Thread: A naive Fa?.
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Old 08-13-2009, 08:52 PM   #27
superodalisque
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mergirl View Post
Its weird. I have had very little negative expereince being an fa in real life and then i come to a place like dimensions which is Fa friendly. I join a facebook site, called "chubby girls are hot" or something like that (I saw a couple of my friends were members) and i was SO shocked at the Fa bashing from the women there! Jebus! I'm wondering if this is just the rantings of a few people who have the wrong end of the stick or if generally this is what most people think of Fa's. You see i have no idea of knowing because there is very little mention of Fa's anywhere; In films, Books, Music, plus all my friends are very open minded so i can't trust that its just them that are cool about Fa's.
I don't feel good about this.
do you think your positive experience here may be because you aren't a guy? or does it matter at all?

maybe the negative experiences are because, as i often find, that the BBW community is kind of odd and artificial in ways that really does not bring out the best in people sometimes. i think it can make some FAs confused about what is appropriate and what isn't. i think on dims people are trying very hard to push beyond at least some of the artificiality even though its a big challenge.

in public a lot of BBWs talk about thier ideal expectations which are not different from that of other women. but according to a lot of FAs i know, a lot of that is thrown out of the window in private. sometimes people do things or accept things when they are actually around FAs and get mad at themselves and the guy later when they feel some twinges.

then also there is the disappointment when online rhetoric (if you are talking about online related experiences) especially does not live up to reality. its not because FAs are necessarily bad people or anything like that. its just that sometimes people go too far online. all kinds of promises are made in the heat of the moment without having ever met. i think a lot of that is really authentic to a certian level. but sometimes there isn't a lot of are experience behind it.

then also quite a few BBWs are inexperienced as well. i think they find the things newly released FAs go through a little unsettling. most people go through those kinds of things in high school and college. a BBW or an FA may not get the chance until thier 30s or even later. if FAs weren't dating then the fickleness that some men might have when they are just getting the opportunity to really discover themselves as men is unsettling. i mean if you are a 45 yr old woman, as i am ,and a man is behaving like a teenager who just left the house with a spanking brand new drivers license you might get kind of exasperated. i'm not sure that FFAs go through that as much. it doesn't seem that they do but then again i have no real idea--just going by the little i've read and seen. you tell me. so when you look around and compare it to what you go through with non -FAs ( or maybe i should say guys who have always liked fat girls even if not exclusvely and have always ben unashamedly out) it can look pretty bad by comparison.

on top of that add the net effect. like someone said elsewhere people seldom come here to talk about thier good experiences. maybe we need to make a more conscious effort to talk about the FFAs and FAs that we know who are caring thoughtful and loving. we don't want people to get the impression that everyone is horrible--because they aren't. i know some really beautiful FAs who have totally dispelled all of the negative notions a lot of BBWs might get just by meeting them once.

in that spirit there is one in particular i know who is such a wonderful gentleman that just by meeting him he has helped a lot of women feel that there is hope and there are guys out there who can really care about them and appreciate them at the same time without games or reservations or total objectification at all times. some dims girls know him. he has treated none of us with anything but respect. too bad he doesn't have the time to come here. he is very active IRL. but unfortunately like a lot of guys like that he also doesn't like the way that that the community focuses on BBWs or FAs so it isn't really his taste. for example, he really resented the way that strangers were asking him about his sexual preference at events and always assumed that the women he talked with were just of a sexual interest to him. he hated that he was always being asked whether he liked bellies , thighs etc... --even by the women. i think he was insulted that he was treated as though he would never think the person was important. he felt like meat and he felt that other people were viewed as meat. i think it was comforting for a lot of women to know that some people feel that they are important and not only the meat they happened to have hanging on them. so they aren't dreaming when they think an FA can really like thier body and care how they feel. they didn't feel quite as disillusioned after meeting him.

Last edited by superodalisque; 08-13-2009 at 08:56 PM.
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