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Old 06-01-2015, 11:13 AM   #4
jason_grvin
 
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Rupert, Idaho
Posts: 39
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CHAPTER 3

Iíve never really felt that I deserved anyone. I suppose after a few failed relationships where youíve tried your best failure can do that to do. You start to think that maybe itís never gonna work out with anyone but you canít just be alone. Does that make sense? Maybe. Maybe not.

Iíve never physically cheated on anyone. Ever. Never have. Never will. Itís been done to me several times and I know what that feels like. Itís just about the worst feeling in the world. However I am not a perfect man. I get scared. I worry about being alone even when Iíve got the best thing in the world with me.

She was leaving me because I did something inexcusable. The feelings that I had for her, which were for her and her alone, I faked with other women. I faked it because I was always ready for her to leave. And now, because of that, she was ready to leave.

I broke down. Had there not been something between me and the floor I would have ended up there. Iíve hurt before but this was unlike any pain Iíd ever felt. I was angry with myself for doing what I did. I was scared that Iíd never find anyone like her ever again. It was hard enough seeing her leave when I knew Iíd see her again but this was too much. I was, to put it in nice terms, a blubbering mess of a man that was watching his whole world fall down around him.

Something strange happened though and I still canít figure it out. She could have left. She should have left. She stayed. She held me until I stopped shaking, she wiped my tears away. We stayed like that, in silence, for a few minutes.

It wasnít till that day, that exact moment in time, when I felt that I was truly loved and truly in love. Iíd never been happier and to this day I havenít been happier yet.
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