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Old 10-10-2017, 06:13 AM   #129
Lastminute.Tom
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Location: 'Ampshire
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Default please don't flame me for this I have a very fragile ego

Quote:
Originally Posted by loopytheone View Post
First off, that's a really interesting take on things, thanks for sharing. A lot of FA seem to start with just saying they like big boobs. Makes me wonder how many people that claim to like big boobs are closet FA.

I would disagree with the part I've highlighted though. Due to medical reasons, I have always been unable to orgasm yet my love of fat people has always been there and always been strong. I think it's probably too complex a thing to reduce it to one or two events in a persons life.
Hi sorry for late reply, I'm basing my "imprinting" idea on the leary/wilson 8 circuits of human consciousness and I got it wrong, the imprinting of your socio-sexual circuit isn't just from orgasm but from puberty as well

I have intellectual narcissism so I try and always appear to be smart and funny, but at least I'm aware of it so I can poke fun at it and try and acknowledge when I'm doing it

My instant reaction to reading about your medical condition was "Oh you poor thing" and I instantly wanted to start suggesting tantric methods/mdma but then I realised that you probably get that reaction all the time so I tried to think of a cleverer response (although its not as insightful a realisation when I had to tell everyone how insightful I am so no points for me there)

My ponderings have lead me to this hypothesis, not about the imprinting of our sexual desires but why we find people attractive.
We have at least two mental states that govern most of our actions, fight or flight and rest and digest, I think there's more states but for sake of argument lets suppose we have this polarity to work in, now in fight or flight mode you only have access to the logical side of the brain you're incapable of emotional range and creative problem solving, I think in this mode you're attraction is motivated by fear:
-you become attracted to people you can project yourself in
-you're currently feeling ashamed of yourself and your body
-this is a logical state of mind growing up with western media
-your attracted to people who are ashamed of their bodies/sexual identity
-I realised that when I'm stressed or scared or angry and I'm trying to masturbate to porn it was usually to models that aren't "present" they still attach some shame to what they are doing so their minds are elsewhere
-they're in the same fight or flight mode so really I was masturbating to myself projected into this poor person

That sounds absolutely hideous writing it out loud but I think this is a widespread problem, I've stopped watching porn where the women aren't present (you can always tell by the eyes) I think we need to come to a place of self acceptance in order to heal this fear-jerk reaction.

Anyway to end on a happier note I'd like to talk about the opposite state of mind "rest and digest" where you have access to both sides of your brain:
-I still think in rest an digest you see yourself in porn but it's the "present" version of yourself
-this state you can see the empowered version of yourself in models that love their bodies and know that you love their bodies too
-you feel more attractive in your own body
-you have agency and you commune as equals in love rather than fear
-you think more about the sensations that you can give rather than receive
-in this state you can make love with yourself and others

In our crazy world where we decided that cities were a good idea and that it was also a good idea to see everyone as separate races that are essentially alien invaders it can be hard to leave fight or flight (I think this is the root cause of addiction so I'm not going to advocate drugs except responsibly [only do it with people you trust]) I'd like to advocate massage as my main route to rest and digest mode, body positive masseuses can be hard to come by but you can get an indian head massager or practice reflexology on your hands or ears (feet too if your flexible) or do it with a friend, neck and shoulders seems to be where we carry a lot of our tension.

I'm scared I'm going to offend people with this post, I'm not trying to shame anyone I'm just trying to admit to my own shame so that I can grow, I don't think that my hypothesis are an indisputable truth its just a theory I came up with (I'm also scared this might not be original so I'm going to say right now I'm not saying I thought of it first)
Also I'm afraid I haven't put it very eloquently its a very new theory and I'm terrified about being misunderstood so I don't think I've used quite the right language but hopefully you can see what I'm trying to get across.
Also I know this is a thread about fat fetishism but my theory is about all attraction I think it links in with fetishism but I just wanted to clarify that, thankyou I'd like to end on a happy quote x

Quote:
“But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you. I love you. With all my heart, I love you.”
― Alan Moore, V for Vendetta
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Last edited by Lastminute.Tom; 10-10-2017 at 06:27 AM. Reason: clarification
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