View Single Post
Old 01-11-2010, 03:16 PM   #33
calauria
La Negra Hermosa
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Timbuktu
Posts: 1,070
calauria makes people happy simply by logging incalauria makes people happy simply by logging incalauria makes people happy simply by logging incalauria makes people happy simply by logging incalauria makes people happy simply by logging incalauria makes people happy simply by logging incalauria makes people happy simply by logging incalauria makes people happy simply by logging in
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by iamaJenny View Post
When I read your post the first thing I thought was :I am soooooo sorry that you had to go through that.

The second thing I thought was:

Holy crap. This is me. I have been overweight my entire life and I have always been 2x bigger than all of my classmates. I have had sooo many guys ask me out and then snicker to their friends about it. Just last week this guy walked up to me and said "my friend wants to go out with you" and they were all laughing at me and calling me fat. It was horrible. I always try to be the better person in these scenarios but it did make me really sad. For the rest of the day all I kept thinking was "I hate my body, and I hate how fat am." It was a really suckish day after that incident.

Anyway, as a result of this type of behavior I don't really trust guys all that much. Even when I get compliments from them I never think they are real.

I also want to add that I am African American but Happyface83's experiences are not my own. I kind of wish they were though. lol

Strangely, enough through out my life I have been treated more rudely by black men, than any other race so I don't think you can really put an ethnicity on this sort of thing. I think people are rude because they just are, and it has nothing to do with skin color. Neither do preferences really. I just think in some cultures certain preferences are celebrated more while in others it can be unspoken. Sure men of color might be KNOWN to like thicker women but I still got/get made fun of...A LOT.

I don't want to start a pity party but do you guys know that Fergie song "Big girls don't cry"? One of my worst memories is being 10 yrs old and having this boy say really hateful things to me about how fat and ugly I was. I'm really sensitive, so in true "me" nature, I teared up. The boy then proceeded to get the entire bus to sing that old school "big girls don't cry"song by Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons. I was mortified. Needless to say every time I hear that Fergie song, I get a little upset. I mean why the hell can't big girls cry?

All of this rambling is to say that unfortunately for me, I have never found anyone that I feel loves me despite of my size apart from my family members.

a lot of this could just be me. I have a hard time excepting love because in all honesty I struggle just to love myself. I'm forever thinking "gee, I'd be a great person if I lost 100 pounds.." So maybe I have to be the person who loves me no matter my size and everything else will come after.

Does that make sense?
i'm sorry you have to go through such things. at least you have family who loves you. i don't even have that. i don't have people outwardly making fun of me, but they might as well, because of they way they treat me, then i have to get really ugly with them to get them out of my life.

i don't trust guys either, i always think they are "up to something" when they ask me out. usually they want to lure me somewhere to talk me into having sex or try to force me into having sex.

but what usually surprise me are when those "model" type guys hit on me. i don't know whether to take them seriously or not...i feel afraid like they might hurt me or something....i don't know....
__________________
I'm free to do what I want, any ole time...:p
calauria is offline   Reply With Quote