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Old 11-08-2005, 05:19 PM   #1
altered states
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Default Tasti D*Lite gives you VD

The Snickers flavor tastes like brown sidewalk chalk, the kind you draw hopscotch boards with. The banana tastes like the painted stucco on a high rise condo. The vanilla tastes like a black hole - you actually feel your tongue collapsing upon itself until it explodes into a brilliant white light that can be seen from the Moon. The chocolate tastes like fumbling a pass in front of the girl you have a crush on.

The women who wait in line to pay $3.75 for a wafer cone full of spackle suck in bed. Their breasts set off airport security equipment and their asses are not even fit to be sat upon. They clutch greasy little dogs in billion dollar plastic handbags covered with patterns of logos that if you stare at long enough and then look at a white wall, you see a huge middle finger. They tip badly and cut themselves on purpose.

I have spoken.
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Old 11-08-2005, 05:37 PM   #2
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Yow! ......
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Old 11-08-2005, 05:58 PM   #3
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Best post ever.
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Old 11-08-2005, 06:06 PM   #4
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So how do you feel about White Castle, TH?
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Old 11-08-2005, 06:21 PM   #5
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Quite an impressive tapestry of vitriol you've woven here.

Great stuff!

Sorta reminds me of the Frenchmen from 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail'.

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Old 11-08-2005, 06:43 PM   #6
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Default A Double reply

I just had to come back and read this again.

If this isn't 'Bunion' worthy I may be forced to write the editor.

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Old 11-08-2005, 07:26 PM   #7
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I gave myself a nasty cut while trying to tip myself after some self-serve Tasty D*Lite. They don't have that stuff out here in north Cali and I don't recall it from my NY./Long Island days. Is it anything like Chicken Delight? Would it be safe to say it's one of your desert island foods?
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Old 11-08-2005, 08:21 PM   #8
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Default

In my high school cafeteria, they sold milk from Alderney-Puritan Dairies.

Someone started a rumor that Alderney-Puritan Milk made you sterile.

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Old 11-10-2005, 06:33 AM   #9
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Default It's initials are, after all, "WC"

Quote:
Originally Posted by fatlane
So how do you feel about White Castle, TH?
Just kidding - I love White Castle, the only fast food I ever eat. I know it's indefensible in any rational way, but so are oysters, foie gras, etc.
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Old 11-10-2005, 06:39 AM   #10
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Default desert island drek

Quote:
Originally Posted by Santaclear
Would it be safe to say it's one of your desert island foods?
No, because it has no nutritional value or calories, so I could eat 3 gallons and starve to death anyway. Maybe, because I doubt the stuff would ever melt, even in the tropical sun.
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Old 11-10-2005, 06:42 AM   #11
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Default gosh

Quote:
Originally Posted by Boteroesque Babe
Best post ever.
That award, 2nd place and honorable mention go to you, but thanks.

I know I'm screaming into the void, but they replaced a Haagen Daz in the neighborhood where I work. I now have some insight into what motivates suicide bombers.
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Old 11-10-2005, 06:19 PM   #12
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True. More ice cream = less terror.
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Old 11-10-2005, 07:26 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tres huevos
I know I'm screaming into the void, but they replaced a Haagen Daz in the neighborhood where I work. I now have some insight into what motivates suicide bombers.
LMAO!

(And why is there no ROTFL smiley on this board?)
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Old 11-10-2005, 11:59 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tres huevos
No, because it has no nutritional value or calories, so I could eat 3 gallons and starve to death anyway. Maybe, because I doubt the stuff would ever melt, even in the tropical sun.
Sounds like the stuff will last 10,000 years and feed a whole tribe of microscopic Gilligans but they'll starve anyway. Like a bad dream come alive, a swarm of ants spiralling from the center of the sun. (Don't mind me.) Speaking of the sun, do you think Tasti D*Lite could survive the heat at it's center?
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Old 11-11-2005, 12:00 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fatlane
True. More ice cream = less terror.
Ice cream = fear.
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Old 11-11-2005, 12:17 AM   #16
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I never even heard of the stuff before. I had to google it. Still not exactly sure what it is.
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Old 11-11-2005, 10:41 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack Skellington
I never even heard of the stuff before. I had to google it. Still not exactly sure what it is.
It's low fat yogurt that is supposed to taste like ice cream and is not nearly as bad as other people have said. It depends on where you get it. The machine that is comes out of will either make it extra fluffy or hard. It doesn't taste like high fat ice cream but, it is not that bad IMHO. But, when its texture is fluffy it is much better! There used to be a Seduttos on about 78St and 1St Avenue in NYC (don't know if it is still there - it's been at least 7 or 8 years since I had been there) where it was extra fluffy and wasn't bad at all. But, I also have to admit that was before I had given up counting calories and now I don't eat the stuff. But, I have gained about 70 or 80 pounds since. Hmmmmmmmm...........

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Old 11-11-2005, 04:57 PM   #18
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I grew up right by the original Sedutto's on Staten Island. I do miss their shakes and ice cream and the very 1970's slash art noveau lady on their ice cream cups. When an elderly person crashed into their building, they finally became air conditioned. Who ever heard of a non a/c ice cream parlor?

I miss them.
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