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Old 11-11-2015, 09:56 AM   #11
jason_grvin
 
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Rupert, Idaho
Posts: 39
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CHAPTER 4

Almost a year already... can you believe it? It doesn't seem like it's even been half of that. You told me once that we wouldn't even make it to six months and here we are.

I still don't know if it was because of past experience that you said that. Maybe you were just teasing me. Maybe you didn't want it? I don't know. Either way 24 weeks has turned into 52.

It was cold the night we first met and it's cold again today. That sharp kind of cold you only get in the fall. It always looks like it should be much warmer than it is. I don't want to get too corny here but I can't imagine we "picked" a better time to start this whole thing up.

What I mean is that this time of year things are dying. Nature is doing it's big purge of all the things that it doesn't need to survive the next year. We did the same. You coming back home after trying something new and scary. Me being left here alone with no idea what was going on.

We needed to start over. We had to start over.

Winter ended, as it always does, and with it we were ready. We were ready to start over and really make something work with ourselves and each other. Life gradually started to come back to the land around us and with is a feeling of being refreshed. Spiritually, emotionally... hell I don't know. But it was something.

I don't know if we ever really talked about how important spring time was for us. That was when we really decided that this was something we wanted to pursue. We weren't just keeping each other company in the cold, dark, lonely winter nights. We wanted to keep it up and keep it going.

Summer happened. We were comfortable with summer. Not with the heat at all but with each other. We were started to finish each others sentences. I always thought that was a cheesy kinda thing but we were doing it. We were experiencing life as it is with someone that makes you truly happy. We weren't scared anymore. We weren't worried that we were going to cause this thing to crash and burn. We had the whole world in front and ahead of us.

There are things, however, that we couldn't walk away from. Fall happened again and some of those old worries and apprehensions came back. We did get scared. We worried. Was everything we'd done for the last several months actually something good? Was it just filler till the next best thing came along? Maybe we never said it much out loud but it was there. You can't lose things like we did and just forget about them. That's not how it works. The things you lose stay with you more than the things you keep sometimes.

And now... here we are. Again in those cold mornings, sunny afternoons, wet evenings of fall. We've seen the full cycle of nature. We've seen the full cycle of us. There are always things that are going to come that we aren't ready for. Unexpected situations arise where we lease suspect them. One thing though, and I say this without any hesitation, is that whatever those things are we can meet them and we can conquer any situation life throws at us.

We've proven it to ourselves and now we've proven to each other that we're ready. We're in this for the long haul. All that other stuff was just training wheels for who we were trying to become for each other.

It's not fate or destiny. Fortune cookies and Magic 8 Balls didn't decide we were going to fall in love. We just had to be ready to recognize when we did the good things that were ready for us.

I'm ready for you, I'm ready to take what I've got here and give it up for you... and I know you're ready to do the same for me.
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