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Old 12-20-2009, 02:31 AM   #1
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Default So, erm, I guess I'm out of the closet now, but

Hey, this is my first topic here since joining, and I might as well share my experience with the so called "FA-Closet" and all the nonsense associated with it.

However, it ultimately ended up as being far less of a deal than I thought it was. When I told people about my preference for ze larger ladies, they were generally accepting of it ! Not one of them laughed or anything. Like, pretty much they were expecting "Worse" or something.

Maybe I'm just incredibly lucky or something, but yeah.

Anyway, I guess the point of this thread is to ask if anyone had a similar experience with "Coming out" about this.
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Old 12-20-2009, 12:12 PM   #2
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Great post - well done sir!

It goes differently for different people but I'm glad you had a relatively easy transition. I lost a couple of friends when I came out as an FA and my parents were incredibly hostile for many years after. I know of some FAs who've had it worse... very bad indeed... and some who have had no repercussions whatsoever. It does seem to vary but there are common things too... like the way that 90%+ of good friends tend to continue being good friends after you tell them about it.
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Old 12-20-2009, 01:40 PM   #3
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To me, coming out simply means to openly stand to one's preference. That means not hiding away a fat girlfriend or partner.

Doing so may raise an eyebrow or require an explanation to some, but it's not like there is a requirement to file a written statement or call friends and family together to break the news. Most of the time it turns out to be a non-issue, though there are also some sad reports from family being inexplicably hostile.

Me, I did have a rather public "coming out" experience when I went on the Sally Jessy Raphael talk show, but that was years after my friends and family were well aware of my preference.
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Old 12-20-2009, 02:35 PM   #4
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There really doesn't have to be any formalities with it as said above. It's just being true to yourself, true to your partners , and being true to others about it. That's really it.

Everyone has different experiences as far as when the moment feels right and the response. Mine overall wasn't bad at all. I was formal on a few occasions. Usually I just bring it up if the conversation moves towards it, but if there's no need, I don't make it a big deal. But I'll always tell the truth.
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Old 12-20-2009, 05:18 PM   #5
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Hmm, well, I haven't told my parents yet since I think it's a little "Too much information" for them haha. They're very accepting people, and have told me many times that they don't care who I date.
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Old 12-20-2009, 07:00 PM   #6
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Hmm, well, I haven't told my parents yet since I think it's a little "Too much information" for them haha. They're very accepting people, and have told me many times that they don't care who I date.
Actions sometimes speak louder than words. I think a better question would be if they asked you, would you say yes?
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Old 12-20-2009, 08:24 PM   #7
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Actions sometimes speak louder than words. I think a better question would be if they asked you, would you say yes?
Well, they're my parents.

So yes.

Its not like they probably don't already know, I mean, they are my parents. Haha.
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Old 12-21-2009, 05:21 AM   #8
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Well, they're my parents.

So yes.

Its not like they probably don't already know, I mean, they are my parents. Haha.
In the same way, I didn't actually ever tell my parents, but I'm 100% sure they know, and they couldn't care less.

With friends, very often they're only likely to give you a hard time about it if you act like it's a 'wrong' thing; if you act like it's normal then it's not nearly as fun for them
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Old 12-21-2009, 08:23 AM   #9
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Great post - well done sir!

It goes differently for different people but I'm glad you had a relatively easy transition. I lost a couple of friends when I came out as an FA and my parents were incredibly hostile for many years after. I know of some FAs who've had it worse... very bad indeed... and some who have had no repercussions whatsoever. It does seem to vary but there are common things too... like the way that 90%+ of good friends tend to continue being good friends after you tell them about it.
If you lost friends because you like big women then they were probably worth losing. Friends wise sometimes you have to sort out the wheat from the chaff and friends still being there when you are being you is a good way of doing that.
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Old 12-21-2009, 08:27 AM   #10
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Me, I did have a rather public "coming out" experience when I went on the Sally Jessy Raphael talk show, but that was years after my friends and family were well aware of my preference.
lmao.. seriously? Is there a link we can see that? what was the show about? Tried to find it but just got this:

http://users.rcn.com/allenharris/conrad.htm


I havn't heard of that host. Is she as famous as Sally Raphael?
Nice tash btw!!
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Old 12-21-2009, 09:27 AM   #11
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lmao.. seriously? Is there a link we can see that? what was the show about? Tried to find it but just got this:

http://users.rcn.com/allenharris/conrad.htm


I havn't heard of that host. Is she as famous as Sally Raphael?
Nice tash btw!!
HOLY CRAP! Kickin' it old school!
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Old 12-21-2009, 09:29 AM   #12
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Well, they're my parents.

So yes.

Its not like they probably don't already know, I mean, they are my parents. Haha.
*South Park* Well that settles it! lol

You are out. </Discussion> lol
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Old 12-23-2009, 08:31 PM   #13
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For me, I guess my "coming out" experiences are on a person-by-person basis, IF they can't already guess by any romantic interest I may have in them.
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To me, coming out simply means to openly stand to one's preference.
That's about the most I've done as far as "coming out".
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Old 12-24-2009, 01:50 AM   #14
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Just chiming in to say way2go, Kieran .
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Old 12-25-2009, 01:33 AM   #15
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For me, I guess my "coming out" experiences are on a person-by-person basis, IF they can't already guess by any romantic interest I may have in them.

That's about the most I've done as far as "coming out".
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Old 12-29-2009, 09:06 AM   #16
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Hey, this is my first topic here since joining, and I might as well share my experience with the so called "FA-Closet" and all the nonsense associated with it.

However, it ultimately ended up as being far less of a deal than I thought it was. When I told people about my preference for ze larger ladies, they were generally accepting of it ! Not one of them laughed or anything. Like, pretty much they were expecting "Worse" or something.

Maybe I'm just incredibly lucky or something, but yeah.

Anyway, I guess the point of this thread is to ask if anyone had a similar experience with "Coming out" about this.


I had a pretty similar experience. When I was younger I felt the need to tell my best friends everything, since I was a.) a teenage girl and b.) an incredibly open person. For me to be an FFA and not share those feelings with them was blasphemy.

So one night I gathered all 4 of us together and very solemnly explained "I need to tell you guys something...". After about 10 minutes of working up the courage I finally whispered "I like...fat guys." They laughed! I remember them telling me they were so relieved that it wasn't anything serious and how it wasn't a big deal at all.

I still keep in touch with 2 of the girls and they still tease me from time to time, but over all they accepted it quite willingly. I've learned over the years that "coming out" doesn't necessarily have to be done and people will figure it out by the people you chose to date.
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Old 12-29-2009, 12:17 PM   #17
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Hey, this is my first topic here since joining, and I might as well share my experience with the so called "FA-Closet" and all the nonsense associated with it.

However, it ultimately ended up as being far less of a deal than I thought it was. When I told people about my preference for ze larger ladies, they were generally accepting of it ! Not one of them laughed or anything. Like, pretty much they were expecting "Worse" or something.

Maybe I'm just incredibly lucky or something, but yeah.

Anyway, I guess the point of this thread is to ask if anyone had a similar experience with "Coming out" about this.
Congratulations to you sir. I'm glad you were honest with your friends and family. I told my dad I was an FA and he was very cool about it. he didn't say a thing about it. He's cool like that. I'm sure the rest of my family would be cool about it.
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Old 01-01-2010, 03:10 AM   #18
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Hmm, well, I haven't told my parents yet since I think it's a little "Too much information" for them haha. They're very accepting people, and have told me many times that they don't care who I date.
I don't feel the need to tell anyone. When they continually see me with bigger women they should be able to put 2 and 2 together.

However, on some very quick reflection what tends to happen is that people feel that you are only with a big woman because you can't get a thin one. My older sister is continually commenting on good looking men that she sees with fat women. I haven't told her of my preference, and I shouldn't have to, she will simply have to deal with it if she values our relationship, bearing in mind that I don't live with any of my sisters and only see them about once or twice a year.
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Old 01-01-2010, 04:20 AM   #19
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I don't feel the need to tell anyone. When they continually see me with bigger women they should be able to put 2 and 2 together.

However, on some very quick reflection what tends to happen is that people feel that you are only with a big woman because you can't get a thin one. My older sister is continually commenting on good looking men that she sees with fat women. I haven't told her of my preference, and I shouldn't have to, she will simply have to deal with it if she values our relationship, bearing in mind that I don't live with any of my sisters and only see them about once or twice a year.
Yeah, well, personally I felt like I had to tell my friends this though. I hate that whole "He only goes for fat girls because he has low standards" mentality. It's pretty much retarded to say the least. meh, we all know that here lol.

Oh, I ended up telling my parents, they didn't really care all that much. They haven't made any deal out of it whatsoever. I guess that probably is a good thing though.
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Old 01-04-2010, 01:59 PM   #20
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However, it ultimately ended up as being far less of a deal than I thought it was.
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