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Old 02-27-2009, 11:10 AM   #51
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Originally Posted by BLUEeyedBanshee View Post
I confess that my role as sounding board for my daughter's friends has changed. They all sort of treat me like their adopted mother. I feel pretty honored to be given this role.

However, I also confess that it upsets (saddens) me that their bio-mothers aren't able to give them the love/support/advice that they should be giving them just because of their sexual orientation.
I think a lot of teenagers don't go to their parents for support or advice in general, but especially about relationships, regardless of orientation. In many groups of friends I've heard of that phenomenon where one Mom (usually) becomes the sounding post for a lot of the kids. My wife says it was this way with her Mom.

I'd imagine that teens may feel even more that they can't talk to their parents about it when there are issues like sexual orientation in play (for that matter one of the reasons I never talked to my parents about it was that one of my biggest internal conflicts was with regards to being an FA, which I was not willing to talk with them about, but I don't know that I would have talked with them about it regardless).

Aside from that, I'm glad that they have found they can talk with you! And I don't know if it was intentional, but the way you wrote that, it sounds like almost all your daughter's friends are having sexual orientation issues?!?
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Old 02-27-2009, 11:20 AM   #52
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I confess that my role as sounding board for my daughter's friends has changed. They all sort of treat me like their adopted mother. I feel pretty honored to be given this role.

However, I also confess that it upsets (saddens) me that their bio-mothers aren't able to give them the love/support/advice that they should be giving them just because of their sexual orientation.
Kudos to you though. Teens need to have understanding and a pillar of support so its great you can provide that for them.

I guess I count myself blessed. Both of my parents never gave me any grief or words of condemnation because I'm lesbian. And as time goes on, I think they are even more comfortable with it (I came out in highschool). When I was dating my mother would ask about my dates, help me pick out my outfit, etc.

Now, it's like she's basically adopted my partner. When I go visit, the first question is usually about my partner if she's not in tow. She and my father have gotten pretty close as well; he really likes that she takes an interest in fishing since that's one of his life passions. They actually sit on the couch and watch dvds of pro bass fishing sometimes... Why oh why would anyone watch that stuff, but at the same time its sort of cute. In a lot of ways she reminds me of my Daddy.
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Old 02-27-2009, 11:25 AM   #53
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Aside from that, I'm glad that they have found they can talk with you! And I don't know if it was intentional, but the way you wrote that, it sounds like almost all your daughter's friends are having sexual orientation issues?!?
The ones that have taken me on as their adopted mother do. Both male and female, and all having a lot of conflict when they decided to come out to their parents or their parents found material in their rooms suggesting they might be homosexual.

Sure there are a few of her friends who aren't having sexual orientation issues that have used me as a sounding board, but they aren't as close to me as the ones who are having issues.
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Old 02-27-2009, 12:13 PM   #54
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I confess that sometimes I wish I lived in a small studio apartment in Seattle or Portland and had really short butch hair and did nothing but activist work and slam poetry. But that was another life.

Oh yeah and I forgot to mention I would have a couple of cats and a small dog....and a nice fat girlfriend
i have a dog and im a nice fat girl! lol oh and...i live in prtland! lol
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Old 02-27-2009, 12:15 PM   #55
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i confess, that i put a diana ross and the supremes record on after i get out of the shower and sing into my hairbrush....i even do the lil 1950's backup singer dance...lol
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Old 02-27-2009, 05:25 PM   #56
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I confess that my role as sounding board for my daughter's friends has changed. They all sort of treat me like their adopted mother. I feel pretty honored to be given this role.

However, I also confess that it upsets (saddens) me that their bio-mothers aren't able to give them the love/support/advice that they should be giving them just because of their sexual orientation.
How did your daughter's friends find out that you are not homophobic and start confiding in you? Did they come out to your daughter first or did it just happen? I wish I had an adult to talk to when I was coming out but didn't know who would be receptive. I ended up going to a seemingly open-minded acquaintance who identifies as a feminist (I used to think that all feminists are okay with lesbians) and she was unpleasant about it all.
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Old 02-28-2009, 06:40 AM   #57
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The ones that have taken me on as their adopted mother do. Both male and female, and all having a lot of conflict when they decided to come out to their parents or their parents found material in their rooms suggesting they might be homosexual.

Sure there are a few of her friends who aren't having sexual orientation issues that have used me as a sounding board, but they aren't as close to me as the ones who are having issues.
I wish i had someone like you to talk to when i was comming out. i had just turned 15 and it felt like my mum suddenly just hated me. Think we should start a comming out thred here. Whenever i talk about it though i cry, need a cuddle and then feel awfully self indulgent and silly.. cause it was half my lifetime ago.. it still really messes me up though..I feel so sorry for Young people comming out. It just seems so crazy to react so badly to love.
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Old 02-28-2009, 08:25 PM   #58
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I confess that I just had the biggest fight with my mother over this that we've ever had.
It wasn't big in a blow-up-screaming way... it was big in a Wow. That really hurts that you think of me that way-way.

I'm not really sure what to do now....
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Old 03-03-2009, 09:22 AM   #59
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How did your daughter's friends find out that you are not homophobic and start confiding in you? Did they come out to your daughter first or did it just happen? I wish I had an adult to talk to when I was coming out but didn't know who would be receptive. I ended up going to a seemingly open-minded acquaintance who identifies as a feminist (I used to think that all feminists are okay with lesbians) and she was unpleasant about it all.
The first one was kind of funny. Her one friend ended up sitting with me during a movie because it was a crowded theatre. It was before my daughter even came out. Well my daughter had told me that this friend of hers was a lesbian and I honestly think nothing of it. So she was talking to me before the movie started. She is a very straight forward type of girl. She asked me if I was an open minded person. I told her I was. She then talked to me how her father had raised her pagan Then she slipped in something about her girlfriend. And from there, the conversation was just open between us. She was raised by her father and had 2 different step mothers in her 15 years at that point. Anyway, from that day forward she knew she could talk to me. Months later my daughter came out to me and the rest is history. I think possibly my daughter told her friends and possibly her other friend might have said something about me being open to talk to, etc.

Now I get them texting me all the time or just coming over to hang out or whatever. I help with college choices. I listen to them when their hearts get broken or when they're mad at anyone. I look at their pictures. I have also been let into seeing some of their Fanfiction stuff. And a few of them don't think twice about calling me at all hours, and know that I'll listen if they need an ear. And that's something I've told them when they started talking to me. That no matter what they can call me and I'll listen.


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I wish i had someone like you to talk to when i was comming out. i had just turned 15 and it felt like my mum suddenly just hated me. Think we should start a comming out thred here. Whenever i talk about it though i cry, need a cuddle and then feel awfully self indulgent and silly.. cause it was half my lifetime ago.. it still really messes me up though..I feel so sorry for Young people comming out. It just seems so crazy to react so badly to love.
I'm so sorry mer. That's horrible, and it still is the way some folks react. I don't get it. When my daughter came out to me she was 15. It was on the way to hockey practice and it was just pretty uneventful. The changes afterward are what were remarkable to me. Before she came out for about 2 years she had withdrawn from me so much. She didn't talk to me like she used to and I chalked it up to her being a moody teenager. When she told me she liked girls (using her words) everything went back to normal. She shares just about everything with me. So I'm buried under silly Youtube videos and drawn into playing video games (again) and all that I was missing for the 2 years. I am so happy I have my daughter back. I love her, and can't imagine not.
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Old 03-03-2009, 09:23 AM   #60
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I confess that I just had the biggest fight with my mother over this that we've ever had.
It wasn't big in a blow-up-screaming way... it was big in a Wow. That really hurts that you think of me that way-way.

I'm not really sure what to do now....
Sorry to hear that Kris *hugs*
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Old 03-04-2009, 09:06 AM   #61
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IC that I spent a half hour this morning crying my eyes out. No one deserves to feel this low, even me.
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Old 03-04-2009, 11:32 AM   #62
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IC that I spent a half hour this morning crying my eyes out. No one deserves to feel this low, even me.
(((((Butch))))) I hope whatever you are going through gets better. Know that you are in my thoughts, J.
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Old 03-04-2009, 11:37 AM   #63
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IC that I spent a half hour this morning crying my eyes out. No one deserves to feel this low, even me.
((((butch))))

One of these days I'm gonna give you a real hug. You're awesome remember that.
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Old 03-04-2009, 12:05 PM   #64
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IC that I spent a half hour this morning crying my eyes out. No one deserves to feel this low, even me.
Butch, that happened to me a couple weeks ago--I felt really bad and cried my head off. I was convinced nobody wanted me, felt worthless, replayed all these different rejections in my head, etc. I couldn't stop crying. It was awful. I don't know what is making you feel bad, but I feel really low a lot, myself, so I know how bad it feels to feel that bad.

I don't know you very much, but I like the things you have to say. You have been really nice and welcoming to me here, and seem like a cool person. I hope whatever it is that is going on gets better for you.
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Old 03-04-2009, 04:36 PM   #65
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Julia...you know where I am. You don't even have to reach out...just...tap me on the shoulder. BIG hugs coming your way.
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Old 03-04-2009, 06:53 PM   #66
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IC that I spent a half hour this morning crying my eyes out. No one deserves to feel this low, even me.
Don't say "Even me" again ok? You don't deserve to feel low PERIOD. It sucks to be there . I am there myself. Do not play into this anymore than you have to. Tell yourself I'm deserving of happiness. Do that until you believe it. You haven't killed innocent children have you? Do you go around and beat small animals? Slap old people silly?(tempting sometimes i know). Now i am sure the answers to these are no. So do not attach "even me" to a statement that makes it appear you are undeserving of happiness or peace or the winning lottery ticket. You see there are many people who think the world of you so take that and run with it. Remember you deserve happiness.
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Old 03-05-2009, 06:05 AM   #67
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Thank you all for your kindness and thoughtfulness. Feeling better today, but still trying to sort out how to process lifelong feeling of loneliness, rejection, and inadequacy. When those feelings come on very strong I ache down to the marrow, and such emotional pain scares me.

Big hugs and love to all of you, and for reminding me that I don't deserve to feel this way all the time.
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Old 03-09-2009, 12:28 PM   #68
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IC that I'm sorry I haven't responded to my PMs lately. I am getting a little brain crazy lately due to my inability to multi-task well or keep to a schedule. Please know I am appreciative, and am trying to be a better communicator, I promise!
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Old 03-09-2009, 12:35 PM   #69
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hmm Butch.. aimee mann isnt going to make you feel any happier. !!
When i feel depressed gd hides all my sad albums so i dont wallow..
I think its good to wallow now and again but with a soundtrack it just seems to last longer i think.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((you)))))))))))))))))))) )))))))))
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Old 03-16-2009, 06:22 PM   #70
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Old 03-16-2009, 06:25 PM   #71
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I confess....that our dear moderator has a sexy voice
I am so jealous! Please take pictures of the two of you!
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Old 03-16-2009, 06:28 PM   #72
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There will be four of us, now.

Annndd.....

none of us like having our picture taken

(but maybe I will send one to you, lady)
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Old 03-16-2009, 10:36 PM   #73
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chicken legs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chicken legs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chicken legs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chicken legs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chicken legs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chicken legs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chicken legs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chicken legs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chicken legs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chicken legs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chicken legs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
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I confess i totally feel bi when i see huge asses.. bottom heavy super size folks make me go
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secret turn on.....Genuine affection :)
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Old 03-16-2009, 11:31 PM   #74
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In high school, I had a girlfriend on and off for a year or more--way more, really, now that I think about it, but that's another story. We had been best friends first and we often talked about the celebrity women we found to be the hottest...I think it was a safe way to discuss the idea of lesbianism without getting too much into it and possibly admitting that we had each developed a crush on the other. So every phone conversation went something like this:

Sara Gilbert?
Oh yes, she's beautiful!
Tori Amos?
Yes, yes, yes!
Alicia Witt?
Absolutely, she's amazing.

We had that same conversation a hundred times and never quite got to the "okay, how about girls we know" conversation.

Anyway, one day one of us (and I can't remember which) got brave and yelled sort of clumsily "Alicia Witt is hot. Oh and I'd totally fuck you."

Yeah, romantic, eh?

But that's how the relationship with my first girlfriend started.
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Old 03-17-2009, 07:32 AM   #75
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Melian View Post
I confess....that our dear moderator has a sexy voice
I don't know why I never capitalized on that by going into the phone sex industry. I missed my calling!

Thanks, M. I confess that made me blush like a little girl.
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