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Old 11-06-2009, 09:11 PM   #13
Keb
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Virginia
Posts: 927
Keb has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Keb has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Keb has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Keb has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Keb has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Keb has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Keb has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Keb has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Keb has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Keb has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Keb has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
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I haven't had a best friend for a long time. I get along with people in general, and have plenty of social friends that I can talk to for hours when we happen to wind up together, but a regular best friend hasn't been a feature of my life since I was in middle school.

I think part of it is that I was a military brat, so the best friends that I did make as a child were pulled away from me by moving or changing schools as often as I did. (I actually moved very little for a military brat, but the spector was always there. I changed schools much more often, because they kept switching me into schools that had gifted programs, and the process had to start over when we did move.) By the time I was in high school, it seemed like everyone had their little group of friends, and there wasn't anyone left over for me. So I stayed on the fringes of the groups I was in and was just generally social without making any true friends. I was a bit shocked when a girl I'd hung out with for most of high school wrote in my yearbook that she hadn't known me that well, but liked me.

I don't think it was because of my weight, though. The best friends I'd made as a kid tended to get me in trouble a lot, and my mother never did like any of them. (She's told me horror stories about one of them that I wouldn't have even understood when I was friends with him.)

On the other hand, I do think that it made it harder for me to make boyfriends. I had plenty of guy friends that I hung out with, of course, but after seeing a couple of guys ruthlessly mocked because I confessed to someone that I thought they were cute, I stopped telling anyone when I liked a guy. It seemed horribly unfair to submit someone to torture and embarrassment just because I liked him; it was kinder to just stay silent about it. And while I don't know if I was acutely conscious of it, my weight was definitely a factor in it--both in their teasing and my decision.

I had mostly gotten over being teased myself by that age, and I'd learned to stand up for myself; I mean, I outright slapped a guy at prom for continously being a jerk to me while I was trying to dance with my date. When it was just myself, I could deal with it. But I didn't think it was right for me to be the cause of someone else's suffering--especially someone I liked.

In college it wasn't as big an issue, and I made a few good friends there--but again, there are only a couple I even still talk to, since I don't live in the area anymore. I was still shy about admitting to crushes, though; I trained myself well in high school, and part of me regrets that.

In the real world, it seems even harder to connect to people. You work, you sleep, you pay the bills, and you work some more.
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