My thoughts today....

Whining, no, I don't think that I am whining when I say that I cannot make the journey of so many miles to go to any BBW event.

Sometimes I almost think that I am whining, but when I think about it more, no, this is not what I am doing....

I am saying that someone that has been alone for so many years is just so caught up in her everyday life and hasn't a clue as to how to get out of the rut that she has created for herself.

As I said, I have been a single mother of four for the past twenty years, I have not dated since my last daughter was conceived in 1991 and I am just not attuned to the modern day ideas and conceptions of dating, mingling and othewise the modern single's lifestyle.

I am stuck in the older times when things weren't so complicated with STD's, Aide's and any of the other problems that occure with the open sexual behaviours that are practised nowadays.

I am a very sexual woman and although being away from that part of my life for so many years, I have not forgotten that.

I am one that takes responcibility very seriously and since I still have a daughter at home, I just can't bring myself to leave her alone either. I cannot just leave at a drop of a hat....

Yes, I am stuck in a rut and yes I may never get out of this rut, but I do know that no matter what happens in my life, it happens for a reason.

I am just thankful that I am a here in the this forum so that I can at least learn from and contribute to the message boards and mingle with other wonderful people like myself that understand that it is not easy being me......

Yes, I am lonely but I am not desperate enough or brave enough to forget the life that I have lived these past twenty years...

Yes, I am looking, but I am not desperately seeking.....

Is there any chance of LOVE for me again? Who knows, I hope so, but if not, so be it.... I can accept whatever life sends my way, I have been doing that for many years now.

Whining? Maybe, maybe not. I do know that I am a Big Beautiful Woman and am happy in knowing that I am here with all you other BBW's and BHM's that I have common ground with at least here on the internet.

Does any of this make any sense to any of you?