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Old 11-25-2009, 08:06 AM   #1
OneWickedAngel
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Default How it all blew up....

This is an honest discourse, but we were on the verge of derailing the BBW Confessions board... let this continue here.

Quote:
Originally Posted by happyface83 View Post
This is a deep post because I know most everyone on here hates me. It hurts trying to connect with your fellow BBW sisters and they dislike you. And I'm going to write it here since this seems to be the most intimate board on the site. People call me a troll, but I am not.

During the days, I feel so great and happy-I live my life, tutor kids in school, take classes, spend time with my love. But at night I feel dark, insecure and gloomy. I have made some accomplishments in my life, but sometimes I feel worthless and dislike myself. I hate myself sometimes for being a jerk online. After I let it out, I feel depressed again. I just want everyone to have support for me. I'm learning to control being upset and sometimes I take my frustrations online and offline I am more quiet and nice. I know I may say harsh words but it is really nothing personal and I never mean it. I want to apologize for offending anyone. I'm still working on fully loving myself at 26.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BubbleButtBabe View Post
Congrats Ella!!

Hope you feel better soon Ditzy.


Sorry Lulu but being friends does not work no matter how hard you try,hugsss..

HappyFace,number one do away with the bold large fonts..No one can really read it when it is that big and bold,plus no more colors please..If you know that you are being a jerk online then I would suggest stop being one..Number two and this one might be the hardest one(I imagine I will get flack for it),stop using race as a way to answer something..We here have gone through the wringer,it doesn't matter the color of our skin,what matters is that we come here to join in camaraderie and discuss how we feel about how the outside world perceives us..We come to discuss life in general and how we deal with it..We all want to join in the sisterhood and be good to one another..Number three,if you know you are being harsh then it is time to walk away from the comp screen and do something else until you either calm down or can say things in a constructive way..I don't think you are a troll personally..I think you are someone craving attention so much that you are going about it the wrong way to get the attention you seek..It seems to me that you are trying to be harsh so someone,anyone will notice and answer you..That is just the way I see it..I am sorry if it upsets you and I do not mean it to..I just think you need to step back and take a long look at somethings...
Quote:
Originally Posted by happyface83 View Post
Thank you. I live in a surburban area and I feel that being mixed race/dark skinned people look down upon me. I feel people judge me on what they see on BET and stereotypes of dark-skinned people. I'm working on shedding that thinking.


I feel that if we talk about sexual orietation no one gets defensive. But when I bring up racial issues, some people jump and become defensive. Why is that? The same male poster who started a thread about sexual orientation, became angry and insulting towards me because I put up a post about race relations. What sense does that make?

When I first joined this site, I was a pretty, calm poster wanting to connect with other BBWs until I said something from the bottom of my heart of what I think about a certain subject and two females jumped at me. It was throughout that I started becoming more angry at this board because people were jumping at me for every little thing, no matter how innocent, they think I have a double meaning. I find that this board isn't a very welcoming place.

I noticed too, that people responded more to a 'negative' post. When I'm just being funny and sweet, no one says anything. So I'm branded a negative poster because they see what they want to see.

If I say something that is considered 'negative', and someone jumps at me for it, that makes me even angrier. That tag team match and insulting just makes me madder. When people come at you with pitched forks, I draw my claws in defense. And these women know who they are, that was pretty catty of them. What does it solve insulting and attacking me for an opinion? That doesn't help matters.

But thank you for your support, I'm trying to work on having a happier outlook on the boards. It's a work in progress..........
Quote:
Originally Posted by mergirl View Post
I'm not sure why people should get defensive when talking about sexual orientation and i don't see the comparison!?. Anyway, there was a thread in hydepark a while ago and we talked all about racism. There was no defence or anger just discussion. Though, if you attack people (regardless of race) they will be defensive (regardless of what you are talking about).
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Old 11-25-2009, 08:10 AM   #2
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Default

HappyFace83, You started off nice enough introducing yourself in the pictures threads. Next thing I knew you were going off like gangbusters in various threads. Just about everyone and I do mean everyone who posts here long enough gets their ass handed to them when there are differing opinions. It goes back and forth between folks for a moment, but one or the other eventually backs off or at least shuts up if not willing to concede possible wrongness and it peters out quickly enough. You however drew clawsl and came back attacking even harder behind the well I'm a bitch and you just have to deal facade and it all blew up very badly last night.

I can honestly say no one here really "hates" you. Hate is too powerful of an emotion for someone we don't even know. Have you put yourself on a lot of Defecation Dossiers around here? Frankly, yes. Still, you haven't done anything so irreparable that stepping back, thinking hard before you click those reply/submit buttons and chilling out can't eventually fix. I'm not saying you have to be a goody-goody-two-shoes. We all respect honest opinions, even if we don't agree with them, when they are presented intelligently and without accusation.

It took time for things to get this bad, it will take time before it gets right again, but if you're sincere in trying, it will all work out.
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Old 11-25-2009, 08:21 AM   #3
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by OneWickedAngel View Post
HappyFace83, You started off nice enough introducing yourself in the pictures threads. Next thing I knew you were going off like gangbusters in various threads. Just about everyone and I do mean everyone who posts here long enough gets their ass handed to them when there are differing opinions. It goes back and forth between folks for a moment, but one or the other eventually backs off or at least shuts up if not willing to concede possible wrongness and it peters out quickly enough. You however drew clawsl and came back attacking even harder behind the well I'm a bitch and you just have to deal facade and it all blew up very badly last night.

I can honestly say no one here really "hates" you. Hate is too powerful of an emotion for someone we don't even know. Have you put yourself on a lot of Defecation Dossiers around here? Frankly, yes. Still, you haven't done anything so irreparable that stepping back, thinking hard before you click those reply/submit buttons and chilling out can't eventually fix. I'm not saying you have to be a goody-goody-two-shoes. We all respect honest opinions, even if we don't agree with them, when they are presented intelligently and without accusation.

It took time for things to get this bad, it will take time before it gets right again, but if you're sincere in trying, it will all work out.
OWA this is a very honest and truthful assessment of the whole situation. IF HF83 is honest with herself she will agree. If not, then nothing will change and any future interaction with her will be a waste of time.
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Old 11-25-2009, 08:21 AM   #4
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Happyface, I have been posting here for a bit over a year now. I love this place, it is like a haven for me and I also love the people here. I have made some lovely friends and they have become very dear to me.

I also think that other people here, find it a solace or a haven as I do. When someone comes along and makes critiscisms or posts negative comments about Dims or the people here, it stands to reason that you will cop some flack IMO.

If you really want to connect with people here, take on board what Bubble has said. They are wise words.

As for getting attention when you post negatively, "you will catch more flies with honey than vinegar". Stop trying to sell yourself so much, if you are a truly genuine person it will shine through on it's own.
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Old 11-25-2009, 10:49 AM   #5
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I agree with OWA we all have had our asses handed to us at one time or another..Just remember this is written word and people will read what ever emotion they want into it..

We have times when we come to post and we really shouldn't because we are in a bad mood or something is going on IRL that is effecting how we are thinking at that moment..Those are the times we should all step away from the comp and do something else for a while..I know when I am not feeling it I leave Dims alone for days at a time..Not because I don't enjoy the people here,I just do not think they deserve to be attacked or deserve me being a bitch to them just because my life is not going the way I want it to..

Please understand we do not hate you..You just rub a few of us the wrong way at times..We all rub each other the wrong way from time to time..It happens it is human nature..
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Old 11-25-2009, 11:30 AM   #6
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Default

I missed all the hullabaloo elsewhere but I do concur with the ladies here. I think it's a fine thing to want understanding and comraderie among likeminded people. The thing is, everybody here wants that. Nobody is going to be sing-songy with you while you treat them like crap. If I call someone a fucking idiot they're not going to see through the bullshit and think, "Aww, poor thing. She just needs to be understood. I'll let her explore. " We're not shrinks here, we're all people looking for the same thing. Some of the nastier posters on this board have sat through entire threads dedicated to calling them assholes in 50 different languages so it's by no means a free ride for anyone. Before you hit 'submit' it might be a good idea to imagine how what you've said would effect you if some person you don't know from Adam said the same thing to or about you.
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