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Old 03-09-2010, 07:01 AM   #13
butch
cuddly, hairy, and fat
 
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This is an interesting topic. I don't seek out BBW friends, but what I do tend to gravitate towards, withouth actively trying, are women who don't compete with other women. Whenever I hear people talking about how 'women are' and they discuss at length the catty, the judgmental, the man focused, the looks obsessed, those are not the women I have ever been friends with, and luckily enough, there are a lot of women who aren't like that at all. Makes it easy to find like-minded women to be friends with, but makes it hard when that image is put out there as the 'typical woman.'

However, I think if fat is something one has to 'deal with' every day, in that if your fat causes you to consciously ponder some state of your daily existence, then fat might be a strong enough component of your self-identity that having at least one fat friend can be a benefit, because it makes things so much easier to know at least one person 'gets' that daily negotiation of the world as a fat person.

For example, one feels much more comfortable going to a restaurant and asking for a table, not a bench, when they know the other fat person with them needs the same accomodation.

As a queer person, my life is very heterosexual, my family, my friends, my work colleagues, and while I don't 'need' to have queer friends to make my life complete, my life feels better with them in my life, and the same holds true for my fat friends. I think people naturally 'get' why I'd want a queer social group, but are less likely to get the need for a 'fat' social group, and I don't see much difference between the two aspects of my identity, and the need to honor both of them with the people I spend my leisure time with.
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