Why Are You Here???

From the Dimensions FAQ:

Dimensions originated as the newsletter of a "special interest group" of NAAFA, the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance. NAAFA, which was founded in 1969, fights against the discrimination fat people are subjected to in our society. One special interest group was for men who actually prefer fat partners. Dimensions was created to be a newsletter and then magazine for those who love fat women.

Again—Dimensions was created…for those who love fat women.

Hey! I’m a fat woman. Maybe I belong here. Maybe there’s a purpose and reason for me being here. Maybe there is some benefit to my being here. Knowing—because the creator/owner of Dimensions said so—that Dimensions was created for those who love fat women, why…I’m willing to bet that any woman who is fat would find comfort (in a world where such comfort is seldom found) in the knowledge that she was welcome here.

From the Dimensions FAQ:

…almost since the beginning Dimensions has been a forum for both fat women and the people who find them attractive. For men, Dimensions is a place where they can talk and learn about their preference, and …plenty more. For women, it's a place where THEY, and not their skinny sisters, are the stars. It's a place where they can learn about their admirers and to see the beauty and attractiveness in their bodies.

But, wait! There’s more!

Dimensions is about size politics, acceptance, and mutual respect as much as it is about celebrating the larger figure.

Hmm…let me see if I can summarize this correctly:

Dimensions was created for those who love fat women. For women, it's a place where THEY, and not their skinny sisters, are the stars. It's a place where they can learn about their admirers and to see the beauty and attractiveness in their bodies.

Sounds pretty clear-cut to me. Apparently, though, it bears repeating:

Dimensions was created for those who love fat women.

If it were not for the love of fat women, Dimensions wouldn’t exist.

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(1) If you are a fat woman, Dimensions was created with you in mind.
(2) If you are a man who loves fat women, Dimensions was created with you in mind.

It is obvious that Dimensions online has become much more since the original FAQ was written. However, the FAQ as it now stands is evidence to me as to who was the original intended audience/viewership/membership.

If you are a fat woman…if you are a man who loves fat women…Dimensions was created for you.

Who else might we say that Dimensions is for?

Again, from the FAQ: Dimensions is about size politics, acceptance, and mutual respect as much as it is about celebrating the larger figure.

Celebrating the larger figure.

So that would encompass fat men, as well. It would encompass women who love fat men.

(3) If you are a fat man, Dimensions is for you.
(4) If you are a woman who loves fat men, Dimensions is for you.

Wait! I certainly don’t want to exclude anyone on the basis of sexual orientation:

(5) If you are a man who loves fat men, Dimensions is for you.
(6) If you are a woman who loves fat women, Dimensions is for you.

Let’s sum it all up, then:


(1) If you are a fat woman, Dimensions was created with you in mind.
(2) If you are a man who loves fat women, Dimensions was created with you in mind.
(3) If you are a fat man, Dimensions is for you.
(4) If you are a woman who loves fat men, Dimensions is for you.
(5) If you are a man who loves fat men, Dimensions is for you.
(6) If you are a woman who loves fat women, Dimensions is for you.

The big question is, then, if you cannot claim one or more of these categories, why are you here? If you believe in size acceptance for only the segment (or even a particular few of that segment) that you admire, and no other, then why are you here?

Me? I’m a fat woman. I belong here. I feel I have a right to be here. How about you?

(And, no, I don't mind stirring the pot when it's a pot that needs to be stirred.)

[Fyreflyintheskye]

I'm just here for Cindy's sexy peekchewers.

[Dr. Feelgood]

I think women are individual miracles*, and that beauty comes in all sizes, but that's not why I'm here. I'm here because I revel in the conversation of intelligent, thoughtful, courteous, and witty people.


*Guys are okay, but I like girls better. I'm just sayin'.

[lougenessis]

A friend told me about this site and I joined because i love everything about it and i finally feel like i belong.

[TraciJo67]

At least two of the *intended* targets of this post fall under at least one of the categories that you've mentioned. In the meantime, others who have absolutely no reason to feel chastened or scolded are going to read this post and wonder if *they* are the targets.

So no, I don't see any particular reason for a message like this.

[LalaCity]

What the hell did I miss?

[stan_der_man]

I'm a FA, married to a wonderful large sized woman. I've been a NAAFA member since the late 1980s. I subscribed to (and still have copies of...) Dimensions magazine since almost the beginning.

I'm here to promote size acceptance from the FA perspective, and keep in touch with some wonderful people I've met here over the years. But the negative attitudes and balkanization here in Dimensions are causing me to rethink my commitment, and my desire to be actively involved in what goes on around here. The underlying tone of this thread which (what I perceive) attempts to ostracize those who "don't belong here" exemplifies why I'm becoming disillusioned with Dimensions. I've always thought this place was open to all supporters and was dedicated to treating them equally.

Correct me if I'm wrong...

[Miss Vickie]

Originally Posted by TraciJo67

At least two of the *intended* targets of this post fall under at least one of the categories that you've mentioned. In the meantime, others who have absolutely no reason to feel chastened or scolded are going to read this post and wonder if *they* are the targets.

So no, I don't see any particular reason for a message like this.

What she said.

As for why I'm here, I'm a formerly super sized woman who fervently believes that people of ALL sizes deserve respect, dignity, and equal and fair treatment. I've been part of the Dimensions online community since I got The Internets in 1997 or thereabouts and have supported the idea of size acceptance since that day. As a nurse I work toward opening the minds of my colleagues that fat can be fit and that all of our patients deserve to be treated with dignity and compassion. I'm also married to, and happen to adore, a fella who's a BHM.

[Waxwing]

Originally Posted by TraciJo67

In the meantime, others who have absolutely no reason to feel chastened or scolded are going to read this post and wonder if *they* are the targets.

Yes. How many of us are now unwanted? Maybe I'm just paranoid but it feels weird.

Is there a reason it hasn't been locked yet? This is a private issue, from what I understand. Is public stoning that also makes everyone else feel like shit what we do here now?

Bexy, I ferreted out some details (and wish I hadn't), but apparently something private wasn't kept that way, and feelings were badly hurt. And now it's here as a thread to make sure everyone feels as uncomfortable as possible.

[BeckaBoo]

Hi I'm Becka and I'm a fat girl!

I love DIMS, reading other women's experiences, thoughts and feelings on size related matters on this board has really helped me understand a lot about myself and my body. I also find it very interesting to hear FA 's points of views on things.

Basically I'm here because i find DIMS a fun place, useful resource and I'm all about celebrating the larger figure, cause i'm like a big girl yo.


Interesting and topical thread.

[Risible]

I'm feeling devastated finding out that there are - apparently - a couple of well-regarded, prominent thin Dims members who are hatin' on their very fat sisters.

This is just - hurtful.

To keep on topic, my bona fides:

I'm a fat woman, and have been all sizes of fat my entire life.

I remember going to one of the first - if not the first (Conrad, do I recall correctly?) FA-SIG meetings at a NAAFA convention some 20 years ago.

I am/was a charter member of NAAFA's Fat Activist Task Force (I'm not currently active).

I've been a supporter and participant in Dimensions Magazine beginning with issue #1.

[Sandie_Zitkus]

I'm a fat woman. I've been 'round these parts almost since it's inception. I was a member of the FA Sig in NAAFA when Dimensions was a black and white newsletter for that group.

According to your definition I belong here. So, why do so many people uestion why I'm here? Not liking someone is not a reason to tell someone that they should leave.

But like I said - I belong here. I love this place. This is like a home to me. It would be interesting to know why other's are here.

And - NO - I am not saying anyone should leave. Just thought I'd nip that in the bud!!

[Plainguy]

Well put saucy. . I've been around the net, and in the size"acceptance" areas for the longest time, and Dimensions is indeed a haven for those who walk that road less travelled. Or who don't fit in the "mold" society has placed for us to fit in.

Yet it's about more than that. .It's hard to describe a place where you can complement a BBW or SSBBW and not feel as though everyone thinks you need counseling. . I have known since my younger days I had different preferences in women, but it wasn't until adulthood I was able to deal with my preferences.

I've made a lot of friends here, and an enemy or two, but that's the beauty of life on the net, or in the real world for that matter. . The diversity, which is celebrated by this web site is something that could not be easily replaced. . . Just my 2 cents worth. . or maybe a dime?

[Chimpi]

Originally Posted by saucywench

(1) If you are a fat woman, Dimensions was created with you in mind.
(2) If you are a man who loves fat women, Dimensions was created with you in mind.
(3) If you are a fat man, Dimensions is for you.
(4) If you are a woman who loves fat men, Dimensions is for you.
(5) If you are a man who loves fat men, Dimensions is for you.
(6) If you are a woman who loves fat women, Dimensions is for you.

Me? I’m a fat woman. I belong here. I feel I have a right to be here. How about you?

I disagree with your word of "belong", saucy, but I do understand what you mean behind it. To me, it just seemed a little harsh in the context that you used it. I remain clueless as to where all of this has spawned, but I will offer my own personal thoughts.

To answer your specific question (that I think you're asking) - from your list(s):
I am a fat man, whom loves fat women, whom happens to find other fat men attractive (in a very non-sexual way), and welcome the attendance of Size Accepting, Fat Accepting, and Self Accepting people of all kinds - fat or thin. I, too (like stan, the fucking awesome dude that he is), have "always thought this place was open to all supporters and was dedicated to treating them equally." Those words which you have copied and pasted into this thread are, in fact, words typed by our OverLord, the very kind and generous man who has given us all a welcome home. But, indeed, I think it is a place for all a welcome home.
I believe that people that do not necessarily fall under those strict guidelines also have a welcome home here at Dimensions. As long as one does so courteously, why should a person not be welcome here that isn't fat, doesn't find fat people sexually attractive, and is not any sort of an activist in the Size Acceptance 'movement', but happens to enjoy certain peoples' company, or feels that everyone should be treated equally. I believe that. I just happen to be fat and love fat women in the process; I also enjoy certain peoples' company that have found themselves a home here at Dimensions.

I'm here to offer my thoughts, my support, my advice, my learnings, as well as being here to learn, accept, and grow more into what I hope to be some day. Dimensions is a place with many members, and it's still growing. There are always "bad apples" that the majority of people feel uncomfortable around. No one is required to post, no one is required to be anything that others want them to be, nothing is contracted or legally signed. This community changes with the times, the mindsets, and the 'popular' voices and thoughts. It always will.
I'm here, apart of all of that.

EDIT:

Originally Posted by Dr. Feelgood

I'm here because I revel in the conversation of intelligent, thoughtful, courteous, and witty people.

That too.

[LalaCity]

Calling for people to be banned is out of line, I feel.

If people have had their dirty laundry aired in public they have probably already suffered enough condemnation and chastisement.

A thread like this is just continuing hurt feelings needlessly, in my opinion.

[mossystate]

Lala, I agree that calling out for people to be banned is a bad idea.

Now, I have no sympathy for those involved, and while I would not ask for a pint of blood, I do not agree with the " have suffered enough ".

The chips will fall where thay fall, but, I don't see this as an ...' oops '. People who know what went down can just distance themselves or not..whatever. It's the kind of decision that people make all the time.

[Dr. P Marshall]

I'm here because I'm a woman who loves fat men. At least, that's what brought me here. What has made me stay and participate more all the time is that I have found a lot of interesting people here of both genders and all shapes and sizes having many very interesting and intelligent discussions about a lot of issues. I have found a lot in common with many of the male FAs and have found many of the BBW to be intelligent and interesting women and that has made me venture out beyond the BHM board. I have also learned a great deal about the challenges fat people face and have come to understand many things that I didn't intuitively know as someone who is not fat themselves. I like to think in the long run, that knowledge will make me a better partner to BHM in my life. Also, I want to see the world made easier for all fat people and their admirers. I knew things weren't as easy for big folks, but I admit to being a little naive when I got here as to how difficult things can be sometimes for some.

[LisaInNC]

I'm here cause I heard there were free cupcakes.

[pudgy]

I'm here because I'm a man who loves fat women. This sentiment of course has matured over the past 3 years. I used to be a man who just loved pictures of fat women. But as I came to some realizations about myself and my love life, it became more about the message that every person has the potential for beauty. Including (and maybe even especially) fat women. I say potential because some people will destroy their own beauty by either allowing themselves to be beat up by society or beating their own selves. But they have beauty that simply needs to be uncovered, dusted off.

[Tychondarova]

I am both a fat man, and a man who loves fat women.

Damn, this is the only place I belong!

LOVE LIVE DIMENSIONS!

[lipmixgirl]

i am a fat woman.
i am here to benefit from the fat community as a whole.
i am here to contribute to the fat community as a whole.
i am here to learn and grow as a person.
i am here to take what i have learned and disseminate it in the real world.
i am here to make a difference.


the big apple has spoken...
::exeunt::

[CuteyChubb]

I am a fat woman and love people who love me.

[KHayes666]

Why am I here......lol why AM I here? why am i HERE? WHY am I here?

[Gspoon]

I am a guy that loves the fat figure of a woman!

[Sandie_Zitkus]

I suggested it. It's up to Conrad what he does. And ya know what? I really don't give a crap if their feelings are hurt. The people they ridiculed are hurt more.

Originally Posted by LalaCity

Calling for people to be banned is out of line, I feel.

If people have had their dirty laundry aired in public they have probably already suffered enough condemnation and chastisement.

A thread like this is just continuing hurt feelings needlessly, in my opinion.