Dimensions Forums  
Home Register Premium Membership Stories Ye Olde Library Health Issues Market Place Big Fashion

Go Back   Dimensions Forums > Discussion > GLBTQ



Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 04-14-2009, 09:22 AM   #26
mergirl
 
mergirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Scotland
Posts: 6,927
mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by chocolate desire View Post
My oldest daughter(28) is bi sexual and my youngest daughter(15) is showing signs of being a lesbian.All my children know that I have been in a relationship with a female before as well as my love for transgendered males.
I have no problem with my children's sexual choices but you youngest daughters father is vehemently against her being gay and gets very upset if I even mention it to him although I know for a fact that he has bi tendencies.
Again, its so refreshing to hear about a family that is so open about sexuality with each other. It just seems to healthy and non repressed. Its a pity your youngests father isnt so cool about her being gay. I always find it strange that even if someone has bi tendencies/has gay friends/is not homophobic in any way that they still might not entertain the fact that their child is gay.
The only reasons i can offer for this might be that the life of their child might not match the one they have in there head or that maby they are worried that being gay might make thier childs life harder. I cant think of any other reasons. Maby other people would know. I'm actually still trying to work out exactly why my mum had such an explosive reaction to me.
Anyway, you sound like such a lovely cool queer family!! You just need to get your daughters father to come out as bi and chill and it would be perfect! lol
mergirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2009, 02:18 PM   #27
Babygirlneedsu
 
Babygirlneedsu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: London, England
Posts: 197
Babygirlneedsu can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokesBabygirlneedsu can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokes
Default Have fostered the idea

Quote:
Originally Posted by mergirl View Post
Ahh.. lol. I havnt seen series 6 either yet, so no spoilers. Yes Pam greer is the only sexy thing about the l word. Its weird when i watch it with my non Fa queer friends.. and they all love "shaaaaaaane!" Even my girlfriend likes her! gah no!
Well, at 45, i think you can totally foster kids. I was actually thinking about that as an option. I'm 30 at the mo and my gf is 37 but neither of us are ready to actually have children.. I just think there are so many kids that have had a tough time of it and it might be nice to try to give them a home instead of having a biologically 'mine' child. I dont know though..its defo something to think about!
Anyway! yay! glad to have met a Pam greer fan!! She is lush!
Fostering is something that I have thought long and hard about in recent years and whilst I have not ruled it out , as a single working person, it would be difficult to do. A child who needs foster care probably arrives with a good deal of baggage, understandably, and may well need endless patience and attention before they settle in. Then assuming things go well, what a dreadful wrench it would be to part, although you would still be glad to see them returning home....I know of a sad case where a small 2 yr old girl had been fostered, from birth, by a large and loving family only then to be put up for adoption when a suitable couple came up. This strikes me as cruel and unnecessary as there are always people desparate to adopt newborns and that little girl must have been so bereft and confused to be ripped out of the bosom of her family like that.

There are financial considerations too, as the money paid to cover fostering is generous but not adequate to replace the lost salary from the work you gave up to be a foster mum. Were I a full time mum with a little brood of my own and in a partnership that also wanted to be involved with fostering, I think I would be better geared up to face the challenges emotionally and financially.

To be honest too, the only real time I ever wanted a child passionately, was when I first fell deeply in love with another woman and wanted to have that merging of our DNA that would be our own little perfect creation.....this technology exists I think but is as yet unethical / illegal according to the Law...or Stella Duffy leastwise wrote about it in one of her lesbian novels.....where DNA material is harvested somehow from the cells of both partners and grown in vitro....something like cloning I guess ?

So how about it Choccy D ? Your eggs....my womb !

I never knew just what a hotbed Tennessee was....must be something in the T down there [ T hee ]
Attached Images
File Type: jpg babies.jpg (2.5 KB, 66 views)
Babygirlneedsu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2009, 03:51 PM   #28
chocolate desire
 
chocolate desire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Dreamland
Posts: 1,688
chocolate desire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chocolate desire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chocolate desire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chocolate desire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chocolate desire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chocolate desire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chocolate desire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chocolate desire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chocolate desire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chocolate desire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chocolate desire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Thank you Mergirl...I do think it is very important for kids of age to know that is is ok if they have feelings for the same sex or something outside the norm. If not they might grow up to feel they are a freak or it is taboo and be ashamed for who or what they are.
Sweet Lucy I got badly scolded in Hyde park for thinking it was somewhat sick that a married lesbian couple carried each others embryos from the same sperm donor but If I was much much younger and you was much much closer I would jump at your offer if it had an ounce of sincerity to it lol. Right now the only eggs I want to share are scrambled along side toast in bed


Quote:
Originally Posted by mergirl View Post
Again, its so refreshing to hear about a family that is so open about sexuality with each other. It just seems to healthy and non repressed. Its a pity your youngests father isnt so cool about her being gay. I always find it strange that even if someone has bi tendencies/has gay friends/is not homophobic in any way that they still might not entertain the fact that their child is gay.
The only reasons i can offer for this might be that the life of their child might not match the one they have in there head or that maby they are worried that being gay might make thier childs life harder. I cant think of any other reasons. Maby other people would know. I'm actually still trying to work out exactly why my mum had such an explosive reaction to me.
Anyway, you sound like such a lovely cool queer family!! You just need to get your daughters father to come out as bi and chill and it would be perfect! lol
__________________
At last I am happy
chocolate desire is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2009, 03:54 PM   #29
mergirl
 
mergirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Scotland
Posts: 6,927
mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Hey, scrambled eggs sound pretty good babygirl?? x
mergirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2009, 04:40 PM   #30
Babygirlneedsu
 
Babygirlneedsu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: London, England
Posts: 197
Babygirlneedsu can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokesBabygirlneedsu can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokes
Default Yolking aside...

Dearest Renee, I would be devastated to think my little quip about the scrambled eggs had caused any further upset to you, as I am all too aware of the controversy boiling over in the WTWCT thread and have been incredulous and affronted that certain posters thought your right to an opinion opened you up to some very personal attacks when all you had done was express your own feeling...so rest assured that I remain yours both sweetly and sincerely and forgive me for a badly timed and eggs~asperating yolk......

And Mergirl...I don't think the eggs on toast were meant for me !!
Babygirlneedsu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2009, 05:21 PM   #31
chocolate desire
 
chocolate desire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Dreamland
Posts: 1,688
chocolate desire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chocolate desire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chocolate desire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chocolate desire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chocolate desire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chocolate desire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chocolate desire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chocolate desire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chocolate desire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chocolate desire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chocolate desire has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Silly woman of course the breakfast in bed was meant for you,You did not offend me at all in fact I smiled. Now get over here and kiss me while the wylde man has his head turned lol.
__________________
At last I am happy
chocolate desire is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2009, 05:24 PM   #32
mergirl
 
mergirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Scotland
Posts: 6,927
mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Babygirlneedsu View Post

And Mergirl...I don't think the eggs on toast were meant for me !!


Quote:
Originally Posted by chocolate desire View Post
Silly woman of course the breakfast in bed was meant for you,You did not offend me at all in fact I smiled. Now get over here and kiss me while the wylde man has his head turned lol.
Horray!!

See i toldz ya!!
mergirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2009, 06:09 PM   #33
Babygirlneedsu
 
Babygirlneedsu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: London, England
Posts: 197
Babygirlneedsu can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokesBabygirlneedsu can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokes
Default Woooohoo!

EI EI !!![ German for egg ]

All's well then that ends sunny side up and my brains are fried if I don't scramble into bed with my soft boiled beauty whilst her soldier boy is looking the other way !

Oh Renee , you do know how to butter a girl up!
Attached Images
File Type: gif egg.gif (79.0 KB, 55 views)
File Type: gif kiss5.gif (7.2 KB, 56 views)
Babygirlneedsu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2009, 02:23 PM   #34
JohnWylde
Gentleman John
 
JohnWylde's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: England now after a glorious hot summer
Posts: 344
JohnWylde does more than just post hot picsJohnWylde does more than just post hot picsJohnWylde does more than just post hot pics
Default Well......

Well meine schone kleine madchen

( just pretend there are umlauts there!!)

A word of warning dear Luce.

Renee just doesn't like her eggs sunny side up!

But I am sure she likes you.

John



Quote:
Originally Posted by Babygirlneedsu View Post
EI EI !!![ German for egg ]

All's well then that ends sunny side up and my brains are fried if I don't scramble into bed with my soft boiled beauty whilst her soldier boy is looking the other way !

Oh Renee , you do know how to butter a girl up!
__________________
Dreaming of warmer weather right now
JohnWylde is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2009, 02:59 PM   #35
Tina
Older and wiser now
 
Tina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: location, location.
Posts: 15,215
Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

My 'adopted' son is gay. I'm a real believer in family of choice, and he's part of my family.

Rob and my son, Jim, went to middle school together. He's a year ahead of my son, and they never got close enough to hang out, but were friendly. A bout 2-3 years after middle school, my son and Rob ran into each other at the store -- Jim brought him out to the car to meet me. We talked for a few minutes and he seemed nice. They connected and Rob started coming over after that. About 6-7 months later, Rob asked if he could come live with us. Evidently, his parents were kicking him out the minute he turned 18, and while he had a job and all, he wasn't yet ready to afford his own place. I said that it would be fine, and he moved in.

Through talking, I found out that his mother and step-dad were Jehovah's Witnesses. His mother loved him, but she couldn't accept his orientation, and neither could his dad, though his dad was more low-key about it. She kept on him about going back to church, and at times really being mean to him. Rob didn't want to go back to church, understandably. Church told him that he was an unnatural freak who was going against God and would go to hell. His mother put him through so much hell, I was so angry at her.

Rob and I have kind of a psychic connection, like I do with Jim. We sometimes can look at each other and know what the other is thinking. We'd be in the store together, be separated (like, I'm in produce and he's getting milk) and I could feel him approaching. I'd look back and there he'd be.

He moved out after 6 months or so, but since when he started living with us, I have invited him to family holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve and Christmas. He got an Easter basket on Easter along with Jim (I don't care how old one gets, Easter baskets and Christmas stockings are fun). He has some problems, and at times angered and frustrated me, but Jim and I have been the one constant in his life; he has difficulty maintaining relationships, which I understand. Over the years he came to live with us several times off and on, and we help each other. He was great with computers, and when I'd need his help he'd be there. Whenever he needed me, I'd be there for him. I love Rob, and everyone who knows me knows that Rob is like my son.

I've been in Canada for just over a year and I miss him, though we got to have Christmas together when my husband and I went to CA for Christmas, and we keep in touch by email and phone as much as possible. I'd love for him to be able to visit. Canada is much more progressive than the U.S. when it comes to not marginalizing those of differing orientations, and has a very vibrant gay community in Montreal.

He's finally accepted himself more and more as he gets older, and came out in a paper he wrote for a speech he gave in his speech class that was, in many ways, about me and our relationship. I want to tear up just thinking about it, it touches me so.

I'd always told Jim, since his youngest years, that whoever he was I would love him. As he got older and understood, I told him that if he felt he was gay or bisexual to not be afraid to tell me, because I'd love him just as much. And I would. It perplexes me, and upsets me, that some parents put restrictions on their love, respect and show of affection towards children who are not straight. I don't get it, but I do hope that as we go along that things will change. I won't bring up the role of religion here, as this post is long enough as it is, but I think that so often it's damaging.

Anyway, this is Jim, on the left, me and Rob, on Christmas night when the family went out to our traditional dinner at the Madonna Inn, 2005. I love my boys.

Decided to edit out the pic, since it's a public board and I didn't get to ask Rob or my son first. He's out at work and other places, but the small city I lived in, where he lives, can still very much have a cow town mentality, and I don't want to cause him any potential problems from assholes and idiots.
__________________
"I'm really tired of a fat woman's sexuality being just another fat joke." -- Felicia/Supero

"It's my belief that these sheep are laborin' under the misapprehension that they're birds. Observe their be'avior. Take for a start the sheeps' tendency to 'op about the field on their back legs. Now witness their attmpts to fly from tree to tree. Notice that they do not so much fly as... plummet." -- Monty Python's Flying Circus

Last edited by Tina; 04-15-2009 at 03:06 PM.
Tina is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2009, 03:00 PM   #36
Babygirlneedsu
 
Babygirlneedsu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: London, England
Posts: 197
Babygirlneedsu can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokesBabygirlneedsu can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokes
Exclamation Achtung !

Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnWylde View Post
Well meine schone kleine madchen

( just pretend there are umlauts there!!)

A word of warning dear Luce.

Renee just doesn't like her eggs sunny side up!

But I am sure she likes you.

John
Alles in Ordnung - kEIN Problem !

I seem now to recall DIMly something she posted previously about your bad yolks that first afternoon I stumbled on you two and the trans atlantic pot boiler which is now Renee and Johann der Wildmann.

Also......Vorsprung ohne Spiegeleier......so geht es besser !

As long as Renee still likes her Luce, the sun will always be up.
Babygirlneedsu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2009, 03:12 PM   #37
mergirl
 
mergirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Scotland
Posts: 6,927
mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tina View Post
My 'adopted' son is gay. I'm a real believer in family of choice, and he's part of my family.

Rob and my son, Jim, went to middle school together. He's a year ahead of my son, and they never got close enough to hang out, but were friendly. A bout 2-3 years after middle school, my son and Rob ran into each other at the store -- Jim brought him out to the car to meet me. We talked for a few minutes and he seemed nice. They connected and Rob started coming over after that. About 6-7 months later, Rob asked if he could come live with us. Evidently, his parents were kicking him out the minute he turned 18, and while he had a job and all, he wasn't yet ready to afford his own place. I said that it would be fine, and he moved in.

Through talking, I found out that his mother and step-dad were Jehovah's Witnesses. His mother loved him, but she couldn't accept his orientation, and neither could his dad, though his dad was more low-key about it. She kept on him about going back to church, and at times really being mean to him. Rob didn't want to go back to church, understandably. Church told him that he was an unnatural freak who was going against God and would go to hell. His mother put him through so much hell, I was so angry at her.

Rob and I have kind of a psychic connection, like I do with Jim. We sometimes can look at each other and know what the other is thinking. We'd be in the store together, be separated (like, I'm in produce and he's getting milk) and I could feel him approaching. I'd look back and there he'd be.

He moved out after 6 months or so, but since when he started living with us, I have invited him to family holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve and Christmas. He got an Easter basket on Easter along with Jim (I don't care how old one gets, Easter baskets and Christmas stockings are fun). He has some problems, and at times angered and frustrated me, but Jim and I have been the one constant in his life; he has difficulty maintaining relationships, which I understand. Over the years he came to live with us several times off and on, and we help each other. He was great with computers, and when I'd need his help he'd be there. Whenever he needed me, I'd be there for him. I love Rob, and everyone who knows me knows that Rob is like my son.

I've been in Canada for just over a year and I miss him, though we got to have Christmas together when my husband and I went to CA for Christmas, and we keep in touch by email and phone as much as possible. I'd love for him to be able to visit. Canada is much more progressive than the U.S. when it comes to not marginalizing those of differing orientations, and has a very vibrant gay community in Montreal.

He's finally accepted himself more and more as he gets older, and came out in a paper he wrote for a speech he gave in his speech class that was, in many ways, about me and our relationship. I want to tear up just thinking about it, it touches me so.

I'd always told Jim, since his youngest years, that whoever he was I would love him. As he got older and understood, I told him that if he felt he was gay or bisexual to not be afraid to tell me, because I'd love him just as much. And I would. It perplexes me, and upsets me, that some parents put restrictions on their love, respect and show of affection towards children who are not straight. I don't get it, but I do hope that as we go along that things will change. I won't bring up the role of religion here, as this post is long enough as it is, but I think that so often it's damaging.

Anyway, this is Jim, on the left, me and Rob, on Christmas night when the family went out to our traditional dinner at the Madonna Inn, 2005. I love my boys.

Decided to edit out the pic, since it's a public board and I didn't get to ask Rob or my son first. He's out at work and other places, but the small city I lived in, where he lives, can still very much have a cow town mentality, and I don't want to cause him any potential problems from assholes and idiots.
You all look great. Although its really sad Rob's parents wern't accepting of him, i'm glad he had you guys to love and look after him. I just can't understand why anyone could chose religion over their child..i dont think i will ever be able to understand that actually. Thank you for sharing your story. xx
mergirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2009, 06:32 PM   #38
Tina
Older and wiser now
 
Tina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: location, location.
Posts: 15,215
Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Thank you, Mer. Glad you got to see the photo before I edited the post. I don't understand it either. I think that it's so ingrained in some people that they can't choose a different way of believing. Rob understands that his mother loves him, but that because of her beliefs feels that he will go to 'hell' or whatever they believe in, and will not be able to join her in 'heaven' or whatever they believe in, and so will be separated.

And hence another sad example of fear causing the exact thing that is being feared in the first place, or self-fulling prophecy, because they ARE separated emotionally because of her beliefs and wanting him to believe as she does and then somehow just choose not to be gay. There are so many things wrong with that I wouldn't even know where to start.

One time, after Rob had been on his own for a while, he lost his apartment. By then his parents had moved, and when he asked if he could stay with them for a while, they pointed him towards a tent in the back yard. It was Winter. Granted, Winter in California is MUCH milder than Winter here, but it's still damned cold at night. Also, he needed to shower at campgrounds etc. Can you imagine doing that to your child? I can't tell you the number of times I've wanted to kick her ass. After a while of that he came and stayed with us for a while again. Being homosexual or lesbian is not an aberration; it is natural in nature, including human beings, I don't care what minds clouded by dogma say.
__________________
"I'm really tired of a fat woman's sexuality being just another fat joke." -- Felicia/Supero

"It's my belief that these sheep are laborin' under the misapprehension that they're birds. Observe their be'avior. Take for a start the sheeps' tendency to 'op about the field on their back legs. Now witness their attmpts to fly from tree to tree. Notice that they do not so much fly as... plummet." -- Monty Python's Flying Circus
Tina is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2009, 12:59 AM   #39
Cors
Delurking
 
Cors's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Europe
Posts: 2,762
Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Thanks for sharing Tina, that is so sweet! It is heartbreaking how Rob's own parents can treat him like that, but it is wonderful of you to allow him to stay with your family. It sounds like you two have an amazing relationship! Does Jim ever get jealous?

I wish there are more parents like you out there. My parents are conservative fundamentalist Christians who probably loved me in their own ways but couldn't accept my orientation.
Cors is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2009, 07:06 AM   #40
Tad
mostly harmless
 
Tad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 12,420
Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Although this shows up often with children who are gay or bi or transexual, just to remind that there are parents intolerant of all sorts of things. I've known people rejected because they got divorced, or refused an arranged marriage, for example. It is one thing that just makes my blood boil.
__________________
Criticism is so often nothing more than the eye garrulously denouncing the shape of the peephole that gives access to hidden treasure.
-Djuna Barnes, writer and artist
Tad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2009, 08:59 AM   #41
mergirl
 
mergirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Scotland
Posts: 6,927
mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by edx View Post
Although this shows up often with children who are gay or bi or transexual, just to remind that there are parents intolerant of all sorts of things. I've known people rejected because they got divorced, or refused an arranged marriage, for example. It is one thing that just makes my blood boil.
Right, most of the things you mentioned though are usually because religious beliefs somehow dont fit in with gay/divorced/non aranged marrage.whatever.
To be honest for a long time when i was younger i had such a problem with religion and viewed those who were religious with suspicion. I thought that because i had bad experiences in the past with religious folk i would again in the future..which is dumb, but i was a kid and to me 'religious doctrine' seemed steeped in 'me hate' (teenagers are very me me me, as we all know..lol).
I think the defining moment was waking up next to a girl and her saying 'shit i need to go to mass'. That was very funny..but since then i have had a plethora of non gay hating religious friends. I dont think there needs to be a dichotomy of religion v's The church. Although, the church does find it hard to move forward naturally, people and the world dont. Actually i even have a really good friend who is muslim and thinks that being gay is a sin. Which is a shame because he is a 'pure flamer'. He chose religion over his sexuality i know..and i know lots of people who have. Also i know a few gay people who are religious.
All i'm saying is that i have realised time after time that being religious isn's always a prerequisite to being homophobic. Its just unfortunate when it is.
mergirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2009, 11:19 AM   #42
Tina
Older and wiser now
 
Tina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: location, location.
Posts: 15,215
Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

So true, Ed. I won't go into the whole religion thing, because I'll start ranting, but I think that religion is at the foundation of a lot of that thought. Many religions don't believe in divorce, though that doesn't really stop most people...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cors View Post
Thanks for sharing Tina, that is so sweet! It is heartbreaking how Rob's own parents can treat him like that, but it is wonderful of you to allow him to stay with your family. It sounds like you two have an amazing relationship! Does Jim ever get jealous?

I wish there are more parents like you out there. My parents are conservative fundamentalist Christians who probably loved me in their own ways but couldn't accept my orientation.
Thank you, Cors. I grew up with more guy friends than girl friends, so I'm very comfortable around males (females, too, but I didn't start really appreciating my female friends until a bit later in life). I think that that experience helped. Also, I'm very good at mentally putting myself back in time to various ages and being able to realize and relate to teens and young adults, because I can very well remember how I felt in various situations. That helps me to be able to relate to them and not just spout platitudes.

Jim did sometimes get jealous. Our house was the hang out place, where his friends would come and they'd play Magic the Gathering, video games, stuff like that. I didn't mind, as long as they weren't destructive, drinking, drugging, etc. I was permissive in some ways, as I always tried to choose my battles and not police them for every little thing. I've always been a proponent of letting one's child/ren's friends come over, because that way I know better what they are doing. It can be an inconvenience, but it's small compared to what can happen without adult supervision, and some adults are very bad at supervising.

Anyway, especially when he was a teen, Jim's friends seemed to have troubled home lives. Alcohol involved, dysfunction, and in one case, the boy and his younger brother lived with their mother, who was developmentally disabled and had no ability to really raise her children. They raised themselves. The mother got food stamps and would give the kids their 'share' of the food stamps and let them buy their own food. What kind of foods do you think kids are going to buy? This friend was skinny as a rail when I first met him, and wouldn't talk when I was around. Not long after, his brother went to live with their grandparents and he was old enough by then to take care of himself, but often didn't have enough food, so I'd feed the boys as they needed, sometimes cooking for them, sometimes letting them make their own food.

I hung out in my room a lot, where my computer was, and would let them have the living room, but they all knew that my door was always open to them, and what would sometimes make Jim a little jealous was that sometimes they'd come in and talk. They had no one to talk to who understood, and given my own screwy upbringing, I understand a lot. So sometimes one of them would come over, talk to me for a while and then go see him. Or sometimes come over, talk with me, say Hi to Jim and then leave, but that was unusual. Usually in the course of them being at the house, they'd trickle in for a chat.

But Jim and I talked about it and he understood, because he and I have always had a great talking relationship, that they needed to talk to someone who was more of a nurturing figure who could understand and who had been through some of the things that Jim hadn't been through himself. But also someone who wasn't a male friend. I love those boys, and helped to raise probably about 10 of them. Some lived with us off and on for a while if needed. Most would just stay a night or two, but seemed to be over most days. I think that I was meant to do that, because of my own experience with understanding and being comfortable around men. I think that was meant to prepare me for that, and that it's one of the things I was put on this Earth for. I still love them all and miss them. Many moved away from the area I lived in before moving here, and I think about them and wonder how they're doing all the time now. Most are almost 30 by now and that just blows me away. My own son will be 28 this August. I really love young people and my heart breaks for the ones who don't have loving parents, or a loving parent. One is enough, if s/he is loving. IMO.

Sorry to run on. I've been thinking about my boys a lot lately and have been missing them. Wishing the whole group could have a reunion one day, so I can see the men they are now.
__________________
"I'm really tired of a fat woman's sexuality being just another fat joke." -- Felicia/Supero

"It's my belief that these sheep are laborin' under the misapprehension that they're birds. Observe their be'avior. Take for a start the sheeps' tendency to 'op about the field on their back legs. Now witness their attmpts to fly from tree to tree. Notice that they do not so much fly as... plummet." -- Monty Python's Flying Circus

Last edited by Tina; 04-16-2009 at 11:23 AM.
Tina is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:50 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright Dimensions Magazine. All rights reserved worldwide.