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Old 09-30-2005, 05:09 PM   #1
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Question psychology of gain?

It seems like all my life I have desired and admired fat, and wanted to be fat. Even before puberty I would see the before and after weight loss ads, both for males and females, and mentally switch the sequence of the photos. I would fantasize of girls being inflated like blimps and slowly drifting to the ceiling. When I was about 13 I saw a National Geographic article about Polynesia and a photo of a boy who had a belly spilling over the waistband of his shorts and I wished I had a belly like that. I even tried to gain weight, but my metabolism in those early teen years made that an exercise in futility. As I moved on into puberty I always had crushes on the plump girls, but unfortunately I became entrapped by societal “norms”, and dated girls who were more in line with society’s thoughts of proper weight. One or two were chubby, but none would really meet the definition of fat as defined by these boards. I married, divorced when I got tired of the cigarettes and the boozing, re-married. My second wife is a sweet lady who is in the high mid range of “overweight” on the BMI charts. I love her softness and her curves, her hips and her nice soft tummy.

I thought I was a weirdo, even a deviant for desiring fat ladies and having weight gain fantasies, with myself and my dream partner both gaining. About 6 years ago I discovered Dimensions and was astonished to realize I was not alone, there were plenty of men who also found fat to be sexy and beautiful. It was two years ago when I decided I would again try weight gain for myself. From November 2003 to March 2004 I gained about 11 pounds, then lost it. I found I miss my chubby little belly, and I am working on restoring it. Right now I am in the middle of what I call the “parity” project. My objective is to gain weight until I match my wife’s BMI. This means adding about 20 pounds, and I find the feeling of my growing pudgy belly comforting.

Maybe this post is in the wrong place, but all my life I have desired to be chubby, and I’m curious about why that should be. Any thoughts about why people want to get fat? Why thin people would desire to add on pounds? I’m not talking about bulking up, but adding a soft jiggly belly. I tried Googling that too, searching on “psychology of wanting to get fat”, and came up with a big fat--- nothing.

Is there an explanation for this, or is it just a case of we are what we are?

I don’t claim to understand all this, I just know that it is, and I seem to be wired this way.
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Old 09-30-2005, 06:21 PM   #2
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I don't think anyone has an explanation. Theories maybe, but nothing solid. Seems like a healthy population has to have a bit of variation in it to enable it to cope with changing circumstances. And certainly, love of fat goes way back. Back to before the dawn of civilization.

My experience was similar to yours. My fat-loving switch turned on at 8 or so. There was the typical struggle against the norms. In my case the balance-tipper was when I read about NAAFA being started and I realized that I wasn't alone. And I too had some desire to be fat myself in addition to liking fat women. I realized that like most women, most BBW's prefer slimmer men. So I decided that I was best off staying slim. Being a life-long cyclist also factored into this decision.

For an FA, I find it almost ironic that now, I am thinner than most men my age. My weight has gone up and down a little bit. I've been a little heavier and lost, but I still have a small bit flesh to enjoy. No telling what size I would be if I had been with a lady who thought I should gain.
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Old 09-30-2005, 08:52 PM   #3
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I've seen sites for people into leg casts, looking like animals, and even dressing up like Star Trek characters. It's a big, crazy world out there and it takes all kinds to keep it spinning 'round. We just happen to be a small section of the spectrum of "many, many" kinds.

With 6 billion people in the world, give or take, there's bound to be something for everyone. With the Internet, everyone is gonna find something.

So we happen to like concentrations of adipose connective tissue. Cool. It's a natural part of who we wound up being. It's only a problem if it leads to injury to ourselves or others. It's insanity only if we persist in injuring ourselves or others. Short of those thresholds, it's something that makes up "diversity".

But for the most entertaining "why" behind our predilections, I must refer the avid scholar to Salvador Novo's essay, "Mexicans Like 'Em Fat". Makes for great reading, especially since it's in the University of Texas Press' edition of "The War of the Fatties". Seek this book out!
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Old 10-01-2005, 02:31 AM   #4
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I'd deffo be interested in knowing more about it. I've never understood it either, which is weird.
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Old 10-01-2005, 03:09 AM   #5
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Increasingly these days i question whether society's views are anywhere accurate. Fat is blamed for every ill.

However when you stop and think about it this is bizzare. Why would our bodies have evolved to be soo damn good at storing up excess Pie if it was bad for us?

Our media and current conditioning allow skinny girls to flaunt their "beauty"... but again, why would such a girl be a good selection of mate? Lust is quite obviously designed to create offspring, and if a woman looks like she can hardly feed herself *let alone* kids... is she a good choice of mate. (Or survive a cold winter... or a famine... or illness...)

On similar lines, I wonder whether wanting to get fat could be a natural survival instinct?

So I say we FA's of this are the normal ones!
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Old 10-01-2005, 03:27 AM   #6
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I think wanting to get fat or having a fat partner is definatly a primal instinct. Like in the stoneages, you didn't always know when you were going to get food, so any excess stored on the frame would be a good thing. (Well maybe not so much for the male because he'd have to be fit enough to catch the food and ward off preditors)

Fat was also a symbol of wealth, because if you could afford to buy enough food to be fat then you were definatly a wealthy person.
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Old 10-01-2005, 06:10 AM   #7
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Yes - fat can be a sign of wealth and success. Isn't it bizzare that most of the western world is doing it's damnest to eradicate it! (And failing...mwahahahaha!)
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Old 10-01-2005, 06:21 AM   #8
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I think now people think that being overweight is not really a status symbol anymore. They possibly atribute it to not being able to afford "decent" nutritional food. I know I've heard that excuse a few times from overweight people.
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Old 10-01-2005, 06:31 AM   #9
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yeah, ditto. Although junk food and ready meals are actually expensive!

It is actually pretty difficult *not* to get fat in the modern world. We have infini-pies and really have to go out of our way to do any real excersise (<--- see ... cant even spell the damn word!). Myself, i actually eat little but have put on a stone or so in the last year and a bit... just through "modern living"!
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Old 10-01-2005, 06:35 AM   #10
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I eat pretty healthily, lots of low Gi stuff, veggies and try to limit the processed food, but I live a very seditive life, and probably eat a little too much of the good stuff. I've still gained weight because of it (oh and probably the alcohol)

You'll have to excuse my typing. My new kitten is attacking the screen and it's putting me off.
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Old 10-01-2005, 06:42 AM   #11
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What is Low Gi stuff em?

(Well, they call it the good stuff for a good reason )
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Old 10-01-2005, 06:46 AM   #12
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All food basically has a GI rating, I *think* it's the higher the refined sugar that's in the food the higher the GI will be. So stuff like white bread, sugary cereals, processed foods and stuff have really hi GI ratings. Stuff with low sugars, wholemeal, veggies and lean meats ie: brown rice, wholemeal bread, and stuff like that have low GI ratings. The whole low GI diet thing was made to help diabetics control their blood sugars and the like, but when people found they lost weight on it it really took off.

I'm not doing it to lose weight, I just like to keep the sugar down a bit.
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Old 10-01-2005, 06:54 AM   #13
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oooh i see... so like "complex carbs" for slow release of energy instead of insta sugar rush. I don't think i could ever do that kinda diet without beating an addiction to fizzy cola bottles.
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Old 10-01-2005, 06:59 AM   #14
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Kind of like it yeah hmmm fizzy cola bottles. I ate a packet of them on tuesday (not very low Gi I know)
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Old 10-01-2005, 07:42 AM   #15
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Smile The history of erotic weight gain....

..is unexplored and just waiting for a focus..I have been threatening to write a book about it for years and it looks like I will just have to get off my size 52 tuchus and do it already! The first mention of weightgain for erotic pleasure appears to have been in the Marquis De Sade's "Justine" back in the 18th Century, although I have to re-read Rabelais...Gargantua and Pantagruel is loaded with scenes of gluttony and feasting....it may stretch back much further...we shall see!
The genetic aspect of the body being wired to survive famine was brought out in a 1970's science fiction short story, called "Grow in Wisdom" about a scientist who starts noticing that a lot of her associates are growing exceedingly fat. There are increasing hints of worldwide famine as the story proceeds and by the end, she is reaching for that extra slice of pie too...! It was very clever and did give us a hint of what ecological disaster might cause...
The psychology of erotic weightgain is very interesting to me, since I am in a psychology program...we have a seminar every year on the psychology of food and eating...I am just going to have to break down and go this Spring! There is not a whole lot of material on the psychology of purposeful weight gain...I am sure it would be considered a paraphilia....or an eating disorder...so far, it hasn't popped up on the radar screen of professional psychology, but I am sure it will.
In the meantime, I am going to enjoy this delightful box of Little Debbie brownies!
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Old 10-01-2005, 08:06 AM   #16
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Yeah... now and again, during motivated moments i am tempted to look into a PhD on this issue... not that i expect i'll ever get of my arse lol.
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Old 10-01-2005, 12:06 PM   #17
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Old 10-01-2005, 12:13 PM   #18
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It would make a fascinating read if someone worked out why we are attracted to fat, or gaining. I've always gone with the primal instincts theory, but i also think its to do with a wiring in the brain that you just are attracted to fat, thats how you were born.
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Old 10-01-2005, 12:51 PM   #19
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Much of North Africa and West Africa is nuts for big, if not HUGE women. European explorers in the 19th Century remarked on how huge the queens of those regions were, and they likely weren't exaggerating. For them, though, it wasn't because they attached any significance to the fatness other than it looked HOT to the men of the region. It's a matter of societal preference. Europeans used to KILL over plucked foreheads...
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Old 10-01-2005, 01:26 PM   #20
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You have heard from people who are turned on by non-fitness and one who prefers women who are both fit and fat. There is also a middle ground.

Fat women who keep active -- above 250 lbs. just doing a lot of walking and the occasional staircase climb may be sufficient -- seem to be healthier and their fat shape is still a female shape. I like that.

On the other hand, anything that is a reminder of a healthy woman's growth can be alluring. When a big gal disses herself in public -- "God, I am getting so fat" -- it's not the self-flagellation that's a turn-on, merely the calling attention to her increased fullness. Similarly, when a big woman occasionally needs a second try to get up from the couch, it's not the lack of fitness I find hot, merely the reminder that she's a well-fed mama.

Heather will understand this: she drew a distinction between physical condition as a reminder of her alluring fullness and physical condition as an occasional functional nuisance. (Her remarks also help to explain the gentle eroticism of many of her photos in which she appears to be caressing her own belly.)

(comments on this thread and a nearby one, a little farther down, on unfitness)

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