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Old 05-21-2007, 04:37 PM   #5
activistfatgirl
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Canadian View Post
None of my friends are into bigger girls, but when we go out, that has never stopped me. I guess I'm confused as to what your issue is here. Why can't you approach a big gal when you're out with friends?

All it takes is to walk across the room and say "hi" most of the time.
Tell your friends that you're going to talk to a girl, and you'll be back in 10.
I'm sure they'll understand.

I think what Canadian is saying is a great start, it helps normalize it. Big girls are still women and not a different species.

However, there are some differences. I'll speak personally here, but I'm quite defensive when I'm at a bar. I'm hyper aware of the number of men that will approach me as a joke, it has happened before. I'm hyper aware that my body feels more outwardly sexual--I take up more space, I am more visible, and I feel like I need to put up barriers. It would take more for someone to approach me and have me give them the time of day than a cheesy line. However, I would be won over quite quickly by someone who seemed genuine.

And don't confuse this with self esteem issues. I'm someone that is quite confident and sassy when out at a bar. I'm just pointing out some of the inner dialogue going on when I'm in that situation. It's just more...complex?

To the original poster, I may be off, but you might need to disengage from the "wingman" approach, as it sounds like a common situation with your friends. You need to go out and be likeable to the women you are attracted to and level with your friends about being more bubbly around them. IMHO I think the group man picking up groups of women dynamic slightly creepy, but that's just me, and I'm the one who just said I'm defensive.
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