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Old 11-26-2009, 09:28 AM   #51
name2come
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Originally Posted by mergirl View Post
Am i the only one here..??
I would say if i had to pick a sexuality that described me i would say 'lesbian' because i generally want to have sex with women.
-Though..there have been times i have seen a fat guy and thought .."ah mmmmm yas jubbles"
-I can look as a fat male body and think "wow..he is beautiful and his body is really interesting to me"- Actually to the point i am turned on
-when i read stories about fat guys when i was younger i would/could be just as turned on as if i were reading about a woman..

I dont know why i have never considered actually 'being' with a fat guy though.. i think there is a difference between interest in something beautiful and an everyday sexuality.

eta-can't belive tad is on holiday!! i'm counting on you now Telute!!!!!
I would actually describe my feelings almost identically, though being male I would identify as straight. It was definitely something that awakened after I got fat myself. I knew women who viewed sites like Dimensions as a way of encouraging self-affirmation so I figured it was worth a try. Suffice to say, it had an impact.

I realized, though, that wasn't simply a platonic admiration or even an extention of sexual pleasure in my own fat male body, but a genuine sexual arousal in other fat men not that unlike my arousal to fat women. I've never been with a fat man and I know your feeling of sensing a disconnect between this sexual arousal and active desire. I'm not sure that is what I'm feeling, even as I'm certain that I find fat male bodies very beautiful and intriguing.
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Old 11-27-2009, 02:25 PM   #52
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I see what youse mean now.

And cheeky sez that men are more likely to be into the gendered attraction?

Any guess about why that might be?
I haven't noticed this, I dunno what he's talking about there I think it might just be sample size - I have been more active in queer circles, so I've got a wider sample base.

Also - hetero-gender-typed.... ha! I like it!
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Old 12-05-2009, 07:41 PM   #53
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Unf, I love this board, people actually know what they're talking about here.

I like any gender, and I like any size, but I do find fat pretty hot. It's not like a deal-maker/breaker, but YEAH. I like genderqueerness too. I am not sure whether I prefer men or just have more opportunity with them.

There is a difference too between what I find attractive and what I want to bone. I can find any type of person beautiful, pretty much. I have perved upont pretty, slim femme boys. But I'd rather be banging a really un-femme fat and nerdy boy or girl.

But talking of sexuality beyond the act of sex and genitals and genders, I also like being with anyone (who I deem lovely enough), fat or not, that finds my body a turn-on - since I'm fat, those people often are fattyfatsexualz.
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Old 12-06-2009, 04:00 PM   #54
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But talking of sexuality beyond the act of sex and genitals and genders, I also like being with anyone (who I deem lovely enough), fat or not, that finds my body a turn-on - since I'm fat, those people often are fattyfatsexualz.
oooh! i think thats a big part of my sexuality too, which i think is the reason why i would date an Fa if i was fatter because i like the idea of someone being utterly turned on by me as a part of their sexiality. The same goes for basically dating someone who thinks i'm hot too. Though, 'finding me hot' isn't ingrained, but for some it can be learned! lol
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Old 12-07-2009, 08:32 AM   #55
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Originally Posted by mergirl View Post
Am i the only one here..??
I would say if i had to pick a sexuality that described me i would say 'lesbian' because i generally want to have sex with women.
-Though..there have been times i have seen a fat guy and thought .."ah mmmmm yas jubbles"
-I can look as a fat male body and think "wow..he is beautiful and his body is really interesting to me"- Actually to the point i am turned on
-when i read stories about fat guys when i was younger i would/could be just as turned on as if i were reading about a woman..

I dont know why i have never considered actually 'being' with a fat guy though.. i think there is a difference between interest in something beautiful and an everyday sexuality.

eta-can't belive tad is on holiday!! i'm counting on you now Telute!!!!!
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Originally Posted by name2come View Post
I would actually describe my feelings almost identically, though being male I would identify as straight. It was definitely something that awakened after I got fat myself. I knew women who viewed sites like Dimensions as a way of encouraging self-affirmation so I figured it was worth a try. Suffice to say, it had an impact.

I realized, though, that wasn't simply a platonic admiration or even an extention of sexual pleasure in my own fat male body, but a genuine sexual arousal in other fat men not that unlike my arousal to fat women. I've never been with a fat man and I know your feeling of sensing a disconnect between this sexual arousal and active desire. I'm not sure that is what I'm feeling, even as I'm certain that I find fat male bodies very beautiful and intriguing.
These pretty much sum it up for me ^^^

(I know the thread has moved on, in fascinating directions, but since Mer mentioned me by name in the first post I figured I'd reply).
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Old 12-07-2009, 02:58 PM   #56
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Default more fat/gender thoughts.

On the question of does fat make people of one or both genders more masculine or feminine, Iíd take a step back.

Play a word association game, and right down words you generally associate with either feminine or masculine. Words that appear on those lists for some people clearly correlate with fatness. If you associate masculine with some version of large/big/takes up space, then youíll probably perceive some masculine dimensions to fatness. If you associate feminine with softness, youíll probably perceive some feminine dimensions to fatness. If you see both of those things, youíll probably see some of both of those at the same time! Some may be less direct correlations too. For some people masculine might be associated with a big steak-and-potatoes appetite, for example. For some feminine might associate with needing help with more physically demanding tasks. Both of those things might correlate with fatness for some people, but not for others.

To add another layer, what are your personal sexual hot buttons, the particular things that get your attention? I think almost everyone has them to some degree, be they physical, mental, personality, status, or whatever. A softly dimpled cheek could be someoneís hot button, something seen on a fair proportion of fatter women and a smaller proportion of fat men. Or being made to feel small next to your partner which is more apt to happen with a fat guy but could obviously happen with some fat women. Or being turned on by a partnerís unbridles enjoyment of physical sensuality, which really could come from either gender, and may or may not have anything to do with fatness depending on how you view it. Or liking someone whose appearance screams wealth and success, which depending on time, culture, and personal associations could mean anything from very thin to very fat, and may vary by gender.

Even just looking at those two layers you have practically unlimited combinations. Which is why I think there is so much personal variation, even if there are certain trends shared by varying numbers of people.

For me, some of my physical hot buttons include certain face shapes and body proportions, which are more common with women but which happen with men. I also tend to associate fat more with softness and physical limitations than with power and dominating presence, so I suppose you could say that to me it is more feminine, but in my mind it doesnít really have a masculine or feminine association (just teh hotness!). Net, I tend to really notice more fat women than fat men, but every now and then Iíll see a fat guy that nearly makes my eyes pop out of my head because he just seems to capture all of that (and other things Iíve not listed). So I guess for me Iíd be Jezís type that likes the same type across genders, rather than the one who likes different things in different genders.
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Old 12-08-2009, 05:05 AM   #57
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I really think in so many cases it is more about what gender-type you are attracted to as opposed to what gender. I know there are some who cannot get past a person's biological sex but i'm not entierly sure that is innate. ie. You will find many guys who feel genuine sexual confusion even anger when they realise the drag queen they have been having a hard on for in a bar is not actually a woman. A hetrosexual woman might be really attracted to a butch woman thinking she is a man. Can the feelings of instantanous lust and attraction be turned off so easily?
Lilly said something interesting earlier about maby being able to find butch women attractive but not from the waist down. Perhaps for some there is only so far gender typed attraction can go. Still, i wonder if gender-typed attraction is more deeply rooted than gender attraction.
This year i studied child development and this included different theories of gender development. It was interesting to me to combine the studies and make observations about my own childhood gender-typical behaviour and the behaviour of other queer, though predominantly gay people.
One theory is that of social learning (and also cognitive developmental theory-which goes one step further in regards to the thought processes involved in the social)- Basically, this theory states that children learn how to be male or female through viewing others. There have been a lot of experiments where kids are playing with toys which are gendertypically male or female- The parents reaction to them is noted. In nearly all cases the father will chastise a male child for playing with a 'female' gendertyped toy. This in turn (as the theory goes) will make the child seek out gender appropriate toys to gain the approval of adults of their own gender. In these experiments there is no such chastizing when girls play with male toys and socially it is more acceptable to be a tomboy than a 'girlie boy'.
Many of the gay women i know rejected dolls and dresses. I remember actually crying when i got a doll for xmas and i hated wearing dresses. I actually like dressing up now.. but thats cause i'm a transvestite! and i really have no interest in babies and really don't think they are cute. Many of my gay male friends said they were more interested in playing 'girls' games when they were younger, which are generally social based games, such as 'houses' and not so competitive.
I know this is not always the case but i think in many cases gender-typed roles are somehow non typical in gay people and i wonder if and how that ties in with gender sexuality.
The psychological perspective i was talking about is quite a simplistic one and 'gender schema theory' explains to a greater degree how the formation of gender identity comes about (if you are interested-I know you are interested in this stuff Tad).
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Old 12-15-2009, 09:59 PM   #58
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I'm a bi-sexual pre-op MTF, on the skinnier side, trying to get back from my current size of 5'10" 165lb down to 135lbs. It's not a dislike of fat, but I have knee problems from a car accident when I was 6(and even at 165 it's worse than it was before) and shockingly a f***ed up self image that tends to come with the transitory(new word?).

I like femme women of pretty much any weight, preferably heavier than light. However, once in a while a hot guy (Ex - Currently, Shemar Moore from Criminal Minds. Oooh...) will catch my eye. I don't date because I am not quite ready to share myself with someone else, and I want a relationship, not some of the f***ed up stuff people call one. Until I'm ready, I'd just be leading the other person on, and/or wasting their time. Repression takes a long time to get over.

For childhood, I was interested in computer games, engines and motors and pop culture. The thing is, the people I hang out in the car crowd probably don't care about the new track by Lady Gaga or what the latest gossip I saw on Chelsea Lately or The Soup. The people I talk that stuff with probably don't care about Jaguar XKs, Midyear Corvettes or pre-war classics like a Mercedes 540K Spezial Roadster or a Bugatti Type 57 Atlantic. I've found that interests had little to do with my gender or sexual development.

My post may seem a little random, but eh, that's me. I wrote it as responses to what I saw as common themes and things stated in the thread. I hope it's at least a little interesting.
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Old 12-16-2009, 05:39 PM   #59
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Hey sowhat, i don't think your post was random it seemed to fit in. I think its amazing that we all share the fact our gender sexuality and gender-types are all so different and also sad that most of us at some point have felt that we wouldn't fit in because of that fact. I hope you find comfort that in not fitting in together we somehow just fit.
When you are ready to share your self, that person will be very lucky.
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Old 12-18-2009, 06:59 PM   #60
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Originally Posted by mergirl View Post
Hey sowhat, i don't think your post was random it seemed to fit in. I think its amazing that we all share the fact our gender sexuality and gender-types are all so different and also sad that most of us at some point have felt that we wouldn't fit in because of that fact. I hope you find comfort that in not fitting in together we somehow just fit.
When you are ready to share your self, that person will be very lucky.
xmer
Excellent statement. The subject of gender identity, sexual orientation, sexual development and other issues always seems to be a hard one to create elegant statements like the bolded. On that same note, this board seems to have extremely level headed, articulate discussions. It's just kind of amazing considering some discussions on this subject(not here) can end up making you check to make sure you're not on 4chan.
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Old 02-12-2010, 09:57 PM   #61
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I'd identify myself as fat-sexual. That is, fat takes precedence over "traditional" sexual desires (i.e. the actual act of sex). I find fat guys as visually appealling as fat women, but in terms of attraction, I'd rather be with a woman.
I'm am this but would rather be with a man. A huge butt, thighs, and belly always get my attention.
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Old 02-12-2010, 11:31 PM   #62
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I'm am this but would rather be with a man. A huge butt, thighs, and belly always get my attention.
Twinsies
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Old 02-12-2010, 11:57 PM   #63
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We have to get matching Hawaiian shirts
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Old 02-13-2010, 12:30 AM   #64
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We have to get matching Hawaiian shirts
And matching binoculars for our fat-sighting excursions
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Old 02-13-2010, 12:57 AM   #65
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And matching binoculars for our fat-sighting excursions
LOL...Man I have really good eyesight so I got to go with the Blu Blockers because people can totally feel me when I stare......
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