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Old 03-15-2009, 01:21 AM   #1
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Exclamation Coming out - your experience and advice

This thread is about accepting your feederism/foodism/whatever and telling your frinds/family/lover about it.

Let's start with a little background.
I'm a recovered anorexic who had big problems with diet pills at one point. I was like that because fat people turned me on, but I was very afraid and unwilling to accept my desires, so I tried to hide from them. Slowly, I realized that it wasn't just that I liked fat people, but I wanted to be fat, more than anything.
I'm very small, very thin. Everyone in my family is, and we all eat like normal people. I guess my metabolism is just very high. For almost a year I've been doing everything I can to gain weight, but failing miserably. My life calls for lots of walking too, which does nothing to help. I have gained a good amount of fat on my body, whereas I used to be really bony. But I've gained no weight, and haven't gotten any larger really.
I think my lover knows that I'm like this, an aspiring feedee that is, but we've never openly spoken about. We were both skinny when we met, and when I started trying to gain weight, he started to gain weight. He's kind of chubby now, which is freaking great.
I want to come out to him. Formally. You know, like basically say, "I want you to feed me night and day and make me into a fat fat girl." But every time I try, I end up saying something else, or getting really flustered.

I need some advice. He's away visiting family right now, and I told him I'm going to tell him a secret when he gets home, I plan to try to gain some weight before he comes home and come out to him then. Please tell me about your experiences coming out, or trying to gain weight when you're thin. Or give me advice on ways come out to my boyfriend and how to break my fast metabolism and gain weight.
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Old 03-15-2009, 07:55 AM   #2
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Hello!

Congrats on beating anorexia and accepting your desires. It is great that your boyfriend is receptive to the idea of his own weight gain. I don't have much advice on coming out to your partner about being into feeding, but I remember seeing a couple of similar threads here if you do a search. Either way, take it slowly and I hope it goes well for you.

I don't think there is much you can do to break your metabolism. I am naturally small too and my attempts at weight gain have all failed miserably. I gain a tiny bit when I eat for two people and stop working out, but as soon as I resume my usual habits the weight just melts right off. Eat 5-6 large meals a day, snack on calorie-dense food throughout the day and drink as many calories as you can. It takes a while to get used to the constant bloating and discomfort and be prepared, food can get so expensive!
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Old 03-15-2009, 08:19 AM   #3
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I too want to congratulate you on overcoming anorexia. A family member of mine had that disease and also overcame it but I know what and unbelievable struggle it was... and still is to a certain extent.

With that said, I am always amazed when people say they can't gain weight as I have always had the opposite problem; I can't so much as watch a Burger King commercial without putting on weight.

I just wish I could take a little bit of my "problem" and give it to you to help your "problem".
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Old 03-15-2009, 01:40 PM   #4
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Thanks for the support.
>w<
Yeah, it's the same for me, every time I gain any weight, I could go on a walk for like 2 minutes and come back and be skinnier.
It sucks.
Also I'm pretty poor and usually resort to stealing food because I freaking love food.
LAAAMMME!
One of these days I'm just gonna buy some weight gain powder and eat the whole tub of it.
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Old 03-17-2009, 05:22 PM   #5
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congratulations... I wish you the best of luck.

Here is my pathetic story haha-

I've wanted my girlfriend to know about my preference for a while, but I guess I sort of just wanted her to figure it out for herself by piecing together the little clues I leave here and there. But one day, she is on my computer and sees bunch of pages from this site on the History. So she comes into the other room where I am and asks me about it. Now, I could tell straight off that she was extremely disturbed/confused/upset about it which made me so nervous that... I lied about it and totally denied everything. She didn't believe me at first and told me that she almost started crying when she saw it because it freaked her out so much and was about to break up with me. I really couldn't believe how upset she was. We are engaged and love each other more than anything... I dunno

I never really had a very good explanation for why there were all those pages from this site in the history bar, so I sorta feel like she must have known. After the initial shock wore off, she started saying things like, "if you like fat girls, just tell me," and that she thought it was a little weird because the whole website thing made it seem obsessive or something. But after denying it like crazy, I couldn't just be like, "well, yeah i do. I was on the site." Her reaction just completely terrified me and made me feel so awful.

After a few days, she just kind of dropped it. It's been months now and neither of us have mentioned anything about it again. I don't know what to do now really... she's not exactly a thin girl- like 5'4'' and 185-190 lbs. and when she says anything about losing weight or whatever, I either just stay quiet or say she doesn't need to and that I think she's beautiful how she is. That's about as much as I can do to let on about how I really feel...

Not sure if anybody will have any advice for me, but it still feels pretty good to get that out of me.
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Old 03-17-2009, 05:34 PM   #6
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congratulations... I wish you the best of luck.

Here is my pathetic story haha-

I've wanted my girlfriend to know about my preference for a while, but I guess I sort of just wanted her to figure it out for herself by piecing together the little clues I leave here and there. But one day, she is on my computer and sees bunch of pages from this site on the History. So she comes into the other room where I am and asks me about it. Now, I could tell straight off that she was extremely disturbed/confused/upset about it which made me so nervous that... I lied about it and totally denied everything. She didn't believe me at first and told me that she almost started crying when she saw it because it freaked her out so much and was about to break up with me. I really couldn't believe how upset she was. We are engaged and love each other more than anything... I dunno

I never really had a very good explanation for why there were all those pages from this site in the history bar, so I sorta feel like she must have known. After the initial shock wore off, she started saying things like, "if you like fat girls, just tell me," and that she thought it was a little weird because the whole website thing made it seem obsessive or something. But after denying it like crazy, I couldn't just be like, "well, yeah i do. I was on the site." Her reaction just completely terrified me and made me feel so awful.

After a few days, she just kind of dropped it. It's been months now and neither of us have mentioned anything about it again. I don't know what to do now really... she's not exactly a thin girl- like 5'4'' and 185-190 lbs. and when she says anything about losing weight or whatever, I either just stay quiet or say she doesn't need to and that I think she's beautiful how she is. That's about as much as I can do to let on about how I really feel...

Not sure if anybody will have any advice for me, but it still feels pretty good to get that out of me.

Tell her. Tell her what you just told us... "look, you were so worried and freaked out that it scared me... but I'm just the same guy you love, I just happen to prefer bigger girls to smaller ones. I don't expect you to be anything you're not, and not all of what you saw on that site is about me... I'd be glad to answer any questions you have."

Period.

Honestly... don't live with this stupid shit between you. The door is already open, just step through it. If this is a fundamental part of you, you should share that. If she rejects that out of hand, even though you expect NOTHING of her at all and have never pressured her in any way to be anything other than the girl you love - then it would make me wonder...

Good luck, you seem to love her a lot and I think if she loves you equally, she'd rather know more than wonder about whether you're lying and why you're lying. She saw it all, she's not stupid. I'd never believe you, and the lie between us would eat at me.
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Old 03-17-2009, 05:44 PM   #7
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Who you are is who you are love. No denying that. If you have pretty much decided you want to gain then you've already made your decision. Honesty is best. You say your boyfriend has already gained and likely suspects your inclinations. Just go for it. Be yourself. From what you say it sounds like he would probably be cool...if not thrilled!
What I have found from my own experiences is that when a girl I was seeing started to gain and I told them about my preference they were relieved. Maybe that will be the case with you. Regardless of that, it is only healthy to live as you want to.
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Old 03-17-2009, 06:35 PM   #8
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Tell her. Tell her what you just told us... "look, you were so worried and freaked out that it scared me... but I'm just the same guy you love, I just happen to prefer bigger girls to smaller ones. I don't expect you to be anything you're not, and not all of what you saw on that site is about me... I'd be glad to answer any questions you have."

Period.

Honestly... don't live with this stupid shit between you. The door is already open, just step through it. If this is a fundamental part of you, you should share that. If she rejects that out of hand, even though you expect NOTHING of her at all and have never pressured her in any way to be anything other than the girl you love - then it would make me wonder...

Good luck, you seem to love her a lot and I think if she loves you equally, she'd rather know more than wonder about whether you're lying and why you're lying. She saw it all, she's not stupid. I'd never believe you, and the lie between us would eat at me.

Thank you for the advice. I really want to tell her because it does eat at me that she doesn't know and that I lied to her. Once I get a good opportunity I hope I can work up enough courage to say what I need to say.
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Old 03-17-2009, 09:26 PM   #9
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Tell her. Tell her what you just told us... "look, you were so worried and freaked out that it scared me... but I'm just the same guy you love, I just happen to prefer bigger girls to smaller ones. I don't expect you to be anything you're not, and not all of what you saw on that site is about me... I'd be glad to answer any questions you have."

Period.

Honestly... don't live with this stupid shit between you. The door is already open, just step through it. If this is a fundamental part of you, you should share that. If she rejects that out of hand, even though you expect NOTHING of her at all and have never pressured her in any way to be anything other than the girl you love - then it would make me wonder...

Good luck, you seem to love her a lot and I think if she loves you equally, she'd rather know more than wonder about whether you're lying and why you're lying. She saw it all, she's not stupid. I'd never believe you, and the lie between us would eat at me.

AM, I gotta say - this is great advice. Well thought out - just perfect.
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Old 03-27-2009, 03:44 PM   #10
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Default My past

I was also anorexic, and I think for the same reason....really fascinated with the attraction of letting myself get fat, and deliberately gaining weight and I think that scared me.
So what happened with me was I beat anorexia. And then I started eating, and I put on weight. And that scared me, so I started down the bulimia avenue. YUCK! I did this because I wanted to eat and get fat, but then i'd get worried about getting fat and what people would think.
So recently i've become an active gainer (having gained 12Kg), i'm eating heaps more and wanting more weight to come on me. So recently i've also started binging again when I have one of those days where I come home and just want to eat, but now instead of purging I am happy in the knowledge that all this food is going to increase my weight and make me fat.
I'm looking forward to the next 10-12 Kg weight gain, because that should tip me over the line from chubby to looking fat, and people wont be able to miss it.
Good luck with your journey.
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Old 06-24-2009, 03:25 PM   #11
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I wish you good luck and hope you share your progress with us.
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Old 06-27-2009, 08:26 PM   #12
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To everyone who is afraid to just lay it on the line.

I urge you to just tell your significant other. if they love you they will totally understand, and even if they don't understand they will try to understand, if it ends up being something that is way to much for them to handle then maybe you shouldn't be with that person anyway.

This is one of those small things that will sit there in the back corner of your life and slowly try to creep out, and if your already feeling like you cant discuss it now, then what happens the next time it comes up, you either admit to lying about it before or you start the dance all over again trying to cover up what is obviously an interest at this point.

Iv been there i was in a relationship and i kept these things from her i felt like a freak, i felt like she would never understand. then i met someone who did understand, and the whole thing was out and i was exploring and thinking about it. i did finally come clean to my wife about it as an effort to try to save an already failing marriage, she Didn't fully understand, but she tried, she even came up with stories about secretly eating before coming home to have dinner with me. and although i appreciated the effort, it wasn't her style and it was too little to late. and we divorced (please understand the coming out wasn't what ended the marriage)

Now i'm with a woman whom i trust completely and we make a point not to keep things from each other. and not just about feeder/feedee weight gain stuff, anything at all if she wanted me to make love to her while dressed up as Barney the Dinosaur. although i would feel incredibly silly i would do it for her and i would not make a big deal and call her a freak over it. because she has her own desires as i have my own desires, some are weird to you, some are weird to me, but they are all normal to someone.

Don't start your relationship out with lies and cover up's. It will be so much easier if you just tell them what gets your motor running. you never know she may hate having to diet and workout to keep a certain figure, imagine how incredible the news would be that you prefer fat woman. she doesnt have to gain 200 pounds but she can stop the diets and workouts and know you will still love her if not desire her more.


P.S a huge congrats to those that Beat Anorexia and Bulimia
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Old 06-27-2009, 09:29 PM   #13
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When i was a kid i was bulimic for about a year. I know what its like. Now I weigh 220. As for your metabosism. Your probably very active. Try not to run around so much throughout the day. My ex and i used to sleep and carress each other all day on the weekend. As to put on weight what i do is eat four meals a day of high caloric foods, and fill my stomach to capacity. Like burgers, fries, tacos, pizza, aka fattening foods. As with ur bf, talk to him, if you know he likes your weight gain. You'l never know each others desires until you talk about them. Getting them out there no matter what the reaction is. And it can be done smoothly. My ex was a big girl and she was embarrassed sometimes about her weight. What i would tell her is "I love your body." Oh and take things slowly. The key is to grow in harmony together. you guys don't want to end up stuffing each other sick.

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Old 06-29-2009, 12:23 AM   #14
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Default Out of the "Pantry"

Ah, yes, I remember this problem and these feelings very well.

Like many others on the forums, I didn't start my journey "out of the pantry". I was afraid, I was nervous, I was ashamed. At the time, I didn't know about the community, and didn't have any form of support system. So, simply coming into my own was a very difficult thing to do. I remember having all of these complex emotions, and being rather unsure of where my feelings were leading me or what I was really attracted to.

In all honesty, it took me years to come out of the pantry as a feeder. It was no easy task by any means. There were certainly a lot of set backs between me and the "outdoors". Outside of my own paranoia and fear of a lack of acceptance, there were negative outside influences too.

An example being, the horror movie "Feed" came out (avoid seeing it at all costs), and I rented it to see what it was all about. Having been horribly disgusted at the poor quality of film making, I returned the film rather disappointed. Despite my advice, my best friend rented the film (being an avid bad movie watcher). He watched the horror movie with his entire family. The next time I went over, the looks of disgust I received from him and his family were extremely off putting, for they associated me with the behavior of the psychopath depicted in the film.

It took a long time to get over their reactions. And now, it is not a subject my friend discusses with me ever. I will not deny that it hurts to feel that rejection, but the fact is it is a real reaction. That is how they really feel, and I can accept that about them, I would rather have the truth about them, then blind myself with a lie.

A year and a half later, I had met someone who was a wonderful support system and stepping stone. She really helped me get out and stay out of the pantry. And despite later problems between me and her, I will always thank her for holding that door open, encouraging me to walk out.

So now, I am out, and happy. It feels so much better to not be living ashamed of what I am into. My words of advice:

No matter what trials or humiliations you may feel you are facing, in the end, you have no need to truly be afraid of them. Anyone who ever attempts to make you feel bad about yourself, should take a good long look in the mirror, because they too have something they are too afraid to admit to anyone else. Be strong, be proud, live happy.
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Old 06-29-2009, 11:30 PM   #15
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Default Looking for help on same topic

I posted this on another feed but found this one just minutes ago. Here's what I posted just a few minutes ago elsewhere on this site:

My profile would read youngish boomer, writer, New Orleans.

I've been enjoying this site for months now. My longtime but growing love of ample, supple flesh has left me with questions. I spent the first half of my life a 90-pound weakling, the last half a six footer with nondescript build, probably on the scrawny end of most standards.

After reading the stories and forums on this site, I know what I want, what I have to do -- gain weight -- but I don't know how to go about putting on at least 60 pounds, half muscle and half flesh of a more loving sort.

I know what the stories say, but I was looking for more real world experience. I want to become a long-term member of this club, the first I've ever been interested working to join. No judgments, just acceptance. Freaking liberating!!!

Down to it: What kind of supplements are recommended to get me where I want to go as quickly and safely as possible? What kind of exercises should I try to build a foundation of muscle before I really try to add weight?

While living out my longtime fantasy, I also want to somehow bring up with my wife about regaining the weight she lost the last few years, first 15 pounds about two years ago and now another 20 pounds in the last few months. She's extremely proud of her weight loss, so I haven't said anything. Not certain I should, but I LOVED how she looked at 160-175 (fluctuated depending upon how long after pregnancy) on her sturdy frame. Her curves were fantastic, her belly just the right size, her beautifully shaped, pillowy soft breasts something I want, need to see again.

If you made it all the way through my rambling, please tell me how I should go about it. I'll try anything that doesn't put my immediate health in jeopardy.
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Old 07-08-2009, 02:35 PM   #16
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I answered this question in my column:

http://www.geocities.com/doctorfeede...ve1.html#Funny

The guy said he took my advice and it worked...she actually gained weight for him.
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