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Old 05-20-2010, 04:47 AM   #101
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Minority of two.

I once dated a guy who worked in marketing, and his company did a lot of promotions of things like having a pro athlete signing autographs in sports equiptment stores. They had a vendor who produced those big life sized cardboard cutouts of athletes that you see in Footlockers and those sorts of places. As a manager, he had to give approval of copy and layout of those things and so he had to be contacted at all hours. So...if we were out and he had to sign off on copy of a promotional flyer or layout of a life sized "Shaq", i didn't care at all. If i was sitting there enjoying a nice glass of wine or a cocktail and he was paying, I understood the money came from his job, which he needed his phone/email/texts/ to do.
Yeah but that's a little different. Somebody with a job like that, a doctor or some other kind of thing is something that's understood. He's got to take the call. Some mall goon though with lots of annoying friends is not. When I'm with people I shut my phone off, its rude. I'm not going to be yakking it up on the phone when I'm supposed to be spending time with someone unless there's something going on. If I'm expecting a call back on an audition, I'm waiting to hear medical test results, etc. I usually tell the people I'm with that I'm looking for "A" call. Otherwise my phone is on vibrate when I'm with someone, especially someone I like. I don't know, maybe I'm from a different era or something. That just seems elementary.
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Old 05-20-2010, 11:12 AM   #102
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It's probably a generational thing. It doesn't bother me or my friends. I mean if it was obnoxious where the person wasn't listening to you at all or was on their phone the entire time, obviously that'd be a problem.. but sending some texts.. that doesn't bother me.
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Old 05-20-2010, 11:26 AM   #103
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It's probably a generational thing. It doesn't bother me or my friends. I mean if it was obnoxious where the person wasn't listening to you at all or was on their phone the entire time, obviously that'd be a problem.. but sending some texts.. that doesn't bother me.
For you, is this true even on a first date? I feel the first date needs special consideration. After that, a little texting and taking important calls is okay (especially if their job demands they take calls) - but usually with some kind of acknowledgement that they're doing it and want to be respectful of your time. If there are other people around for you to talk to while they're texting and whatnot, then fine, but if you are forced to stare at the wall while they send out a bunch of texts or take unimportant calls...that's just inconsiderate, to me. It might be generational.
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Old 05-20-2010, 11:35 AM   #104
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yes and no got lots of regular sounding guys to and even loads in my own country think I have only stayed talking to a couple one is in a relationship but know him from a yahoo group andhe isnt looking for anything just friendship and I have known him for years, one is a bbw clothing dude and the other well

Oh and one I may end up deleting not sure yet he seems like he may be a collector meh

other than that I have only been approached once since I removed lots of groups and things

and the ones with unpronounceable names diddnt even get past the friend request I am being a total hard arse

just my opinion, i know a lot of people will disagree: you don't have to delete everybody. just don't take them all seriously. sometimes its nice just to have a good innocent flirt. besides not all guys should be love interests. its nice to just have a group of people you talk to that you know find you attractive. its not that you have to depend on them for your self worth at all but it doesn't hurt to have friends who reinforce the vision you have of yourself. and its helpful to them to be able to say that they find someone attractive who is fat and believes it. so it can be a mutual help if we don't take the net thing too seriously. as long as the guy isn't rude or tries to do something unacceptable to you it shouldn't be a problem.

i've made quite a few people others might think are trolls into good solid respectful online and even IRL friends. people have interests other than just sex. if the guy isn't mean or manipulative there's no reason to be totally paranoid. just keep a few rules for yourself to keep you out of emotional trouble and away feeling closer to someone than you should who hasn't shown the important signs of really being interested in who you are. i mean if a guy is creepy definitely delete him. but, if its just that he isn't someone you'd chose to date or you think maybe he is in a relationship or something just don't get close to him in that way. if all he wants is to control you or use you he'll disappear anyway. an online friendship can be a great thing when you want someone to hash things out with or just a shoulder to cry on. we need more than just our girls to talk to sometimes.
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Old 05-20-2010, 11:39 AM   #105
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For you, is this true even on a first date? I feel the first date needs special consideration. After that, a little texting and taking important calls is okay (especially if their job demands they take calls) - but usually with some kind of acknowledgement that they're doing it and want to be respectful of your time. If there are other people around for you to talk to while they're texting and whatnot, then fine, but if you are forced to stare at the wall while they send out a bunch of texts or take unimportant calls...that's just inconsiderate, to me. It might be generational.
If it's a first date then I'd prefer they kept it to a minimum but if their phone goes off I don't care if they look at the text and text the person back or answer the call and say they can't talk. I mean if within the first five minutes they pull out their phone and call someone up, that'd be a problem, but if they're just responding to handful of texts throughout dinner or something, sure.
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Old 05-20-2010, 11:46 AM   #106
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For you, is this true even on a first date? I feel the first date needs special consideration. After that, a little texting and taking important calls is okay (especially if their job demands they take calls) - but usually with some kind of acknowledgement that they're doing it and want to be respectful of your time. If there are other people around for you to talk to while they're texting and whatnot, then fine, but if you are forced to stare at the wall while they send out a bunch of texts or take unimportant calls...that's just inconsiderate, to me. It might be generational.
I agree. I'm really trying wrap my head around that. I'm trying to imagine if I were younger and I were hanging around with the same people all the time that might be okay I suppose. These days though I don't see my friends all that often. I have to make time to get together with them, shoot the breeze, shop or whatever. It could very well be generational but if a person I'm meeting with is messing with their phone, texting and what not I would litterally get up and walk out on them. I blew something off to be there. Don't waste my time.
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Old 05-20-2010, 12:13 PM   #107
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" I usually tell the people I'm with that I'm looking for "A" call. "

This is what I appreciate from people. Also, if I know they have kids, I understand they might be getting a few calls asking where the peanut butter disappeared to...real emergencies. Other than that, I just have a really hard time with anything that is not important. Maybe carry a crossword puzzle, and when they hang up, whip it out and start. Hold one finger up at them if they start to ask why you are doing it.
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Old 05-20-2010, 05:47 PM   #108
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I agree. I'm really trying wrap my head around that. I'm trying to imagine if I were younger and I were hanging around with the same people all the time that might be okay I suppose. These days though I don't see my friends all that often. I have to make time to get together with them, shoot the breeze, shop or whatever. It could very well be generational but if a person I'm meeting with is messing with their phone, texting and what not I would litterally get up and walk out on them. I blew something off to be there. Don't waste my time.
I'm sure that has something to do with it too.. most of my close friends I see a few times a week so it's not as big of a deal when we get together.
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Old 05-21-2010, 08:15 AM   #109
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For you, is this true even on a first date? I feel the first date needs special consideration. .
Countess Luann feels it's in very poor taste. Ultimate sin!

IF LOVING THE HOUSEWIVES IS WRONG, I DO NOT WANT TO BE RIGHT.
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Old 05-21-2010, 09:20 AM   #110
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Countess Luann feels it's in very poor taste. Ultimate sin!

IF LOVING THE HOUSEWIVES IS WRONG, I DO NOT WANT TO BE RIGHT.
Damn straight.
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"...If the only pain you recognize as valid is your own, of course you'll have trouble identifying it when you see it in other people. That's the trouble with narcissism. It makes you really inadequate and boring."

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Old 05-21-2010, 10:37 AM   #111
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Countess Luann feels it's in very poor taste. Ultimate sin!

IF LOVING THE HOUSEWIVES IS WRONG, I DO NOT WANT TO BE RIGHT.
Where is that damn unamused smiley when you need it?
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