suppose what i mean to say is that Feminine girls can fuck just as good as butches.
Now that i think about it.. its very rare i have seen two really butch women together. I have seen two women i KNEW were lesbians because of their hair cuts/clothes etc. but they have not been like BUTCH butch..
See, but that's why I think there might be subtle differences; atleast for the butches/femmes/whathaveyous of color that I'm around. Those and other labels have relevance...and those who are exclusively "no label" consider it a label unto itself. This whole issue of race/sexuality/gender all interconnects and maybe that's why some of my friends think the way they do.

I know my experience as a black woman and lesbian isn't the same as a lesbian who isn't of color...that's why I pointed out the difference I'd notice and wanted to get feedback on whether or not that type of thinking was popular in the lesbian community at large or if it might just be limited to my experience with other black lesbians.

I do agree that most times the power lies in the feminine; I've never had any complaints.
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