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Old 03-15-2009, 05:50 PM   #176
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fetishes are not meant to be understood on an individual take-this-one-or-leave-it basis; all we ask is that those without fetishes respect the notion that the vast majority of fetish-havers know how to reconcile their kink with the dangers of reality just as you would assume your next door neighbor is not a pedophile.
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Old 03-15-2009, 07:11 PM   #177
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I am a feeder and a quite exerienced and vocal one, so I it will be my pleasure to shed some light and answer your questions in detail:



>Attitudes of others have been sometimes extreme particularly when it comes to feeders.

Oh yes, it is. Fat is still a total tabu in our society. Now fat acceptance is already more or less accepted. But fattening somebody up on purpose is still seen by some to be the ultimate evil. I would say we life in a time of fat-phobia, fat is avoided, scary and shunned. So people that fatten other people on purpose are people doing something to these people that they don't want at all. Well, the contrary is true in many cases, see below.

Films and hollywood has portrayed feeders as monsters. They love the extreme and sensational. The feedee is the victim, the feeder the never satisfied pusher that "inflates" the feedee till she is dead. Very distorted and just untrue. (although there might be crazy and dangerous people like that, I don't deny it)
My experience has been that the normal real world works a little more realistic and moderate.

I believe that I have to speak out as a feeder, because there is no other subject in FA that is more misunderstood.

>against being fat. I am an ssbbw (probably the smaller end of
>ss) and I know that my general health and wellbeing feels better
>when I am a little lighter. What worries me about feederism is
>what if a vulnerable person would be carried away with
>pleasing a feeder to the detriment of their own health? I am not
>even

That does happen of course. And yes, feeding has health implications and every feeder has to pay attention to them. Feeding has to be fun for both parties, otherwise it is abuse. Endless feeding, never wanting to stop is no realistic and probably a sign of a crazy and dangerous feeder. Sometimes it is also a sign of unexperience. The fantasy gets over blown due to it never have been reality before. Most feeders never feed a feedee, because, frankly, *grin*, feedees are an elusive and rare bunch. If you get to experience feeding, you are lucky.
So most feeders fantasize around, dream and in dreams, things go overboard, especially not having the outlet of reality.

And then there are things that will never be real (and should not):
Feeding somebody into immobility is for me a thing that belongs in the fantasy realm only. It is sexy there, but surely would not be in reality. It carries a lot of responsibility and loss of a lot of life quality for the feedee. I don't think that the rewards weight up the costs. Extreme stuff hardly ever does.
The extreme can also be sexy of course.
But I practice feeding or even force feeding in short bursts, not prolonged and all the time. The extreme in that is what is sexy and hot, for both.

Many feedees dream about spending a week or two with a feeder and in this time being just an object, getting fattened up and having only one purpose in that time: growing fatter and sleeping (and sex of course, because a Feedee gets horny like nothing at treatment like that)



>talking abusive feeder or suggesting that feeders are generally
>abusive but there have been cases where feeders have been
>partly responsible for disabling another person. I have seen a

I believe in responsibility. If you cause something, you take responsibility for it. If you don't like the outcome, don't do it then in the first place. It is an universal law. Also, it must be consentual, both parties must agree on it.
I for myself would never feed a feedee that only wants to gain for me. That gets a kick of getting fattened by me, although she does not really like fat.
I need somebody that enjoys the beauty of fat, the jiggling, the wonderful sensuality of softness.
In this, I can only talk for myself. I would recommend that a feedee first should find out what feeding means to a feeder, how he practices it and that he respects the feedee fully, sets boundaries and is sane.

>documentary about a guy who fed and fed his wife until she
>was so big she couldn't get out of bed or do anything for
>herself. He ended up like a carer, washing her and doing
>everything. He got excited by her thickened flesh that had

I would not consider that sane. He sounds like he does not have stops and will just feed her till she dies, because he is obsessed with fat and the feeding. A feeder must care about the woman, not just the body. We men tend to be hooked up a little with the female body, true. But a feeder has to recognize and value a feedee as a human being, with needs and wants.


>Even if there is no intent to make someone so big that they
> become disabled, would they/do they really understand how
>and when a person is becoming dangerously overweight?

Yes, feeding cannot be endless. Actually, there has to be a stop, when weight gain becomes inpractical, pointless and dangerous. Every feedee is different, some of them can grow incredible fat (due to a fatty gene it seems) without any bad health effects, others don't grow really that fat before it becomes clear that it they should not gain more. I usually stop long before that point is reached. It just makes more sense. I don't want to be responsible for a feedee becoming sick and harmed.


> documentary I watched was definately portraying it against
>feederism.

Well, there is none that is pro feederism. The public just cannot grasp it that there are actually women out that that enjoy it to be fattened up and get a huge kick out of it. Often, I find that they are scared to confide this to me, even knowing that I am a feeder, because they think that they are sick in the head for wanting to get fat.

>I understand this is a very personal question and if you do not
>want to explain your feelings or activities then I respect this. I
>mean I wonder things like, is it your sexuality? Do you see a

Well, I answer this one gladly, especially since I know that many shy away from it. Many feeders are scared to talk openly or show their face in public with a fat woman and admiting that they are feeding her, or even showing their preference as FA.
I do, but meet closet cases every day through my (somewhat extreme) webpage and blog.

>woman/man a certain size and imagine her/him bigger then get
>around to suggesting he/she would be hotter if she/he were >larger? Or do you seek feedees who want to gain with a

Well, for me it is a HUGE turnon if I imagine her larger and have realized that it is also for feedees. They dream of getting fattened up by a man (although other genders can also apply).
It is a wish that usually is already there from childhood, but surfaces then in adulthood.
It is (in all cases that I know) connected directly with sexuality.
Feeding gets both parties hot, it is the super ultimate foreplay. Nobody that is a feeder or feedee can understand that. The feeding and the impending fattening through it, such a turn on it is.
It is like a secret fantasy dream world for a feeder and feedee, in which only they both exist.

I have noticed that women that grow larger cause also a stronger sexual echo in me, I desire them more. It is like they become irresistible. And on the other side, the women also gets sexually more and more turned on by her growing bulk. Fat jiggles and moves: feeling how her belly hangs and moves, how she jiggles turns most feedees incredibly on.

>partner? Or is it a fantasy? Do you like to see people eating
>and getting fatter over time in a relationship with you? How do
>you live this life?

Well, that depends. I guess it is very sexy to get into a relationship and grow fat through it (even together). This is the most lovingly of feeding, since this is very very old. In stoneage, a caring (and wealthy) man fed his wife and showed off their prosperity (in food) to the rest of the community.
Feeding and fattening her is very lovingly.

I have not had that luck yet to be in such a relationship. Finding a good (long lasting) relationship is very hard, even in the best of circumstances. Narrowing the group down to only include feedees makes it of course much more difficult and rare.

>Like I said I am an ssbbw and my girlfriend is an FA. When she
> admitted to me she was into this I was worried that if I lost
>weight she would not want to be with me. Now that we are in a

I don't care about it that much, since the human factor tells me that I am loyal and connected to a person, no matter what shape or size she has. I have even witnessed feedees losing weight and supported them in it, because they needed to loose it for their health (because we both went a little overboard) and I was fine with that. If a feedee needs or wants to lose weight, I would never dream of trying to convince her otherwise. I am empathic, so I feel what she feels and when gaining does not give her lust anymore, neither does it give lust to me.
The relationship does not get hurt by this, it can maybe reduce the sexual attraction a little, but sex is not all and everything, there are other important things in a relationship.
In my experience there usually enough sexual energy and desire left, since feedeing and getting really fat supercharges the sex ;-)


>about other relationships? If you were in a relationship with
>someone who refused to gain and they weren't big enough for
>you, would you dump them?

Well, then that is no feeding. I would not consider that a feedee and then I cannot live out my feeding activities then.
I guess I am realistic enough not to expect that I will get a perfect relationship AND that she will be a feedee. That is just too rare and unlikely. Sadly enough.

>Is a feeder merely a nurturing person who takes pleasure out of
>seeing a food lover getting pleasure out of food? This could be

Well, I guess it can be. But as said above, it is basically a very very hot foreplay in sex. Not many people will say this so direct and out in the open, but that is how I am.

>Is there more a sexual gratification from watching someone
>grow?

Of course, heck, tons of it. More than you can handle.


>Do feeders want their partners to get fatter and not be able to
>go anywhere? are they insecure and want to disable their
>partners into being reliant on them?

Well, I don't. I want a equal partner, on the same level than me. I want to enable a woman (and feedee). Introducing a feedee to the pleasure of gaining and most of all, fat, is such an adventure. I see feedees come to me that have never felt this and it is I guess for us feeders and feedees the hottest and exciting thing in the world, me knowing that she wants to get fat and a lot and she knowing that I am the real deal, that I truly honestly want her to gain and become a very fat feedee. (wether that VERY fat will stay in the real of fantasy or become real is another story entirely)

The best way to see how a feedee feels about all that is asking one, but I guess not so many are so vocal about it. I have one lady that has grown quite large already (around 400 lbs), but is from Germany and speaks only German. I don't have much time for translating from one language to another, so unfortunately she cannot be heard. But she would be a good example, surely.


>so many questions. I genuinely want to know people for and
>against this and to understand this very lesser spoken almost
>taboo sub culture within dimensions.

It is totally taboo really. And I am working on changing that. But it might still take a long time. I guess we would need somebody like Harvey Milk and I was wondering if that is going to be me (I had the feeling that I had a mission), but I am not looking forward to be despised and suffer from the endless and incredible stopidness of the masses of people that have had their brain washed by the media into believing that thin is sensual and that getting fat is unnatural and ugly.
Fat sometimes seems to be the most hated of them all.
Which is totally sick and contradicting:
The parts that make a woman look female are all made of fat: The breasts, the hips, all the curves. Women look like women because they have a higher fat content than us men. Shunning the fat is the same as shunning femininity for me.

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Old 03-15-2009, 09:19 PM   #178
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My (admittedly neophyte) take on feeding:

I admit first and foremost that I don't share in any erotic immobility fantasy. I find the thought of immobility for myself frightening, whether it comes from weight gain, injury, or illness. The thought of illness-related paralysis has always frightened me and as my parents have gotten older they have suffered from mobility problems (my father due to complications from a chronic illness--nothing weight-related-- and my mother due to a knee injury, muscle loss in her leg, and weight gain). I have seen the pain, emotional and physical, that these mobility-related problems have caused them at times. It is hurtful to me to see it and so I can't find the thought of immobility for myself attractive.

However, I must add that if someone else were to have an immobility fantasy or fetish, I couldn't condemn them. I have some pretty strange kinks of my own, a few of which are absolutely impossible to achieve in real life, so I can't condemn someone else as a freak when it just may be that they would look upon my own kinks as equally strange. Live and let live. As long as a feedee and feeder are happy together, there is no force or non-consensual activity, and the feedee is happy, healthy, and weight loss is fine for her and her feeder if she gets too big or her health is endangered, it's fine.

Also, since my boyfriend is an FA, I've been researching the size-acceptance movement and Fat Admiration, and I have to say that now I'm interested in actually maybe gaining a bit of weight. He says to me (and believe me, I appreciate this) that he loves me at any size, considers me attractive at any size, and I definitely believe him, but at the same time I want him to be happy and satisfied. What he considers beautiful and erotic, I want to consider beautiful and erotic, as well. So now I'm just a little bit envious of chubbier women that I see at my school, out in public. I personally am not a FFA but I have a very broad spectrum of physical things that I consider attractive in men, and I can definitely see why a guy would be turned on by a plump woman.

I can also see why food would be considered erotic as well. If I marry my FA boyfriend, I would love to have food and feeding each other be a part of our sex life. I like watching attractive men eat, I like eating, I like eating sweets, and my boyfriend has lovely hands and very sensual fingers, so I like just the idea of him feeding me. If that makes me a feedee or wannabe-feedee, then so be it!

Also, just for the record I can understand why mergirl initially made the comparison to rape fantasies. Not in the sense that feederism and rape fantasies are the same things (they are not and I would not say that they are), but in the sense that they are two things that some people would find strange or distasteful (or even abnormal or 'sick'). They are not activities that everyone would find erotic or feel comfortable in doing, and I understand that. At the same time, I can understand a woman finding a rape fantasy (or bondage play) or the prospect of gaining weight erotic, because now I've become slightly interested in both scenarios, frankly.

Just two cents from a newbie (not that it will take you very far today, but a penny saved is a penny earned).
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Old 03-15-2009, 09:57 PM   #179
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I'd say it's misunderstood. Personally, I don't find anything wrong with feeders/feedees. I've always maintained that as long as it's a mutual thing, that both people agree too and not forced, it's fine.

I've been around the community for a while and I have noticed that feederism in general can be a taboo subject. Though I blame some of it on the people who reduce BBWs to numbers. It's one thing to love supersized women. It's another thing to act like that's the only thing that matters. Most of it seems to come from close minded people who have an image of healthy ingrained in their brains. I remember on one site an argument broke out over feederism and the response made it clear that some bbws are harsh on ssbbws in general. It basically boiled down to "If you're over 400 then you're automatically unhealthy because your bones can't handle the weight and all that." It was pretty annoying how close minded some people are even in this community.

As for the losing weight thing. I'm not shallow enough to dump someone just because they lost weight. Though I can understand losing enough weight so that they aren't physically attractive anymore. Though some relationships can overcome that. I personally wouldn't give up my girl no matter what her size is. I'm just lucky I have someone who actually likes her size.

Also, what really makes it a fetish? What is the definition of fetish? Is Feedism a fetish because it's not considered normal or something? I've always wondered about that.
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Old 03-15-2009, 10:45 PM   #180
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Originally Posted by exile in thighville View Post
fetishes are not meant to be understood on an individual take-this-one-or-leave-it basis; all we ask is that those without fetishes respect the notion that the vast majority of fetish-havers know how to reconcile their kink with the dangers of reality just as you would assume your next door neighbor is not a pedophile.
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all we ask is that those without fetishes respect the notion that the vast majority of fetish-havers know how to reconcile their kink with the dangers of reality just as you would assume your next door neighbor is not a pedophile.
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Old 03-16-2009, 05:14 AM   #181
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Originally Posted by Prince Dyscord View Post
Also, what really makes it a fetish? What is the definition of fetish? Is Feedism a fetish because it's not considered normal or something? I've always wondered about that.
I always thought something was a fetish when it was focused on as the object of lust out with the context of sex itself. Often without this stimulus the person cannot become turned on or the person becomes obsesses about the stimulus.
I guess in the case of feederism the feeder might become obsessed on weights, measurements the fattening of their partner as the main forcus of their sexual turn on's. In this case it would be a fetish. If someone saw feederism as a 'sideline' to sex then i guess it could be classed as just an aspect of that pesons sexuality or a kink.
I personally think the definition of fetish depends on how much time and emphisis is placed on the act itself.
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Old 03-16-2009, 06:51 PM   #182
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I always thought something was a fetish when it was focused on as the object of lust out with the context of sex itself. Often without this stimulus the person cannot become turned on or the person becomes obsesses about the stimulus.
Yep, you're right; technically that is the definition of a fetish, that the person who has the fetish cannot become aroused without it being present in some way. However, in common parlance it's used to denote a kink or turn-on that's believed to be (correctly or incorrectly) somewhat out of the ordinary.
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Old 03-16-2009, 09:26 PM   #183
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Yep, you're right; technically that is the definition of a fetish, that the person who has the fetish cannot become aroused without it being present in some way. However, in common parlance it's used to denote a kink or turn-on that's believed to be (correctly or incorrectly) somewhat out of the ordinary.
I figured there'd be two definitions. The techincal one and the one that is commonplace. I usually hear fetish to mean having a sexual desire that's out of the ordinary. A lot of people consider loving bbws to be a fetish.

Personally, I think the word is thrown around too much.
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Old 03-16-2009, 09:49 PM   #184
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I figured there'd be two definitions. The techincal one and the one that is commonplace. I usually hear fetish to mean having a sexual desire that's out of the ordinary. A lot of people consider loving bbws to be a fetish.

Personally, I think the word is thrown around too much.
I agree. Just because it's common doesn't make it technically sound.
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Old 03-19-2009, 07:11 AM   #185
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This are the cuenstions



Is a feeder merely a nurturing person who takes pleasure out of seeing a food lover getting pleasure out of food? This could be like a jewish/italian/spanish mother who gets gratification from nurturing her kin.

Is there more a sexual gratification from watching someone grow?

Do feeders want their partners to get fatter and not be able to go anywhere? are they insecure and want to disable their partners into being reliant on them?


The answer is YES a huge YES to the 1st n 2nd. Now the 3rd depends on the feeder, in my opinion if someone want to be that big, i would be her partner and i would take care of her, but id she tells me "hey i really dont want to keep growing i am big enought" so its ok, you cant be happy and your partner dont, is a thing of 2 persons and both have to be happy
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Old 03-22-2009, 11:06 AM   #186
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The answer to all of your questions is yes. Feederism manifests itself in different degrees in everybody, from mild to rediculous. You've got your closet case, your casual observers, your rabid adipose whore, your deviant psycopath, etc. just like you do with run of the mill vanilla sex. You've got your respectable folks and your crab infested perv all sharing the same desire for missionary sex with the lights off. Sex can be wonderful and it can be horrible too depending on who you are and who you ask.
I was going to say something like this.
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Old 03-22-2009, 12:29 PM   #187
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Feederism is fun mmm'kay.
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Old 03-22-2009, 12:43 PM   #188
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Feederism is fun mmm'kay.
Ugh.
I still can't rep you?

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Old 03-22-2009, 02:51 PM   #189
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Ugh.
I still can't rep you?

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Just rep me! I have a plastic pink jesus fortune telling dildo looking thing in my avitar ffs!!!
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Old 03-25-2009, 04:38 PM   #190
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Feederism is fun mmm'kay.
Oh yes, it is. I am so glad that I am a feeder and I regularily bring feedees out of the closet and into a joy they have not known. Feeding is also something so sensual and hot, so very special and exiting. An outsider, non feeder/feedee will never be able to understand it.

there is like a bond, I don't know how to say it, between a feeder and the feedee:
The feeder dreams of the feedee gaining weight and putting on fat, the feedee dreams of gaining weight and jiggling and getting fatter and gets hot at the realization that actually, the feeder finds this hot too, honestly and purely. Then, when the belly grows, she gets wider, softer and larger, they get both turned on so much by seeing the magic wonder of growing fat.

It is like a wonderland ;-)

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