It's complicated.
I like being *me* in general. I like being me now that I am fat, and I liked being me just as much back when I was thin.
But, I do not like the way being (this) fat impacts my life. Just like if I had cancer, I would still like being me, but would not like the way the cancer was impacting my life.
In all honesty, if I were to lose 100 pounds, I would also be gushing about how much happier I was and how much better life was. Not because I weighed 100 pounds less, but because the ways that those 100 pounds impacted my life would be gone. Just like I have to be truthful and say that I am much happier and life is much better now than when I was 100 pounds heavier, for the same reasons.
If somebody were to wave a magic wand and take away the health and mobility problems along with all the ways they impact my life, I would not have any problems being the size I currently am.
Because for me, my weight is not a major part of my self-identity. So, I can easily compartmentalize my feelings about it and like being me but hate being this fat.
Tracy
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